Hi Guys

My boyfriend and i have been in a relationship for almost two years.We've been having sex for at least a year, the problem is, i cannot open up with him and tell him what i like during sex or what i prefer him doing......he is the total opposite and i don't mind at all.

He is the first guy i slept with.....

He told me that i need to open up to him, otherwise he wouldn't know what he is doing right or what he is not.Whatever he told me made perfect sense.

The thing is, is that i really do what to tell him these things but jus can't bring myself to....i am really shy and he knows it, but i jus feel like this is going to cause a chip in our relationship,u know , me not communicating with him about sex....

Guys , please help, i'm not sure how to handle this one.

well, i don't know how you're gonna tell him unless you well, tell him. talk to him about it, talk to him how you feel shy about telling him what you like/don't like. i don't know how you've been having sex for a year without telling him what you like really. it's something you should definitely do ASAP ... any communication block cannot be fixed with some wave of a magic wand, you have to do just that, talk.

if you drink some alcohol or smoke some weed you'll feel alot more social and less shy about talking about sex

I enjoy having sex with him..... i do, maybe i feel that things should jus come naturally, go with the flow or something....

But yeah, u right Devils Angel, i gotta communicate some how.....I jus wish i could understand why its so difficult for me.

quote:Originally posted by truth:

I enjoy having sex with him..... i do, maybe i feel that things should jus come naturally, go with the flow or something....

But yeah, u right Devils Angel, i gotta communicate some how.....I jus wish i could understand why its so difficult for me.

well, talk that out with someone, either him or a good friend. talk about what might make you shy about it, it's something you do have to figure out or yes it will hinder your relationship. i know it took a while before i figured out that i didn't always say what i felt (in any situation) because i was worried it would make someone angry or judge me or abandon me (i'd only, ONLY talk to my best friend) and then i realized that it wasn't true and if i just relaxed a little i could just talk. so you have to figure out for yourself, what it is that's bothering you about being open. it all comes back to talking.

quote:Originally posted by truth:

...The thing is, is that i really do what to tell him these things but jus can't bring myself to...

Well, you need to articulate "these things" somehow. Apparently you're too shy to even blurt it out here, anonymously.

You need to start somewhere. Have you tried writing them down? Once you do that, maybe you can write them here. Then move up to telling a friend. Once you get a grip on how to say what you want, it'll be easier to tell your man. But if you just let your desires swirl around in your head, bottled up, thatt's where they're destined to stay.

That makes sense, i need to start opening up somehow, maybe writing what i want is a good start, i've done it before in other situations and it worked.

I love my boyfriend and i always wanted to tell him what i liked and what i wanted during sex.....

He's a great guy and really open about stuff.

Devilangel and DeadlyCindy, u guys are a great help

hi truth.quit worrying bout it! if he loves you then you'll get there in the end.he should already have a pretty good idea about what you like and what you'd still like to try.if he does'nt then he has'nt been paying you enough attention kid.

Thats how i also felt Jackketch, if he does pay atttention when we do have sex then he should have that idea of what i like form my reponses...i mean thats how i got to know what he liked me doing ...u know, by listening to his moans, i'd know if he liked that certain way i did something...so i guess i expected the same thing...

quote:Originally posted by deadlycindy:

Well, you need to articulate "these things" somehow.

nobody needs to create formulas how he likes it. Feelings are much better and keeps you away from those fetish sicknesses ...

Instead of talking if you are embarrassed about it just take his hand or whatever and guide it where you want it to go and move it at he pace and all you like. I know that I had to tell my fiancee to tell me if I was doing somethng she didnt like. I mean not every girl is the same and I know my fiancee likes say her nipples being tugged at a lot harder than my previous g/f, well you know stuff like that. Some prefer slow and soft while others want it rough and ready.

Mackofett's last post was right on the money i think. It's unlikely you're going to hurt your boyfriend's feelings by telling him what you want. Is it that it makes you feel kind of dirty to say it out loud? I kind of feel that way with my girlfriend sometimes.

Basically, if there's something you want him to do that he's not doing you're gonna have to let him know one way or another.

quote:Originally posted by truth:

That makes sense, i need to start opening up somehow, maybe writing what i want is a good start, i've done it before in other situations and it worked.

I love my boyfriend and i always wanted to tell him what i liked and what i wanted during sex.....

He's a great guy and really open about stuff.

Devilangel and DeadlyCindy, u guys are a great help



If its kinky and your afraid he might not want to , believe me he will, write him a cute little note, if any of my ex gfs wrote note to me about what they wanted during sex, i would , that would just blow my mind. not only does that takes balls, but id respect her more.

You should just sit him down and talk to him about what you want, then have him tell you what he wants and go from there.

quote:Originally posted by truth:

Thats how i also felt Jackketch, if he does pay atttention when we do have sex then he should have that idea of what i like form my reponses...i mean thats how i got to know what he liked me doing ...u know, by listening to his moans, i'd know if he liked that certain way i did something...so i guess i expected the same thing...



Yeah usualy I can tell what a girl wants but how she acts when I touch her, like if she is touning my hari or sucking my neck , or she puts her hands near her genatalia. Yea i think most guys can kinda read what the girl is liking. Correct me if im wrong

puts her hands near her gentalia?!?!1 yucky.