Yes, of course there have been threads about honesty, but hear me out...

I'm a compulsive liar.

Maybe you don't think such a condition exists, or whatever, but, that doesn't matter. I can't help it. I lie about even the most trivial things, thus, making it impossible to hold a relationship.

This might belong in Bitch & Moan after all, but, I guess I'm looking for some sort of guidance.

I'm a young man, seventeen years old. I look like this (http://new.lithedark.com/media/images/josiah1.jpg), this (http://new.lithedark.com/media/images/josiah2.jpg), and this (http://new.lithedark.com/media/images/josiah3.jpg).

I'm not basing my entire life on this fact. I'm sure I'll find some way out of it somehow...the problem is, I'm afraid of change. Deeply afraid. I have no friends because I won't allow anyone to get close to me because I'm afraid of being hurt when they leave me. Don't just tell me to go get laid, either. I'm sentimental, and sex means something to me.

What else? I don't know. I'm just rambling. I need to know how to deal with these problems so that I can be in a relationship. I long for one, but I ruin everything before it comes to pass.

So...comments, suggestions, whatever, it's all welcome. This might belong in some other forum, but i doubt it. At the core, I'm looking for ways to improve my life relationship-wise.

Thanks.

ok, why do you lie? figure that one out, is it to make up for a dull boring life?

I never let anyone really get that close to me, not cause i lie out my ass, ( sometimes i lie, but everyone lies a little) but because out of my 5 ex gfs 4 of them cheated on me and one moved. I gave then what they wanted and they just hurt me. Also in 8th grade all my friends heard shit from some kid who hated me and then they all jsut didnt talk to me, in 8th grade that really hurts.

Ok back on topis why do you lie? and to who everyone? I would recomend a new start, Im moving to chicago cause no one where i live really likes me. I know its drastic but if you lie to everyone you cant jsut tell then you lie, do people know you lie?



I see you like poetry?!?! write some for girls. and well try not to lie.

[This message has been edited by bushy (edited 03-25-2004).]

Dude...The easiest answer I can give you is tell the truth!

It may seem like I haven't read your post but I did.

Basically...You've got to think about what you're saying before you say it.

Don't just say the first thing that comes into your head because seeing as you're a compulsive liar, the chances are higher that it will be a lie.

Think to yourself before you answer a question "Tell the truth...No matter how bad or dull it may be...Just tell the truth!"

Hope that helps ya buddy!

Actually I am like you, I had to break up with my ex gf becuase there was no trust in the relationship, and when that happens, its as good as over. Its just how i live, i lie about everything.. even things i dont need to lie about.

I have the same problem man, to give an example, I was talking to this girl and she asked me for my number, but since I haven't bought a cellphone yet I said some shit that I had one but it got stolen by some Mexican on the metro. She said that must've sucked and I said to myself "what was the fucking point of that?" I don't know why I do it either, I've been trying to stop it but there's times here and there where I just slip out a bogus story..

Maybe it'll go away, I don't know..

If you're really a 'compulsive liar' then it's a condition that should be treated by a professional.

If you just happen to lie a lot because you can (because it's easy and you always get away with it) or because you don't have the degree of character to tell the truth and admit when you've done something stupid/wrong/embarrassing then I would suggest doing excersizes in self control.

Simple things like giving up your favorite food for an entire year, or abstaining from something you really enjoy, like your favorite TV show, or your favorite PC game, those kinds of things help excersize/develop your self control, it builds up your willpower and gives you more control/strength. Start small and simple and work your way up so that eventually you'll be able to overcome larger vices like lying. It takes a lot of determination though.

I used to lie when I was younger, not for any real reason except that I could and I was very good at it. When I reached about 12 years of age I realized that it would be a problem for me in the future, and that I should do something about it. So I gave up eating meat, completely. Even though eating meat was totaly unrelated to my lying, it developed my self control to the point where I was able to stop lying.



[This message has been edited by Sarcophagus (edited 03-26-2004).]

I saw a poster recently that said "Honesty may not necessarily be the best policy, but it sure is easier on the nerves."

Do you lie as a means of survival (if people knew the truth, they'd kick your ass) or a means of amusement? Unless you keep it all written down, how do you keep track of all these lies? Living this way is tiring and headache-provoking.

It probably won't be hard to stop. Try to be conscious of it, whenever possible, and just shut yourself up when you catch yourself. In mid-sentence, if necessary.

quote:Originally posted by Sarcophagus:

I used to lie when I was younger, not for any real reason except that I could and I was very good at it. When I reached about 12 years of age I realized that it would be a problem for me in the future, and that I should do something about it. So I gave up eating meat, completely. Even though eating meat was totaly unrelated to my lying, it developed my self control to the point where I was able to stop lying.

I was very similar to this, save I changed my tune later in life and, more importantly, did nothing but decide to change. I bring this up not to contradict Sarc, but to offer a different method for change. Some people do better partaking in exercises of self-control, like her; others, like me, can sort of flip a switch to stop self-defeating activity- we just have to find it.

There's always a way, you just have to find *your* way.

u look older than 17 and u look like a hamster.

How do you know you're not lying right now?

Try to slowly tell the truth more and more. It should work, hopefully. I never had this problem I wish I could help but I can't all that much.

In all honesty, I lie for no reason. I don't need to keep track of my lies, because they never contradict each other. It's my nature to lie, I've been doing it so long, and it's too easy to get away with.

I do it to protect people, sometimes? Or myself.

I like to protect myself.

I can't be treated by a professional. It would be too expensive, so I need to find a way to deal with it.

It's not that my life is boring, it's just that, I don't like people to know about me.

Recently, I've been trying to tell the truth. Whenever I stop myself, I tell whoever I am talking to that, "I almost lied to you." This stops me from following through with my lie.

I'm slowly apologizing to all of my friends for all of this lying and they have considerable amounts of tolerance.

bushy: I do like poetry, but I can't write *for* a girl. I write what I write, you know? Thanks, though.

Thank you everyone, for all of your constructive criticism. I never expected to find such maturity on &totse.

quote:Originally posted by MrVitrol:

u look older than 17 and u look like a hamster.

LMFAO!

BTW, you always have a promising career as a politician....

-Extant

Something about you smacks of "young Agent Smith/Hugo Weaving", but maybe it's just me (Not trying to be a dick).