We're just close friends with benefits and it's killing me. We argue sometimes because she gets these mood swings and then we dont talk for like a week cuz im pist at her. Things have turned so stupid that she feels that she only wants me "sexually", SHIT MAN. I wouldnt give a fuck, but i REALLY do care about her and she definitely does too, so its hard to just use a good friend. I'm startin to look into other chicks, but i think i should just think wit my dick and have my fun with her......I was thinking fuck-buddies... but I really don't know what to do.. I really wanna go out with this gurl... Does anyone think that if we start having our fun, she'd def want to be an item only with me?

http://www.totse.com/bbs/Forum4/HTML/006974.html

Edit: Oops, that thread has been pruned, don't bother clicking. So make good posts here and we'll archive this thread. Thanks!

[This message has been edited by deadlycindy (edited 04-25-2004).]

Anology time:

think of love or affection and all that goes with it as a cake:

Size of the piece of cake determines how much love and affection you have for the person you're thinking about. Amount of frosting determines how much lust or sexual pleasure that person has for the other.

We all know that on a good piece of cake, there is also a good ratio of actual cake to frosting. However, in the case of a fuckbuddy (which i sometimes believe in, depending on my mood and/or sexual status) this is rare.

In general, one person, with precise measurement, will always have a bigger piece of cake in the long run, and one person will have the more frosting.

Look at those, and see who has more cake vs. who has more frosting, then see who is eating more calories over all.

Maybe you don't get this, but it always helps me.

haven't you seen that episode of seinfeld when jerry and elaine tried to be fuck buddies they even put rules down and they ended up going out becuase you get attached usually the women do they just can't keep it separate like guys can.but if you want to go out with her than do so because she probably wants too to and a best freind as you girlfriend how can you go wrong to me thats a good ass combo.

quote:Originally posted by aym118:

haven't you seen that episode of seinfeld when jerry and elaine tried to be fuck buddies they even put rules down and they ended up going out becuase you get attached usually the women do they just can't keep it separate like guys can.but if you want to go out with her than do so because she probably wants too to and a best freind as you girlfriend how can you go wrong to me thats a good ass combo.



what if you went out first and then realized at the time a relationship wouldn't work? except the sex was awesome?

Female attachment isn't the only reason "fuck buddies" don't work. Unless you're a total scumbag, you're not going to be fucking your buddy while you're with another girl. Which means you're not fulfilling your end of the fucking contract. So when you decide to stop fucking, it's going to be like you're breaking up. Tell me, is it really just fucking if you have to "break up" at the end of the relationship?

quote:Originally posted by theBishop:

Female attachment isn't the only reason "fuck buddies" don't work. Unless you're a total scumbag, you're not going to be fucking your buddy while you're with another girl. Which means you're not fulfilling your end of the fucking contract. So when you decide to stop fucking, it's going to be like you're breaking up. Tell me, is it really just fucking if you have to "break up" at the end of the relationship?



well, no ... damn just kinda realized i should listen to my own initial comment that FWBs are a stupid idea.

quote:Originally posted by iamtheRiver:

Anology time:

think of love or affection and all that goes with it as a cake:

Size of the piece of cake determines how much love and affection you have for the person you're thinking about. Amount of frosting determines how much lust or sexual pleasure that person has for the other.

We all know that on a good piece of cake, there is also a good ratio of actual cake to frosting. However, in the case of a fuckbuddy (which i sometimes believe in, depending on my mood and/or sexual status) this is rare.

In general, one person, with precise measurement, will always have a bigger piece of cake in the long run, and one person will have the more frosting.

Look at those, and see who has more cake vs. who has more frosting, then see who is eating more calories over all.

Maybe you don't get this, but it always helps me.

Umm im afraid, that made sence.

quote:Originally posted by aym118:

haven't you seen that episode of seinfeld when jerry and elaine tried to be fuck buddies they even put rules down...

Hilarious episode, and a good example. "This, That, and The Other Thing".

This=friendship; That=sex; The Other Thing=Committment. Jerry and Elaine couldn't see why they couldn't have "This and That" without "The Other Thing". It went along for a few days until Elaine wigged out and exclaimed "I NEED the Other Thing!" But she couldn't explain why.

quote:Originally posted by deadlycindy:

Hilarious episode, and a good example. "This, That, and The Other Thing".

This=friendship; That=sex; The Other Thing=Committment. Jerry and Elaine couldn't see why they couldn't have "This and That" without "The Other Thing". It went along for a few days until Elaine wigged out and exclaimed "I NEED the Other Thing!" But she couldn't explain why.

why? because shes an idiot. you can most certainly be fuck buddies. you have to be a goddamn idiot not to be able to pull it off. you fuck, you go home. the end.

you can pull it off for a little bit, but eventually it will fail.

seinfeld rules.

Sexual Friendships RULE!!!.

quote:Originally posted by aym118:

haven't you seen that episode of seinfeld when jerry and elaine tried to be fuck buddies they even put rules down and they ended up going out becuase you get attached usually the women do they just can't keep it separate like guys can.

I have to disagree really, the girl mite be screwing around and just not verbalising it

You could just simply put down the rule, that when one of you want a relationship you stop fucking. No breaking up if it's just ending the sex. As long as you think you can both pull off having sex without a relationship and keep your close friendship going even when it ends, it's all good. If you can see a problem with that then it won't work. I personaly couldn't see something like that working in a long term basis, so I would recomend choosing one of the two, close friendd or sex.

Fuck buddies work if you dont get emotionally connected. When I had one it was great because I don't need all that commitment, it's too much hard work and I'm lazy. Then we just grew out of it and we are still friends. Good Times. But you have to get someone who can seperate love and sex, and not many people can do that.

It worked for me. Me and my friend would always hook up. We never really talked about it, it just always kinda happened. I think that because we didn't really talk about it, there was no relationship-type feelings.

We stopped doing it, and now she's going out with my friend. I'm not jealous or mad at all or anything really. I'm happy for him. It's not akward and me and her are still good friends.

I still don't recommend it if you get attached easily,

~Mike

yeah...the problem, i think, with fuck buddies is that if one of you gets emotionally attached, and the other doesnt, problems come about. Like, if she wants a relationship and you just want a good fuck, whats gonna happen? her heart will be broken, you'll lose a good friend [because it is VERY hard to get back what you had before], and you'll feel guilty because she's your friend. If it wasnt a CLOSE friend, things might be different. But i've discovered that things just go wrong when you're that close.

Having a fuck buddy will work as long as you have the right mindset. I have a girl that I fuck at least once a week, she just comes over and things lead to sex; other than that we don't talk at school, online, or anything.

Bullshit fuck buddies don't last on a long term basis. I'll use my best friend as my evidence. He went out with a chick for about 3 weeks in july, they broke up. To this day, they are still fuck buddies.

He says he want's something new, but every girl he says likes him, doesn't like him like that. How I know, is because thay always go for me. Maybe its because I'm more of a dumbass.