I am bored

Might as well

My dick is so big It only plays arenas

My dick is so big it has its own dick and its dick is bigger than your dick.

HAHA



MY DICK IS SO HUMUNGOUS THAT I USE IT FOR A HAT!1!!

That was dumb, but well overdue.

My dick is so big that.... Actually, its not incredibly big. Actually, its size is pretty average. Oh well, no big dick jokes for me.

I always do the "Hold on a sec while I scratch my balls" then I reach down and itch my knee...

quote:Originally posted by NewRage:

I always do the "Hold on a sec while I scratch my balls" then I reach down and itch my knee...

I love that joke

I also hate to admit it but it does make people laugh I will say "hold on a minute while I scratch my balls" and then reach in my girls friends purse and move my hands around some and then say " ok please continue"

Yeah, I usually don't get any those nights

My dick is so big its got its own Zip code!

My dick is so big it lives in my shoes!

my dick is so big IT JUST IS! HA

PEACE

My dick is so big it's diameter is ummm equator Beleeee dat

quote:Originally posted by Silent1Mark:

I love that joke

I also hate to admit it but it does make people laugh I will say "hold on a minute while I scratch my balls" and then reach in my girls friends purse and move my hands around some and then say " ok please continue"

Yeah, I usually don't get any those nights

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA

my dick is so big when i dont have a ruler a use my cock to measure 1metre increments.

My dick is so wide i use a hot air balloon as a condom!

My dick is so long when i turn around ya'll have to duck!

My dick is so big i use it as a leg!

runnin out of material here

A mouse was sneaking around the woods and came upon an elephant caught in a hunters trap.

The mouse was turning to leave when the elephant called out to him.

"Please help me." she said.

"Why should I help you? You elephants are always squashing my kind, piss off!" the mouse replied.

"I'll do anything if you'll help me." pleaded the elephant.

"anything?" asked the mouse?

The elephant noticed his sly tone and hesitated. Just then she heard the hunter far away chopping his way through the jungle. Realizing that becoming a bunch of letter opener handles is probably worse than anything the mouse could think of, she agreed.

"Yes, Anything." she said reluctantly.

So the mouse chews through the ropes, releasing the elephant. She thanks him and starts to walk away.

"Wait a minute." Says the mouse.

The elephant winces and stops walking.

"You forgot about your end of the deal."

"ok, what do you want me to do?"

"I want you to let me fuck you." Says the mouse.

The elephant is like:"Gasp, that's awful, but you did save my life..."

So the mouse climbs up to the elephants rear end. He's all spread-eagle across her ass, holding onto her tail so he doesnt fall. Then he starts working away, pump, pump, pump.

Just then a coconut falls out of a tree and hits the elephant square on the head.

"OUCH" sobs the elephant.

And the mouse says "Thats right, take it all, bitch."

quote:Originally posted by Aimrehtopyh:

A mouse was sneaking around the woods and came upon an elephant caught in a hunters trap.

The mouse was turning to leave when the elephant called out to him.

"Please help me." she said.

"Why should I help you? You elephants are always squashing my kind, piss off!" the mouse replied.

"I'll do anything if you'll help me." pleaded the elephant.

"anything?" asked the mouse?

The elephant noticed his sly tone and hesitated. Just then she heard the hunter far away chopping his way through the jungle. Realizing that becoming a bunch of letter opener handles is probably worse than anything the mouse could think of, she agreed.

"Yes, Anything." she said reluctantly.

So the mouse chews through the ropes, releasing the elephant. She thanks him and starts to walk away.

"Wait a minute." Says the mouse.

The elephant winces and stops walking.

"You forgot about your end of the deal."

"ok, what do you want me to do?"

"I want you to let me fuck you." Says the mouse.

The elephant is like:"Gasp, that's awful, but you did save my life..."

So the mouse climbs up to the elephants rear end. He's all spread-eagle across her ass, holding onto her tail so he doesnt fall. Then he starts working away, pump, pump, pump.

Just then a coconut falls out of a tree and hits the elephant square on the head.

"OUCH" sobs the elephant.

And the mouse says "Thats right, take it all, bitch."





.....gay

My dick is 5 centimeters!



FIVE CENIMETERS FROM THE GROUND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

quote:Originally posted by Jesus is tha Shiznik:

My dick is 5 centimeters!



FIVE CENIMETERS FROM THE GROUND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



You just reminded me of a crazy Vietnam vet who used to live in my friend's neighborhood.

He'd get in trouble with the cops by sitting on his porch, yelling to passerby, "MY dick touches the ground! Does YOURS?"

He, of course, had no legs, so that really wasn't saying much.

*thud* (http://www.geocities.com/irrationalpiman/penisQM.html)

quote:Originally posted by Graberweg:

*thud* (http://www.geocities.com/irrationalpiman/penisQM.html)

HOLY FUCKING SHIT.

quote:Originally posted by devilsAngel:

HOLY FUCKING SHIT.

Yes Indeedy

The dry cleaning but no one cares

quote:Originally posted by Psychotogen:

HAHA



MY DICK IS SO HUMUNGOUS THAT I USE IT FOR A HAT!1!!

That was dumb, but well overdue.



That has to be the funniest one here.,

MY DICK IS SO LARGE THAT ITS SUPER SIZE LIKEA EXTRA VALUE MEAL!!!11!

WANT SOEM MORE?



MY SCHLONG IS SO LONGL THAT WHEN I PULLED IT OUT YOUR MOM SAID OW CAUSE I HIT HER IN THE NOSE !!!1!!

quote:Originally posted by Graberweg:

*thud* (http://www.geocities.com/irrationalpiman/penisQM.html)

Thats easy in photoshop, stupid kids,

quote:Originally posted by bushy:

Thats easy in photoshop, stupid kids,

be that as it may, still a rather er, surprising picture

Whenever life gets you down

Keeps you wearing a frown

And the gravy train has left you behind

And when you're all out of hope

Down at the end of your rope

And nobody's there to throw you a line

If you ever get so low that you don't know which way to go

Come on and take a walk in my shoes

Never worry bout a thing

Got the world on a string

Cus I've got the cure for all of my blues (all of his blues)

I take a look at my enormous penis

And my troubles start a-meltin' away

I take a look at my enormous penis

And the happy times are coming to stay

I got a sing and a dance when I glance in my pants

And the feeling's like a sunshiney day

I take a look at my enormous pe-e-e-nis

And everything is goin' my way...

--Da Vinci Notebook