Okay, I've never been in a serious relationship before. I have, however, had a serious crush on this one girl for quite some time. Over two years, to be exact. By the time I got enough nerve to ask her out, it was too late. She already had a boyfriend. I still consider myself to be in love with her, but I do not see myself with her in the near future. That, until the past two or three months, has been the only problem. There's more, though.

Although I am still in love with Girl A, I have recently begun to notice her best friend. I find myself feeling the same way toward her as I do toward Girl A. Girl B I feel I have a better chance with, but probably not much of one. She does have another guy who she has feelings for, I believe.

Now is where I need help. I feel like an asshole for loving two girls in the first place, and like an even bigger one for feeling this way about girls who already have boyfriends. I know Girl A knows how I feel about her, but Girl B does not to my knowledge. I am close friends with both of them, but I also don't want to wreck the friendship. Its hard as hell being in this situation, and I feel as if I need advice. Any advice on what I can do?

I really hope that you aren't interested in Girl B only as a way to vicariously date Girl A. (If that makes any sense?)

Man, if you're really tight friends with them, then it's not worth it to date either of them because good friendships are harder to come across than relationships.

If I were you, I would just keep a good friendship with the both of them, unless you think that you could hold a great relationship and come out as friends, which is a little unlikely but nevertheless possible.

Remember though that the risk of losing friendship is higher if you ask them out.

Unless the only reason you're good friends with them is because you want to go out with them (bad, bad strategy) I wouldn't ask either one out.

Edit: Wow, that was your first post? Congrats on not sounding like you're in an aol chat room.

[This message has been edited by cashual21 (edited 03-23-2004).]

Ouch, that sucks, but you have to make up your mind sometime.



All in favor of a forum dedicated to "Teen Love" say Aye.

ummm... aye, but i belive it would be alot of posts with complex stories like this one, which have no real answer from another person

btw, close friends turned lovers works rather well in my experiance, but i ended up hating the guys they dated after me, even though i still love them (as close friends)

quote:Originally posted by cashual21:

Man, if you're really tight friends with them, then it's not worth it to date either of them because good friendships are harder to come across than relationships.

If I were you, I would just keep a good friendship with the both of them, unless you think that you could hold a great relationship and come out as friends, which is a little unlikely but nevertheless possible.

Remember though that the risk of losing friendship is higher if you ask them out.

Unless the only reason you're good friends with them is because you want to go out with them (bad, bad strategy) I wouldn't ask either one out.

Edit: Wow, that was your first post? Congrats on not sounding like you're in an aol chat room.

[This message has been edited by cashual21 (edited 03-23-2004).]



Do not take this advice. Think of it this way. Lose out on what could be the greatest thing in your life by doing nothing, and keep her as a freind, or get everything you ever dreamed of and more.

A lot of people say that relationships with freinds dont work, but I know thats bullshit from experiance. Actually, the relationships are a lot better. Just watch yourself for fights about stupid shit that you would normally lie to another girl about. Your freind would know you better than to believe you on something she's been through with you already. I'm tellin you give it a shot. But dont date her freind. Just hold out. And dont fuck up her relationship she's in now. be a shoulder. And after they break up wait a few weeks and start hangin out with her more and more then tell her you love her. Thats my advice.

Hi, Mr. Black Mage Vivi:

Hate to tell you this, but I don't think you are in big "L" Love at all!! To tell you the truth, I'm not sure it exists....(except maybe for very old, broken and sorry people)....but even if it does, I think you're not in it!! I think you are just doubly infatuated, and conflicted....that's all. You want one girl to be yours, exclusively, as the target of your infatuation......and you don't know what to do.....that's all.

If I am right, since you are attracted to them both, you should just pick the one that you have the best chance to be exclusive with, and go for it!! And don't worry about the fact she has another "relationship" right now. Cut in, and take her out!!! That's the way it's supposed to work!! Being too much of a "Mr. Nice Guy" can leave you in the dust. Love, Venus.

quote:Originally posted by pretty pinay:

Hi, Mr. Black Mage Vivi:

Hate to tell you this, but I don't think you are in big "L" Love at all!! To tell you the truth, I'm not sure it exists....(except maybe for very old, broken and sorry people)....but even if it does, I think you're not in it!! I think you are just doubly infatuated, and conflicted....that's all. You want one girl to be yours, exclusively, as the target of your infatuation......and you don't know what to do.....that's all.

If I am right, since you are attracted to them both, you should just pick the one that you have the best chance to be exclusive with, and go for it!! And don't worry about the fact she has another "relationship" right now. Cut in, and take her out!!! That's the way it's supposed to work!! Being too much of a "Mr. Nice Guy" can leave you in the dust. Love, Venus.

Anyone who doubts love should read this book. Its called "The Celestine Prophecy". He's giving her his energy, thus making her better.

I had an explination but I forgot it ..... So much for this post, just read the book.

xannex: I'm not really sure what you mean by that, but I genuinely love both girls as both friends and that other way as well. I wouldn't want to hurt either of them.

cashual: Yeah, thats what I was thinking I would probably have to do, but I still want a closer relationship with both. I have been friends with both for quite some time, though. Concerning the grammar, I seem to be one of the few on the internet that values it nowadays

Psychotogen: Thanks, but as I said, I'm pretty sure the first girl knows how I feel about her. That might change things a bit. We're still good friends, though, and she doesn't seem angry at all about how I feel about her.

pretty pinay: No.

are you sure you LOVE them both? do you know them? do you mean that you like the look of them as opposed to actually being in love with them?