Trying to make a long story short, I was going out with this girl I like a lot, and she liked me. Before I asked her out, I wanted to know if she needed anymore time for anything. I was just trying to be nice, and not rush everything on her. Well, we were dating for a few days, and I heard from a friend of mine, (I will call him Peter) that she talked to another friend of mine (I will call him Jason) for a few hours that night when we officially started dating. She told Jason that she wasnt sure if she should have said yes, along with some other crap.

Im assuming that she liked Jason more, because she broke up with me about three days after we started dating and would always bug Jason to go out with her. She would spend nights in his room, and everyone knew that she was all over Jason, all the time.

Jason was playing games with another girl, and he had them both wrapped around his finger. Finally, Jason told her (the girl that I went out with) that he didnt want anything to do with her. Maybe you guessed it, but she is all up my ass now, wanting to hang out again. She tells me that she is a "stupid fuckup" for doing that to me, and she is sorry and all of this shit. She also tells me that she was really happy when she was with me, that I always made her laugh and she felt comfortable and safe around me.

What should I do in this situation? She keeps asking me if there is a second chance for her, and a few of her friends tell me that she deserves a second chance. I still like her a lot, but I am helpless right now, also because I found out from her that when they talked that night and told him that stuff, he pretty much said "why are you going out with him when you could be with me". Those werent his exact words, but that is what he meant. Jason and I are still really good friends, and I have no damn idea what to do about anything.

I guess this wasnt so short, so anyone who read through this post, I appreciate your time, and thanks for and advice because I greatly need it right now.

I'm guessing that you don't have any sort of intense emotional attatchment to her, judging from the short time you spent dating.

It seems to me that she just wants a boyfriend. Perhaps for some sort of social reason. But there doesn't seem to be any feelings evident, and if that's the case then you should probably just let her go.

Also, I hope that you don't let a girlfriend of 3 days come between your friendship with this Jason character.

Well, in this situation, it sounds like she doesn't care about you as much as that other guy. Maybe she just doesn't want to be alone, or maybe she just wants to make Jason jealous. I don't know. Or maybe she is truthful, but from what it sounds like, it's highly doubtful. But, everyone deserves a second chance. I say, give her a go again, and if anything happens, break it off.

seems like all she really wants/needs is some attention/affection and not really a person to relate to or basically to have a real relationship, i'd say not to go out with her because she is not sincere about it. once someone new and interesting (to her) comes along she will probably dump you again.

Xannex - I really dont have any intense attachment to her, but its like...she is perfect, to me atleast. Any attachment that I have to her is becuse of the month and a half we were good friends, doing something almost everyday.

Memorex - I brought this up to her (she doesnt like me more than "Jason") and she said that "she might have liked him more, but she realizes that she would be much happier with me because of the games he plays".

Devil - That could be really possible because I would go over there, and she always wanted to cuddle and talk. Now, I dont have a problem with that at all, but we never really had a chance to talk/do other stuff that couples do.

Should I bring it up to her, face to face that I think she doesnt really want a true relationship, just someone to hold her and talk (but what would doing that get her?), or maybe that she even wants to make "Jason" jealous?

quote:Originally posted by almightyares:



Devil - That could be really possible because I would go over there, and she always wanted to cuddle and talk. Now, I dont have a problem with that at all, but we never really had a chance to talk/do other stuff that couples do.

Should I bring it up to her, face to face that I think she doesnt really want a true relationship, just someone to hold her and talk (but what would doing that get her?), or maybe that she even wants to make "Jason" jealous?

what "other stuff that couples do"??

you'd be surprised what someone to hold you and talk to can do, that's usually the main thing people miss in a relationship is the affection and physical ness because you realize you can talk to someone and not have to do physical stuff with them. some people just like to feel cared for/adored in some way or another. if that's all either of you wants then it's fine, but eventually one of you is gonna want something more/different or get tired of it so. do what you want, everything in life is a learning experience.

[edit] main thing is, don't expect too much too soon or whatever, you have to get to know her better and she has to get to know you better. if it turns out that she does want a real relationship, then awesome but it really doesn't and even worse if she's just using you to get someone else jealous. she sounds like she needs to grow up a bit and learn to not toy with peoples' minds to get what she wants.

[This message has been edited by devilsAngel (edited 03-22-2004).]

How old are you? god get a fucking life, its highschool damn it you shouldnt try to be all emotional ( or at least more emotional than you already are)... aww fuck it its been said to many times.

quote:Originally posted by bushy:

How old are you? god get a fucking life, its highschool damn it you shouldnt try to be all emotional ( or at least more emotional than you already are)... aww fuck it its been said to many times.

Do us all a favor and shut the hell up. Stop trying to bring somebody down, he feels bad enough. Besides, all you post is complete shit, so you should be one to talk.



almightyares, if you think she's perfect... you probably are attached to her. In that case, you really should consider your feelings before hers. If you're just going to get hurt again, then don't give her a second chance. That would be my guess, but you know what's best for you.

im just saying that its not a big fucking deal, hes just a hormone filled tennie booper

EDIT: OMG i just said teenie booper

[This message has been edited by bushy (edited 03-22-2004).]

I appreciate all of the advice except for bushy.

A "Hormone filled teeny bopper" is what I am, huh? I am not a teeny bopper...I am 19, almost 20 years old. Haha, High School? Sorry buddy, I gradumatated almost a full year ago, so this is past High School bullshit. Since when did I say it was a big fucking deal? I was just looking for some advice because I am confused. If you have a problem, go to B&M.