A few days ago my girlfriend told me she'd been raped. I'd been wondering for ages why she'd act so erratically when I hold her or kiss her so that fell into place.

I know who the guy is but since she's only decided to tell her mother, best friend and me about it I can hardly beat the shit out of him (that'd raise too many questions and bring it to light).

I feel really weird around her now, her best friend told me that my gf really loves me but I'm not sure.

I can't see how we can have a relationship where she's afraid of me, or afraid of what might happen to her again, even a hug makes her feel uneasy.

I really like her, she's one of the nicest people I've ever met and I care for her too much to say it's over (though it'd be easier for me) and I can't see how we could ever progress as a couple.

Just had to get that off my chest, any advice would be appreciated.

That's a fucked up thing to have happen to a woman. You should be there for her in whatever capacity she needs of you. Don't be pushy or too in her face, just offer her your support. It's only natural for her to feel "off" towards you after what happened. It'll pass.

As for the guy who did it... if your GF and her mother feel the need to NOT report him to the police you don't have much choice but to follow along with that, or lose all her trust. If you make it a point to concentrate on him instead of her, that's exactly how she'll take it, that you're more concerned about beating the shit out of someone than caring about how she's feeling. You wouldn't think so but that's the way it works.

Be there to support her, don't abandon her thinking things will never work out. Good luck....

-Extant

Well when she is ready, you need the pigs help.

But bash the living fuck out of him, say she stole your money. Plant some on him.

Rape his mum, se how he feels

My sympathies to you. If you love her you would get her to call the cops. These fucking rapists must be brought to justice. If somehow the cops cannot bring justice, you seriously must do it. Chloroform + rag + baseball bat = sweeet rape revenge.

FUCK HIM UP!!!

But make sure nobody knows it was you (which avoids all the questions)... Wait near his home at night (do I have to say: skimask?) and fuck him up...

Honestly, if I knew somebody would have done that to my gf, I'll go mad, berserk on him!

--SEmper

You should have already killed this motherfucker,and you should now be with your girlfriend helping her how ever you can.So what ime saying is man up dont be a bitch and do what you need to do.

quote:Originally posted by casperc:

You should have already killed this motherfucker

Like you can talk, you fucking rapist.

u should feed that guys balls thru a meet grinder and when people start to question just say ur making hamburgers for home-ec.

Alright, I'll give this from a personal point of view:

I have an intense fear of being "touched" [Not groped, but in an affectionate way, cuddling and such], most people will be immidietly hit/kicked if they try, it's just a first reaction. I can ignore those feelings by thinking something like 'Just sex, just ignore it', etc, but it does get the better of me sometimes.

Things like these take alot of trust and patience; I love my fiance cuddling me, I feel comfortable with him, but it took him a helluva lot of time to get to that point with me. I mean, completly comfortable cuddling/touching.

If you act awkward around her now, she's going to withdraw from you further, that's all that'll happen. Support is good, friendship is good, she's got to feel comfortable with you...

G'luck man, just g'luck.

My own g/f was not only abused as a child but also was raped last year. When she first told me I thought it took alot for her to trust me enough to tell me as again she hadnt told too many and certainly told nobody what she did me. Anyway she had been talking about us being intimate and all and that Id be her first since when she got here (for those unaware we met via the net and only met in person 3 weeks ago) anyway she was going to be a bit cagy is what she thought and she said Id need to be gentle and give her time.

Now as I said "Take all the time you need" I mean I loved this girl before we met or ever touched so sex was never going to be the most important part of our relationship. Anyway when we did get intimate things went ok and she was very comfortabble up until we had full penetretive sex. Then she lasted a minute before I realised something was wrong and so I stopped and sort of pulled away and sat on the edge f the bed apologising and all. I told her she had nothing to apologise for and that we didnt have to do anything she wasnt happy with. Anyway I myself was abused as a child and so I suppose I could in a way understand waht she was going through and I just love her so much i didnt want to make her feel bad for not being able to have sex with me because of what some animal did.

She was still a bit nervous a while later but she wanted to make love and so we sort of went at her pace and she was in control and well we had a very very very good time when the wime was right. And things continued to get better and better for the duration of her stay.

Anyway all I can say is that if she loves you and if you do really love her you will support her and give her thetime and space needed for her to become more comfortable with you. I mean its not her fault what happened and these things can take a heavy toll on the victim.