There is this guy I'm into. Older by like 3 years. He thinks I'm hot and he knows I think he's hot as well. We tossed around the idea of dating, but he wasn't feeling it as much as me. His reasoning was that he can't date a girl with short hair. Recently we've been chatting and he wants to go screw around with me. I've agreed, but we've yet to find a day where we're both free. If he can't go out with me cause of my hair, how can he screw around with me? I mean, the hair is still there...and if we dated we'd still screw around, probably even go all the way, and he knows it. I know he's not using me cause he's not that type of guy. He told me he's looking for a serious relationship so it's not like he doesn't like commitment or anything. Oh and also he's a virgin. But he has screwed around with girls before so it's not like he's done nothing! I am a lot more experienced though, since I have screwed arond with many guys, but I am also a virgin. Oh and we're really good friends. What do you think is going through his head right now? Do you think that if he can screw around with me, that in the future we'll go out? He is really serious about the hair thing though, so I'm quite hesitant as to what to do. If I screw around with him does that ruin all chance of us becoming a couple? Do you think that if I only agree to screw around if we're dating, that he'll date me? It's worked for people I know before...and they had like 2 month relationships. Or do you think he'd just be like "fine w/e" and it'd end up being one of those lose-lose situations, where I don't get to date him AND I don't get to screw around with him?

Paragraphs help. How short is your hair? If it's like shaved or anything close maybe I can understand his not wanting a girl with short hair. If it's shoulder short or something a little shorter then I dunno wtf his problem is. Unless he just wants to fuck around with you and not have any string attached. Try to find the real reason why he doesn't want a girl with short hair.

I'm black so my hair is like short and curly kinda like an afro but not a gigantic one.

And of course it grows up right, so I have no clue how to measure it. He does want a serious relationship though, very much, he told me. And he loves my body and my personality. He said he doesn't like short hair cause he likes long flowing hair that he can run his hands through. But the stupidest thing is, this other black chic I'm friends with, doesn't have hair that much longer than mine, yet he would date her no prob. And her body is NOTHING compared to mine. So I'm kinda like WTF.

Wear a wig...what does screw around actually mean? To me it means casual sex...

If he doesn't want you because of the length of your hair then I think he's shallow in the head...

ok, i have a general idea as to what this guy may be thinking (i, myself, follow under the same criteria when it comes to sexual relations), but a slight difference - i'm bi. but anywho, i shall throw in my 2 cents worth..

no matter the girl's hair-style, there are a few things you should consider. does he have any fetishes, fantasies, other strange obscure random informational things that you can use to your advantage? another, if he wants to screw around, get him to define that. for me, "screwing around" means literally going all the way. "goofing off" may be, for my books, what yer talkin' about (PDA, "vampire bites", frenching.. so on). if you think that yes, he'd just want to goof off, then go for it i guess. i dunno, if he has issues with how you look, he ain't worth it. i, for one, go for what i have in common with my "partner" (likes/dislikes)

Shalakai

If you think about it, Hell has frozen over a couple hundred times. AND Canada has the self-destruct button for the world. Something for you kiddies to think about

By screwing around, I mean, anything but actually fucking.

ok i to have a thing about the legnth of a girls hair i just cant stand short hair on a girl that i'm sexually involved with or that i am emotionally involved with i dont know call it stupid but i think that it is one of the most important features on a woman and i can see where he's coming from but if your friends hair is the same but just a little longer then he is lying he just doesnt like you in that way he just thinks your body is good and wants to fool around and thats fine so just do it screw around might as well what you can while you can

Holy shit. I need to get around here more and start cracking the whip before you kids start believing even more of this insanity.

He won't date you because you have short hair? Ok, fine, I've seen shallower bullshit than that (although not by much), but then you say he's not using you? He's not that kind of guy? Yes, he is that kind of guy, and that's exactly what he's doing. He might be telling himself he's not, but deep down he knows he is. That's the good possibility. The bad one is that he's going to tug you around on a string until he's bored and decides to cut you loose.

How do you know he's a virgin? Did he tell you that? Probably not, you've probably heard it around, right? I don't buy it. I usually try to err on the side of giving people the benefit of the doubt, but I can't fathom a way in which you're not going to wind up getting abused by the situation, if not consciously and purposefully by the guy himself. This is bad, bad, bad juju here, and the worst part is that the best I can hope for you is that you learn your lesson the hard way on the first try and don't keep letting it happen over and over.

how is that hard to understand? you are good for a fuck and thats about it. you arent worth him giving up his life to a relationship hed feel ashamed of. however your pussy trumps masturbation.

He's a teenage boy, with a girl who will mess around with him for nothing. what is he thinking? god if you need help figuring this, you need to step out of the game and just reevaluate.

your getting used...plain and simple. He doesnt want a relationship with you, because your hair isnt what he's into (just to let you know, this is shite...utter shite...he just doesn't want to be with you), but he'll mess around with you. Your not even getting used for sex. Darlin, stay away from this guy.

If you are as you said somewhere else on this board, you will have NO trouble finding a man. It's not worth even thinking about.

Why buy the cow if you get the milk for free? It's kinda true...sorry. Yeah, you are going to ruin the chances of being a couple, but it sounds like he doesn't want to be a couple with you anyways.

If i were you, i would just totally get away from this guy. He will lead you into something bad. Aren't you 15 or something? If he is 18, wants to fuck you, and claims to be your friend, he's lying about the latter. Get out of it.

Thanks for using the words bad juju, spiffy. I was in a rather icky mood, and that made me smile.

quote:Originally posted by aloneandbroken:

He's a teenage boy, with a girl who will mess around with him for nothing. what is he thinking? god if you need help figuring this, you need to step out of the game and just reevaluate.

your getting used...plain and simple. He doesnt want a relationship with you, because your hair isnt what he's into (just to let you know, this is shite...utter shite...he just doesn't want to be with you), but he'll mess around with you. Your not even getting used for sex. Darlin, stay away from this guy.

If you are as you said somewhere else on this board, you will have NO trouble finding a man. It's not worth even thinking about.

Why buy the cow if you get the milk for free? It's kinda true...sorry. Yeah, you are going to ruin the chances of being a couple, but it sounds like he doesn't want to be a couple with you anyways.

If i were you, i would just totally get away from this guy. He will lead you into something bad. Aren't you 15 or something? If he is 18, wants to fuck you, and claims to be your friend, he's lying about the latter. Get out of it.

Thanks for using the words bad juju, spiffy. I was in a rather icky mood, and that made me smile.

why even bother with cows that dont like milk? fuck this using for sex bullshit. you women need to get over yourselves and your possessive attitudes. its sex, learn to enjoy it.

quote:Originally posted by Spiffy McBang:

Holy shit. I need to get around here more and start cracking the whip before you kids start believing even more of this insanity.

He won't date you because you have short hair? Ok, fine, I've seen shallower bullshit than that (although not by much), but then you say he's not using you? He's not that kind of guy? Yes, he is that kind of guy, and that's exactly what he's doing. He might be telling himself he's not, but deep down he knows he is. That's the good possibility. The bad one is that he's going to tug you around on a string until he's bored and decides to cut you loose.

How do you know he's a virgin? Did he tell you that? Probably not, you've probably heard it around, right? I don't buy it. I usually try to err on the side of giving people the benefit of the doubt, but I can't fathom a way in which you're not going to wind up getting abused by the situation, if not consciously and purposefully by the guy himself. This is bad, bad, bad juju here, and the worst part is that the best I can hope for you is that you learn your lesson the hard way on the first try and don't keep letting it happen over and over.

He is a virgin, he told me so himself. Plus he has only ever had 1 gf that he dated for like 2 years and they didn't have sex even though she asked him too.

aloneandbroken thanks for the advice



[This message has been edited by Aunt Jemima (edited 03-17-2004).]

quote:Originally posted by Spiffy McBang:

Holy shit. I need to get around here more and start cracking the whip before you kids start believing even more of this insanity.

He won't date you because you have short hair? Ok, fine, I've seen shallower bullshit than that (although not by much), but then you say he's not using you? He's not that kind of guy? Yes, he is that kind of guy, and that's exactly what he's doing. He might be telling himself he's not, but deep down he knows he is. That's the good possibility. The bad one is that he's going to tug you around on a string until he's bored and decides to cut you loose.

How do you know he's a virgin? Did he tell you that? Probably not, you've probably heard it around, right? I don't buy it. I usually try to err on the side of giving people the benefit of the doubt, but I can't fathom a way in which you're not going to wind up getting abused by the situation, if not consciously and purposefully by the guy himself. This is bad, bad, bad juju here, and the worst part is that the best I can hope for you is that you learn your lesson the hard way on the first try and don't keep letting it happen over and over.

spiffy is 100% right.listern to him darling

If you want to mess around with him for the sake of messing around, then go for it. If you want to mess around because you feel there is some chance it might lead to more, don't count on it. I don't see how it would increase or decrease your chances of a relationship with any guy.

I mess around with my ex, we still have sex. I feel comfortable with him, relaxed. The sex is pleasurable, it's a good release for both of us, and it's a helluvalot better than going out and sleeping around and more satisfying than wanking. It doesn't enter my mind that our having sex should effect our friendship, or that it'll lead to more. I've disconnected the physical intimacy from the old relationship. It's just filling a physical need, if that's what you plan to do with this guy then go for it.

Seems pretty clear that he just wants to use you, so if you're ok with using him right back then you probably don't stand to get hurt. Keep it simple.

Fuck it, everyone just uses everyone else these days. No-one really ever gives a goddamn.

[This message has been edited by Sarcophagus (edited 03-17-2004).]

Why would you want to go out with someone so shallow?

quote:Originally posted by mrman383:

why even bother with cows that dont like milk? fuck this using for sex bullshit. you women need to get over yourselves and your possessive attitudes. its sex, learn to enjoy it.

Hamburgers.

If you grow a big afro and give me a picture of it I will love you forever. I will be your loving slave in all sexual ways...

Giggidy...

Hahaha! Wow that makes me feel so much better, knowing I have you...

quote:Originally posted by Aunt Jemima:

He is a virgin, he told me so himself. Plus he has only ever had 1 gf that he dated for like 2 years and they didn't have sex even though she asked him too.

aloneandbroken thanks for the advice



[This message has been edited by Aunt Jemima (edited 03-17-2004).]

*sniff sniff* i smell BULLSHIT! When a guy wants to just do stuff, i wouldn't count on him to be honest. Most guys will do/say anything if there's a chance they can get in your pants.

~ES

quote:Originally posted by aloneandbroken:

Thanks for using the words bad juju, spiffy. I was in a rather icky mood, and that made me smile.

I'm here to serve.

quote:Originally posted by Sarcophagus:

Fuck it, everyone just uses everyone else these days. No-one really ever gives a goddamn.

Eh? Having a bad day? Week? Month?

quote:Originally posted by Aunt Jemima:

He is a virgin, he told me so himself. Plus he has only ever had 1 gf that he dated for like 2 years and they didn't have sex even though she asked him too.

And of course, his word makes it true, right? He has the power to shape reality? He states he is a virgin, therefore it is the way of things?

I'll hope and presume you were told by this girl they didn't have sex, not him. I'll also assume she doesn't have any bad intentions and is thus telling you the truth. Even so, you know how much this tells us? He didn't want to have sex with her. That's it. It doesn't mean he hasn't gotten laid. It doesn't mean he won't try to score with you. It means you got the booty he wants, not her.

Like Sarc said, if all you want is to use him back, go right ahead. Nothing's stopping you, least of all him. But you've openly mentioned dating, so that doesn't appear to be where your head is at.

I'll promise you something now, though. He will, if you give him long enough, start telling you that you're the most beautiful girl he's been with, or you've got the finest booty, or you're the sweetest, whatever he's found that you react most favorably to (if he's any good- some guys throw out the same lines at every girl and hope they work). He will do this while you're messing around, having gone a little farther each time you've been together, and he will sway you into spreadin' 'em and taking that dick.

You may notice him doing this. You may not even mind, because at that moment you'll want nothing more than to get fucked like no other. Maybe you'll like it and want to keep it going; in that case, hey, cool. But when he goes back to school and starts bragging about how he racked up another one, totally played you into fucking him, or whatever, don't cry about not having seen it coming. You're warned.