I never post on S&A... But I need a place to vent, so why not!

Anyways, my heartbreaker is about a really close friend... She's a really awsome person to be around with. She's pretty, smart, got great personality, is a good listener/advice giver, and she's a hell of a cook to boot!

Since both of us moved away from home, we've become so attached that you could almost say we're married! (Being in a secluded area away from home will do that I guess...)

The only problem is, suprise surprise, she's taken... By her boyfriend of 4 years, who she only sees 1 day a week... She's also getting married to him this summer.

So what am I bitchin' about? Sure, I could easily woo her and take her from him (trust me, I can); but I love her too much to do such a thing... besides, he's actually a really nice guy. It just kills me that she's with me all week, yet she's his... We do everything together, she always asks me for advice/help, I help her get back home for the weekends (either by driving her, paying a bus ticket, or paying his gas...). Sometimes, I believe that I'm just there to fill the void... which I probably am.

To put the cherry on the cake... Tonight she was talking in a nostalgic "what if" frame of mind... "What if we had met earlier?" I ask myself this question every waking minute of everyday... Tonight was the first time she had ever asked me. I can tell the distance from her fiance is bringing her closer to me... It's to the point that she sleeps over because she's so lonely. We even share the same bed (don't think anything dirty, it never happened ).

She's got somekind of charm that for some reason does this to all her guy friends... She told me. She hates it when her friends fall for her. I guess I have the privilage/curse to be the only friend she has here... I can't tell anymore if she loves me or not... Sometimes I think she does, and others, she doesn't. I'm so confused that I can't tell anymore.

Anyways... This will all end soon... I'm going to be shipped out overseas soon (I'm an infanteer with the Canadian Forces). I hate it that I'm going to leave her, but somehow it's my only solace from somekind of sadistic circle game.



If you read this far, thanks... I know I come off as a total ass hole, but deep down I care about her...



Toodles

quote:Originally posted by Jesus Crust:

I help her get back home for the weekends (either by driving her, paying a bus ticket, or paying his gas...).

Sounds like shes using you.

quote:Originally posted by Jesus Crust:

We even share the same bed (don't think anything dirty, it never happened ).

Sounds like you're related to micheal jackson.

The saddest words

Of tongue or pen

Are these four words:

"It might have been."

quote:Originally posted by DeAtHsTyLe:

Sounds like shes using you.

Meh, whatever... I "use" her just as much. She cooks and cleans for me. I never looked at it in a "I use her/she uses me" way... But I guess you're right.



quote:Originally posted by DeAtHsTyLe:

Sounds like you're related to michael jackson.

Good one, you gave my chuckle for the day



Toodles

quote:Originally posted by Spiffy McBang:

The saddest words

Of tongue or pen

Are these four words:

"It might have been."

Holy shit I might just cry.

I pray that I'll never be as selfless as you.

quote:Originally posted by Spiffy McBang:

The saddest words

Of tongue or pen

Are these four words:

"It might have been."

amen

quote:Originally posted by Local Hero:

I pray that I'll never be as selfless as you.

It's not that I'm selfless... If I was, I wouldn't have bitched about it! It's just that I can't do anything about it... So I guess that's why I look "selfless".