Seriously now, no joke.

Jacking off is a serious thing to me, whether I have a girlfriend or not(I am currently in a 4 year relationship). But anyways, I dont know about you guys but once I run out of one brand I tend to switch to the next. Anyways, I've gone through Jergin, Vasoline Intensive Care, Nivia, and Curel.

Jergins is mediocre, Vasoline Intensive Care smelled like shit, Nivia was just to thick and greasy, and Curel was as well mediocre.

Well, my girl brough over some Victoria's Secret Vanilla Lace lotion, cuz I mean, dood, she knows I jack off like crazy cuz I tell her when she jacks me off like crazy. Well, I was dumbfounded at the fact that she had given me some femenin ass lotion from some bitch store. Man o' man all i gotta say is that shit is so bomb.

Pros:

1.Consistensy is perfect. Not too thick or watery.

2.It is long lasting, and doesn't dry out as quick as the other lotion brands do.

3.It has this very unique extra silky smooth feel to it when your strokin away. It almost makes your hand feel like the real thing!.

4. The scent of Vanilla is an aphrodisiac. Makes me feel extra good: Physical and mental.

5.Relatively inexpensive!

Well, anyways, I'm just trying to say that this lotion works for me, and I dont ever plan on switching brands.

But please feel free to post your guy's recommendations and what works best for you!

Happy Jerkin' and God Speed To You All You Hear!?

KY warming liquid!!!!! That stuff is the shit, it warms on contact, doesn't ahve a smell, or taste really, washes off easily, and stays "lubey" for a long time. Its like 5 bucks american for a 4 oz. bottle I think.

A dab'll do ya. A bottle of it will last a long time. Its also awesome for sex too. Pour some on her clit and rub it around to get it to heat up, and she will start squirming and writhing and moaning and shit.

Lotion/lube is good.

Have you investigated non-lube action? I mean

with smooth/soft fabric? Rayon/nylon/cotton?

Standing up with your chosen cloth...

Thats true too. Also holding the skin, and moving that up and down, that way the friction is on the inside, not the outside. Be careful with that though, if you get to into it, you can chafe. That shit hurts, trust me.

Yeah, well that hurts if you're circumcised...

I just use whatever conditioner is in the shower. Most of them work nicely and last a long time. KY is good too though, but only dry, because it breaks down in water (duh).

im not joking but my girlfriend used this with me but olive oil it is the greatest thing to use

NOOOO shaving cream!!!! thats the shit, use the gel. WOW

I don't use anything.

I am a naturalist!

pert plus

Bath and Body Works makes "Warm Vanilla Sugar' body cream and that is the shit! It smells good and comes in a easy to use bottle. The cream is a nice rich light brown color and its got some 'grit' in it that feels realy good on your dick(ie not compleatly smooth but with a little resistance that feels better)

quote:Originally posted by psycho_8b:

I don't use anything.

I am a naturalist!

quote:Originally posted by Ddog:

im not joking but my girlfriend used this with me but olive oil it is the greatest thing to use



I've seen a lot of olive oil used in porn. But the thing is, how difficult is the clean up?

SHAVING CREAM DAMN IT, it has these numbthings so if you cut your self it dosent hurt as much, it takes a loooong tim if u use shaving cream and it feels sooooo ggooooooooddddd

I use shaving cream in the shower, I shave my pubes, which makes me horny, so I just use whats there. Works out nice.

You should try using Tanning Oil. I use Reef Tanning Oil Lotion, and it's fucking great. It smells like coconuts, a blob to cover a 10c piece/quarter is enough, and it isn't think or runny. It washes off easily and leaves a nice smell of coconut on my hands. Fucking great, 10 out of 10.

quote:Originally posted by Loc Dogg:

You should try using Tanning Oil. I use Reef Tanning Oil Lotion, and it's fucking great. It smells like coconuts, a blob to cover a 10c piece/quarter is enough, and it isn't think or runny. It washes off easily and leaves a nice smell of coconut on my hands. Fucking great, 10 out of 10.



Aha! Do your partners ever refer to you as the man with the harddon baton night stick dick!

Sounds cool, I think ima try that over the summer. A little of that oil on my body, and when no ones looking, smack that stuff on my cock and ejaculate to the soothing serene sound of ocean waves and pelican gawks.

quote:Originally posted by Quantum:

Bath and Body Works makes "Warm Vanilla Sugar' body cream and that is the shit! It smells good and comes in a easy to use bottle. The cream is a nice rich light brown color and its got some 'grit' in it that feels realy good on your dick(ie not compleatly smooth but with a little resistance that feels better)



Yay you know what I'm talking about with that mild and pleasant vanilla scent.

Yes, I know where your going with the resistance. Thats the problem I get when I use KY. Its way too slick and although it feels good, lotion, or something close to that matter allows me to feel more pleasure with that whole resistance thing.

quote:Originally posted by psycho_8b:

I don't use anything.

I am a naturalist!

only true way to be. :-P

quote:Originally posted by psycho_8b:

I don't use anything.

I am a naturalist!

Wow, never thought I'd jump on a band wagon, but I can't go against the truth.

Go Ducky GO!

For those of you who don't use anything, are you cut or not?

I could never do it for more than a minute or so without anything... oww...

quote:Originally posted by jojabr:

For those of you who don't use anything, are you cut or not?

I could never do it for more than a minute or so without anything... oww...

Circumcised, but I don't move my hand the full distance over the shaft, all that needs to be simulated is the lower edge of the penis's head, it is the most sensitive part of the whole penis (on myself, at least).

Bleu cheese dressing; simulates a girl with a yeast infection.



I kid. Right now, I'm using some sort of "Satsuma orange" lotion from The Body Shop; it's good because the initial blob starts to dry out, yes, but see...keep jerking, and it somehow "melts" into this oily, slick, but still not TOO slick substance that lasts forever if you don't let it dry out (by stopping). Also, it smells like oranges and flowers. Not bad.

In desperate times, I've used cooking oil. Cooking oil mixed with any cheapass lotion works nicely - you get the resistance (feels best) of lotion and the longevity of oil, so a dab'll do ya, even if you're jerking for an hour.

But I don't have to jerk anymore; it's always been my personal goal to not masturbate when I'm in a relationship. Makes sex better.

I was jerking a lot while I was dumped/a drug addict, though. I won't forget my last 6-hour Methjerk anytime soon.

-Infrared

Astroglide. As close to the real thing (pussy juice) as you'll ever find in a bottle.

The only prob is that it's water based, so it dries out after a while.

quote:Originally posted by moonmeister:

Lotion/lube is good.

Have you investigated non-lube action? I mean

with smooth/soft fabric? Rayon/nylon/cotton?

Standing up with your chosen cloth...

Sandpaper.

quote:Originally posted by SilentKill:

Sandpaper.



And Superglue!

Another vote for olive oil. Great stuff.

quote:Originally posted by lordsjohnson:

Another vote for olive oil. Great stuff.



Lord Johnson and Johnson Baby Oil, Is there an excessive marginal difference between Olive oil and just plain vegetable oil? How does that feel compared to traditional baby oil.

dont mess with getting sumthing jus hack a big load of snot in ur hand and get busy!



lol jk might want to try kus spit w/o the snot though



mi1es22

quote:Originally posted by UndefinedMinded:

And Superglue!



I Prefer Shards of glass, turns into a lotion soon enough

edible or scented massage oil

quote:Originally posted by UndefinedMinded:



Aha! Do your partners ever refer to you as the man with the harddon baton night stick dick!

Sounds cool, I think ima try that over the summer. A little of that oil on my body, and when no ones looking, smack that stuff on my cock and ejaculate to the soothing serene sound of ocean waves and pelican gawks.

Lmfao. Yeah, maybe I'll just lie under the sun after jerking off so the women can call me Mr. Tall Dark Handsome Cock.

This is a fucked up thread.

quote:Originally posted by Infrared:

Bleu cheese dressing; simulates a girl with a yeast infection.

ahahahaha, that was funny for some reason

ts

i have not read a single post in this bullshit post. why waste time jacking off with lotions when we can save the fun stuff for the ladies. i jack off as fast as i can, i rather have sex at those times but sometimes i cant.

So far we have had:

Victoria's Secret Vanilla Lace Lotion

KY Warming Liquid

Shaving Cream

Pert Plus

Bath and Body

Olive Oil

Tanning Oil

Bleu Cheese Dressing (surprisingly good)

Satsuma Orange

Astrolide

Sandpaper and Superglue

Johnson and Johnson Baby Oil

Snot

Shards of Glass

Massage Oil

quote:Originally posted by UndefinedMinded:



Lord Johnson and Johnson Baby Oil, Is there an excessive marginal difference between Olive oil and just plain vegetable oil? How does that feel compared to traditional baby oil.

Olive oil feels more silky. And there's even a difference in the feeling of different kinds of olive oil. Extra virgin is the most silky.

Most vegetable oils will work. Canola oil works.

Baby oil is petroleum based and has a rougher texture.

A lot of lotions, oils, and products like Astroglide feel good when you first start stroking, but after a minute or so they start to become gummy and thick and lose their slickness. Olive oil and most vegetable oils remain slick and don't gum up.

Most people have olive oil o rosme kind of vegetable oil in their kitchens. So next time you want to get your jerk on rty it out for yourself and see what you think.

I use nothing. Seriously. I am uncircumsised (sp?) so as long as my glans is well lubed up, it's ookie dookie. Fuck the shaft, if it wants to get lubed up, it only has to do it itself.

quote:Originally posted by elf:

So far we have had:

Victoria's Secret Vanilla Lace Lotion

KY Warming Liquid

Shaving Cream

Pert Plus

Bath and Body

Olive Oil

Tanning Oil

Bleu Cheese Dressing (surprisingly good)

Satsuma Orange

Astrolide

Sandpaper and Superglue

Johnson and Johnson Baby Oil

Snot

Shards of Glass

Massage Oil



Lol...LOOK OUT! Its our lube archive?! Anymore suggestions anyone? I heard this guy used to use jello gelatin once. The watermelon kind he liked especially!

quote:Originally posted by jojabr:

Yeah, well that hurts if you're circumcised...

I just use whatever conditioner is in the shower. Most of them work nicely and last a long time. KY is good too though, but only dry, because it breaks down in water (duh).

Hell yeah man I was gonna save Suave conditioner works wonders.

I use moisturizing hand cream to mastrubate. It feels good, has a nice smell, cleans off easily, and stops any skin drying out from mastrubating too much.

I dont use it all the time; I don't want to rely on lube. Besides, I can only use lube outside the bathroom about 0.1 percent of the time, and 95% of the time I have to be quick in the bathroom. What I'm trying to say is a longer, better mastrubation session without lube is better than a quick one with lube.

Its wierd, I get different results with conditioner. True it does feel real silky and smooth and everything, but prolonged use makes my skin too moist, and the skin starts looking and feeling super wierd and shiny even when its dry?!

Crisco cooking oil! Its great!

<A HREF="http://www.crisco.com/images/about/5_1_image.jpg">http://www.crisco.com/images/about/5_1_image.jpg" width="90" height="90 (http://www.crisco.com/images/about/5_1_image.jpg" width="90" height="90)</A>

Im uncircumsized, so i dont use anything...Although there was the time with that handfull of crisco and my left hand... But that was purely experimental...Realy, i promise...

quote:Originally posted by Xtreme:

Crisco cooking oil! Its great!

&lt;A HREF="http://www.crisco.com/images/about/5_1_image.jpg"&gt; <A HREF="http://www.crisco.com/images/about/5_1_image.jpg">http://www.crisco.com/images/about/5_1_image.jpg" width="90" height="90 (http://www.crisco.com/images/about/5_1_image.jpg" width="90" height="90)</A> &lt;/A&gt;

We always had the solid stuff that came in a tub. Mom would get so mad when she'd find it with a bunch of dick-shaped holes in it.

quote:Originally posted by Guswut:

Circumcised, but I don't move my hand the full distance over the shaft, all that needs to be simulated is the lower edge of the penis's head, it is the most sensitive part of the whole penis (on myself, at least).





Yeah. same with all guys. head is the most sensitive.



hehe.. you all missin' out! Turpentine all the way! lol oh god that would hurt..

But I kid. o' natural. dunno about guys but i;m good without anything, and then the pre-cum is a natural lube if you need it. personal opinion entirely. Also, feel free to try out the turpentine

Mineral Turpentine. Live it, love it.