Well it's rare that S&A gets a good topic, so I thought I'd try to help out a little. I found the list entertaining and thought I'd share it. Personally I agree with #50 because a lot of this is common sense gained through experience in relationships. Actually you shouldn't need experience to already know most of this but for entertainment I'm still posting it.

Universal truths that all men should--but don't--understand

1. Saying "I love you" immediately before, during, or following sex doesn't count.

2. Real men drive stick shift.

3. I will leave if you lie.

4. You are cute in raglan-sleeved T-shirts (two-toned baseball undershirts).

5. I'm convinced I'm pregnant and obsess about it for a minimum of 24 to 48 hours before my period, even when I have no rational reason to think so.

6. I love it when you hug me from behind and whisper in my ear.

7. "Fine" is never an appropriate response when I ask you how I look.

8. Most of the time when I fantasize, it's about you.

9. I'm terrified of becoming my mother, even though I admire her.

10. I get turned on simply seeing that I have an e-mail from you.

11. I expect you to call me.

12. Only rock stars are allowed to wear leather pants.

13. I'm scared of losing my independence.

14. I'm more forgiving of you than I really should be.

15. Oral sex is your get-out-of-the-doghouse-free card. Manolo Blahnik shoes also do the trick.

16. You did something bad. I seem cool with it. I'm not. (See directly above.)

17. If I'm not having sex with you, I'm... a. ...having a fat day. b. ...not feeling "connected" to you. c. ...blackmailing you to get something I want.

18. Shoes determine whether you're fashionable or not.

19. I own a Debbie Gibson CD, and I'm not afraid to use it.

20. When I compare my flabby tummy to a kangaroo pouch, say nothing.

21. A man I love plans the occasional fancy-schmancy dress-up date and impromptu weekend getaways, and he buys my favorite candy in advance when we're just going to the movies.

22. You look hot in hooded clothing items.

23. You should never tell me what to do.

24. If I slept over, you owe me breakfast.

25. My breasts love much licking and sucking.

26. If you ask me out directly, I will say yes.

27. I'm very impressed when you ask for my advice.

28. I'm unimpressed with a man who doesn't take the lead.

29. When in doubt, go with the shirt that matches your eye color.

30. I want to be Madonna.

31. Women get urinary-tract infections easily, so watch (and wash) your fingers.

32. I'm in heaven when you hold my hand.

33. You're sexy when you're shaving, fixing things, wearing a white T-shirt and jeans, driving, eating a peach, holding a baby.

34. I need to hear how you feel about me. Often. Tell me now.

35. Surprises, especially gifts for moi = more loving.

36. I want to be the best thing that ever happened to you--and for you to recognize this.

37. If I'm not feeling loved, I will start looking....

38. Discussion of ex-gf's and ex-bf's should be avoided at all times.

39. I like it when you tell me what you're thinking, even if you don't know yourself.

40. Celebrating our anniversary, even if it's only been a few months, earns major bonus points.

41. I love it when you're sweaty.

42. It's best to consult your gal pals for gift ideas.

43. A lady should always be greeted with kisses.

44. I like porn.

45. I love holding your bum in the palms of my hands.

46. Even nice girls like hushed dirty talk in public.

47. It's cheating as soon as you're doing something with her that you wouldn't want me to see, hear, read...

48. For the record: I'd rather you break up with me than cheat.

49. I remember everything about our relationship.

50. You should know all this and more with out my telling you.

Hope you enjoyed it and maybe learned something from it.

and you dare to call the other topics useless?

If this is such a good topic how come there have only been 2 replies now, i dont know why i even botherd to read this.

that is pretty worthless, if you find something better, dont bother to post it.

great thread.wish i'd known some of these things as a kid...would have saved on heartache..read and learn

ps.things girls should know:

1.turn up naked

2.bring beer

3.swallow

Sounds a bit like something from Cosmo or Glamour, but I'm a sucker for those pathetic magazines, so I found this amusing. Why did others find this "worthless"? Because it's stating the obvious, or because it's bullshit? I think most of the list is true, but I'm not sure I want guys to know that stuff 'cause it smacks of neediness.

Anywho, thanks for posting it, Stryker.

22. You look hot in hooded clothing items.

and thats why i love my hoodies

25. My breasts love much licking and sucking

unless your one of the few girls that lactates during their period ( its really nasty)



26. If you ask me out directly, I will say yes

i figured tha out in 7th grade



42. It's best to consult your gal pals for gift ideas.

except that all girls love my presents.



49. I remember everything about our relationship

thats cmplete bull shit, i was talking to my ex gf and i reminded her of a bunch of things that she forgot. i dated her when i was 14

I thought it was great! Many of the things me and my girlfriends talk about

^ Indeed

Number one is not true...I always count it...it's dumb to do so, but most girls dont think that way.

Number 15 is so terrible...If someone bought me Manolo Blahniks just cause they lied about their night or something, I would never stop being excited. I would just do a girly squeal, you would get mad, and then i wouldn't have sex or talk to you because I would be to busy checking out my new godess-shoes.

Number 42 about the gal pals pick the gifts isn't true. The phrase "its the thought that counts" is so true. If you get a girl a great present that she's been telling all her girlfriends about, shes going to know you didn't think about it. A good gift from the heart beats it every time.

Number 50 makes me sad. If guys knew all this, then there would be a lot less to fight about and girls would get bored (so would boys, thinking about it) and relationships would fall apart quick

Cindy, it came from Men's Health, the Cosmo for men

It's worthless and bullshit cause all most of these kids here are the ones who feel that I directed my comments towards them. Sorry but topics like "She said yes now what?!" or "What is the name of your crotch?!" are pretty stupid. Don't forget "Does she like me??"

As was mentioned this is for entertainment purposes but then again most of you are 15 (or have the mentality of one) and are too intimidated by girls to even get in realationships. Or you take the "I'm all about sex approach" and claim to be King Poontang. Funny my comments bothered so many of you losers.

The point of this thread was to provide content. Not asking a questions of the obvious which is what S&A is full of. I'm suprised no one has posted a "How big is yours" thread yet. Usually we get two a month.

This wasn't directed to everyone in this thread just a few of the people. And I don't care if you don't like it as well.

And Bushy, if I find similar related things, I will make sure to post them just because it'll annoy you.

Edit: By the way, this isn't a guide for your relationship. It was a list for entertainment purposes which most of you missed and are taking the list completely serious, not that some things aren't true.

[This message has been edited by Stryker (edited 03-13-2004).]

This is one of the most depressingly stupid things I've ever seen in my life. Of course, I find most pop culture magazines about gender depressingly stupid. People who accept generalizations believe that treating everyone as a truly unique sentient entity is, like, you know, hard and stuff. Of course, the people who *behave* like generalizations instead of finding out their true selves are every bit as much to blame. I know I'm not the target audience for this, but I just have to comment on some things:

quote:Originally posted by Stryker:

15. Oral sex is your get-out-of-the-doghouse-free card. Manolo Blahnik shoes also do the trick.



I was about to say, "I will not be bribed." But really, just replace "shoes" with "a gram or more of the drug of my choice" and the result is the same.

quote:

16. You did something bad. I seem cool with it. I'm not. (See directly above.)



Oh for god's sake. That passive-agressive bullshit pisses me off *every bit as much* as it pisses guys off.

quote:

32. I'm in heaven when you hold my hand.



I dont need to be held on to in public. I'm not a child.

quote:

33. You're sexy when you're shaving, fixing things, wearing a white T-shirt and jeans, driving, eating a peach, holding a baby.



Babies are the antithesis of sexy. They're larvae. Larvae is not sexy.

quote:

34. I need to hear how you feel about me. Often. Tell me now.



I don't think most women are this soul-suckingly needy. If they're over 14, anyway.

quote:

41. I love it when you're sweaty.



*shudder*



***edited for tags

[This message has been edited by Schraff (edited 03-13-2004).]

^^^ I think im in love ^^^^ hehehe

things that birds should know:

1.) its annoying when you say your fat, when youre blatantly not

2.) a blow job is better than a kiss

3.) i dont cum too fast, you cum too fuckin slow

4.) eastenders aint good, neither is coronation street

5.) even if we say our football team is shite, that doesnt give you the right to say they are

6.) no i am not going shopping with you

7.) beer is the only true alcohol

quote:Originally posted by bas_uk:



7.) beer is the only true alcohol

Lightweight :P

But I agree, Coronation street is beyond awful. Luckily, I'm American, so I only catch snippets occasionally on Canadian TV...

i think its really messed up that if guys dont do all of these, their considered horrible boyfriends, but girls can treat you like shit if they want to and then they say its your fault. WTF?, like the if I'm not feeling loved, I will start looking, well why dont you talk about it with me first, maybe I think you feel loved, how about I do the same to you, but now that the shoe is on the other foot you probably wouldnt like it. Sorry if I feel sexist but these sort of things piss me off.

quote:Originally posted by Stryker:

Well it's rare that S&A gets a good topic, so I thought I'd try to help out a little. I found the list entertaining and thought I'd share it. Personally I agree with #50 because a lot of this is common sense gained through experience in relationships. Actually you shouldn't need experience to already know most of this but for entertainment I'm still posting it.

Universal truths that all men should--but don't--understand

1. Saying "I love you" immediately before, during, or following sex doesn't count.

2. Real men drive stick shift.

3. I will leave if you lie.

4. You are cute in raglan-sleeved T-shirts (two-toned baseball undershirts).

5. I'm convinced I'm pregnant and obsess about it for a minimum of 24 to 48 hours before my period, even when I have no rational reason to think so.

6. I love it when you hug me from behind and whisper in my ear.

7. "Fine" is never an appropriate response when I ask you how I look.

8. Most of the time when I fantasize, it's about you.

9. I'm terrified of becoming my mother, even though I admire her.

10. I get turned on simply seeing that I have an e-mail from you.

11. I expect you to call me.

12. Only rock stars are allowed to wear leather pants.

13. I'm scared of losing my independence.

14. I'm more forgiving of you than I really should be.

15. Oral sex is your get-out-of-the-doghouse-free card. Manolo Blahnik shoes also do the trick.

16. You did something bad. I seem cool with it. I'm not. (See directly above.)

17. If I'm not having sex with you, I'm... a. ...having a fat day. b. ...not feeling "connected" to you. c. ...blackmailing you to get something I want.

18. Shoes determine whether you're fashionable or not.

19. I own a Debbie Gibson CD, and I'm not afraid to use it.

20. When I compare my flabby tummy to a kangaroo pouch, say nothing.

21. A man I love plans the occasional fancy-schmancy dress-up date and impromptu weekend getaways, and he buys my favorite candy in advance when we're just going to the movies.

22. You look hot in hooded clothing items.

23. You should never tell me what to do.

24. If I slept over, you owe me breakfast.

25. My breasts love much licking and sucking.

26. If you ask me out directly, I will say yes.

27. I'm very impressed when you ask for my advice.

28. I'm unimpressed with a man who doesn't take the lead.

29. When in doubt, go with the shirt that matches your eye color.

30. I want to be Madonna.

31. Women get urinary-tract infections easily, so watch (and wash) your fingers.

32. I'm in heaven when you hold my hand.

33. You're sexy when you're shaving, fixing things, wearing a white T-shirt and jeans, driving, eating a peach, holding a baby.

34. I need to hear how you feel about me. Often. Tell me now.

35. Surprises, especially gifts for moi = more loving.

36. I want to be the best thing that ever happened to you--and for you to recognize this.

37. If I'm not feeling loved, I will start looking....

38. Discussion of ex-gf's and ex-bf's should be avoided at all times.

39. I like it when you tell me what you're thinking, even if you don't know yourself.

40. Celebrating our anniversary, even if it's only been a few months, earns major bonus points.

41. I love it when you're sweaty.

42. It's best to consult your gal pals for gift ideas.

43. A lady should always be greeted with kisses.

44. I like porn.

45. I love holding your bum in the palms of my hands.

46. Even nice girls like hushed dirty talk in public.

47. It's cheating as soon as you're doing something with her that you wouldn't want me to see, hear, read...

48. For the record: I'd rather you break up with me than cheat.

49. I remember everything about our relationship.

50. You should know all this and more with out my telling you.

Hope you enjoyed it and maybe learned something from it.



[This message has been edited by moss2455 (edited 03-13-2004).]

lol ok post, from a scale of 1 to 10 id have to say 6

~~<jay>~~

i think i'll stick to sluts.

fuck following "rules" to get laid.

fucking women

If you think this list is made to represent even some women in their entirety, you've lost your goddamn mind. The odds that, if you come up with fifty "guidelines" for dealing with a group of people, all fifty of them will apply to even a single member of that group (even one as large as human females) are infinitesimal. Likewise, some of it is true for everyone as well.

The only point for shit like this is to drum up conversation and debate. (In fact, I was going to ask Schraff, you never ever like to hold hands in public, or you just don't "need" it?) You're not supposed to apply it all to the chicks you know. At best, it's food for thought, and may help the utterly clueless and brain-dead get some sort of a start in trying to understand the opposite sex. That's it. That's where the potential positive effect ends. Its much greater effect is to create a mindset in people of "this is how they are" or "this is how we should be", which needs to fucking stop.

And it never will.

God bless the mainstream machine.

[This message has been edited by Spiffy McBang (edited 03-13-2004).]

Since when did one womans opinion count for an entire gender? All you have to know is that each woman is different and each woman demands respect.

quote:Originally posted by Stryker:

And Bushy, if I find similar related things, I will make sure to post them just because it'll annoy you.

Sounds like your the one that is 15 now!

If this forum bothers you that much then just find a new one but please dont make your new hang out lab tips

It's called enterainment for a reason.

As appealing as lab tips is, I don't plan to live my life around smoking meth made from a bath tub (or smoking it period). But if you need someone to sell it...

Edit: Typo... (you would of thought I was smoking meth from reading that)

[This message has been edited by Stryker (edited 03-14-2004).]