just wondering how much religion matters really nowadays, whether you must believe the same, can believe different or believe nothing at all ... say whatever you want, just looking for different opinions really ... and don't flame other people for what they think! please be open.

Good question.

I have a friend in the same situation at the moment.

He's Catholic...She's "Pagan".

She insists that if they are to be married, he should be come Pagan...He insists that she should become Catholic.

The way I see it, if you love the person enough, you shouldn't have to get married...Especially when there is all this bullshit about conflicting beliefs.

He wants a Christian wedding, She wants a tree-hugger's wedding...This presents a few problems, which will lead to arguments.

I say just be together...You don't need a piece of paper, a ring and somephotos to show you love someone!

Correction, girls do :-P j/k

Religon... Wow... Uhm... It does depend on the peple. Like for instance, I have lal intentions of marrying a Jew. I'm agnostic/protestant (don't really know which, more towards agnosticism) And she has no problems, I have no problems.

Religon does kind of piss me off though, because I don't believe in god as the type of thing that does favors for you just for the hell of it, Ok? But I had a g/f onces where she was like "oh, but god will help us out." "I know that god will guide me into making the right decisions" "God is my gay lover"

Long story short, dated for a year 3 months and got to kissing! Woot! Thats it. Except for all the exlamation points and the "woot!" those were lies, she was a dumb bitch.

I say leave religon out of it unless nobody cares.

And yes, I make fun of my jew all the time :P (She knows I kid, and she laughs)

Doesn't matter. I don't give a shit about god. I have abondoned him. Jewish people seem to be a bit odd, well all the ones I know can't really make a stereotype. As I know of now I won't date one, if I find one thats like everyone else I know/hang out with it'll be all good.

quote:Originally posted by devilsAngel:

just wondering how much religion matters really nowadays, whether you must believe the same, can believe different or believe nothing at all ... say whatever you want, just looking for different opinions really ... and don't flame other people for what they think! please be open.

In relationships, religion can be an especially tricky thing.

Arguably, if a person is religious, then they believe 100% in what they believe and that belief is unshakeable. People who are uncertain or on-the-fence are what you might call agnostics -- whether they question the existence of God or the manner in which he/she/it deals with humanity is really a variation on a theme.

Problem with religiousness, as defined above, is that when it places you fundamentally at odds with the other person (or they at odds with you) then it may not be surmountable.

For instance, if it's dictated in my religion to raise our kids according to my religion and for her to raise our kids according to her religion (say, if I was a male Muslim and she's a Catholic), then we've got problems. The situation places us at odds and we can't change our stances.

Even worse is the situation where each religion claims a monopoly on divine truth, and much much worse is the situation where religious duty requires a person to 'save' their spouse from damnation.

In my opinion, if you're religious, then you should search for somebody who's in the same denomination as you -- it will make your search that much harder but it will make sure that the relationships you begin aren't doomed from the start.

If you're not religious, then you can 'agree to disagree' much more easily and find some kind of compromise that might make any interfaith combination possible.

^ Ditto, to the beginning anyways. I am an atheist, and my ex was a devote baptist...at least in heart, she did pretty much everything she wasn't supposed to i.e. dancing, premarital sex, interaccial relationships...it didn't really affect us, except that she would bring up stuff about me going to hell, and I would make fun of her because she didn't believe a single thing about evolution (she said scientists made up the fossils they dug up...)

quote:Originally posted by psycho_8b:

...She wants a tree-hugger's wedding...

Haha, first time I've ever heard a handfasting called that.

quote:Originally posted by NewRage:

^ Ditto, to the beginning anyways. I am an atheist, and my ex was a devote baptist...at least in heart, she did pretty much everything she wasn't supposed to i.e. dancing, premarital sex, interaccial relationships...it didn't really affect us, except that she would bring up stuff about me going to hell, and I would make fun of her because she didn't believe a single thing about evolution (she said scientists made up the fossils they dug up...)

Well, congratulations on your relationship and I hope it lasts. If she's a Baptist but a flexible one, then there's hope.

I myself had a wonderful Pentecostal lady ... and if I'd stayed with her beyond the two years I did, I'd still be waiting to get married to her and for her to put out. Given my sexual appetites and her beliefs, it's a wonder we lasted the two years at all.

^ Yea thanks, but it didn't... She cheated on me after we had be going out for 2 years, I guess I didn't really specify that she was my ex, but at least we didn't break up over religion...

quote:Originally posted by NewRage:

^ Yea thanks, but it didn't... She cheated on me after we had be going out for 2 years, I guess I didn't really specify that she was my ex, but at least we didn't break up over religion...

Ah ... scratch my congratulations and accept my sympathies, then. Good luck in the future.

very interesting replies ... definitely given new insight/thoughts for me to think on ...