i need help with removing myself emotionally from my boyfriend (to save the relationship) while still going out with him, but i am confused on how to go about it!

i am just finding myself getting annoyed with him for little things and taking things too seriously and now to save our relationship (we've been going out for almost 8 months now, its been a fairly intense relationship)... do i just need to take more time and space away from him? but the main thing i want from him is time, because we seem to be spending less and less time together these days due to school committments, activities etc.

i really want to keep going out with this guy because i have really fallen in love with him and every guy i know just doesn't compare. he says he wants to keep going out with me too and feels the same way, but only if i stop taking things so seriously (we are both fun-loving, relatively carefree types).

i suggested we give the relationship a time period and if it doesn't improve within that timeframe to how we both like it to feel then we break up. he absolutely hated the idea (thought it was taking things a little too far..)

help!!

If you feel you need to detach, then you should break up. Don't torture him or yourself with a fake relationship. Just tell him what you think, and try to work it out.

If you love him, don't break up, try to work things out, you sound like you are happy with him.

Take time apart...Say, until your commitments are out of the way.

If you still want to be with him after your commitments are over, then go for it.

There's no point in keeping a relationship going if you are both saying that you need time apart.

Concentrate more on these commitments of yours...If they are worth taking time away from each other then they must be important...Concentrate on those, get them out of the way and see how you feel afterwards.

You may find that you are happy without him...You may run back into his arms.

Who's to know?

quote:Originally posted by seckseewon:

i need help with removing myself emotionally from my boyfriend (to save the relationship) while still going out with him, but i am confused on how to go about it!

i am just finding myself getting annoyed with him for little things and taking things too seriously and now to save our relationship (we've been going out for almost 8 months now, its been a fairly intense relationship

help!!



i had that problem with my ex-girlfriend, after a while i just got really tired of her and things she did seemed amazingly annoying. What worked for me wasn't emoptional detachment but doing something new. We used to just hang around the house all the time and sit around, then we went out for sushi, which i'd never had before, and the next day went rock climbing and just like that the relationship was peachy keen again.

well i would try to do new stuff with him to keep it different, but he is so not open for going out all that often cos of his commitments and he is really bad at organising things, or getting back to me if i try to organise something.

like, i dunno, i just wanna keep the relationship low-maintenance so i guess i just gotta give it some space for a bit and i'll find myself running back to him, i hope...