I have been with this woman (18) for almost two years solid. We moved in together not even a week after we met. Things are great, we don't fight, the sex is awesome, and she is so good to me.



My problem is that I proposed to her about 18 months ago, and she cried and said yes, and cried some more.



We set the date to Halloween, that came, and we were broke, so we moved it to April 20. Things are a little tight, but we can afford to do it now, and she is saying that its just a piece of paper.

She won't tell me why she doesn't want to get married, just that "What will it change? and I already feel like we are married. and Its just a piece of paper."

I asked if she was scared, or unsure, or anything, and she says no, that she is sure she wants to spend the rest of her life with me, and that she loves me and will never leave me.

Is there maybe another reason she changed her mind? Any input is much appreciated. Thanks!

Stupid ass n00b

Obviously, because you can't afford to waste money on a piece of paper saying what you already know.

Shes lying. She hates you and is using you. I give it a month before she breaks up with you. Think im wrong? Wait in see. 2 months MOST.

You are a dick. I am not scared of her leaving me. Everything is fine, I have never been happier, thats why I want to get married. Fuck you Timothy.

Ignore T. Thomas; it's a well-known troll who's been banned at least twice so far.

ok, noob, why didn't you two get married Halloween? Were you really too broke to go to the county clerk and have a judge do the honors? In most counties in the USA all that should cost less than $200; if you knew you were going to get married, saving that amount should have been a priority. If having all the bells and whistles, as in a full-blown ceremony with attendants, fancy dresses, catered food and a big cake, is important then your priorities are out of order.

She's 18 now (did I read that correctly?) so she was just 16 when you got together. Honestly, if you're around the same age and you've both decided you've found "the one" for the rest of your lives, you both are beating some astounding odds against you. I'm not saying it's impossible because I've seen it happen. Not fighting and awesome sex are certainly signs of a good relationship.

How about goals? Do you share common goals for life, college, work, financial matters, housing, socializing, etc? If, at your ages, one spouse is more ambitious than the other, trouble may be brewing.

It's common for young people to view the whole marriage thing as "just a piece of paper" but it's far more than that, and it's something I didn't really understand myself until very recently, and I'm twice your age or more. I'm not sure I even understand it enough to articulate it convincingly, so I won't even try.

I've rambled on far too long, but all in all I'd say don't try to read too much into her views right now. If at all possible, just roll with it, continue to build the relationship, and let her figure it out on her own.

I couldn't but notice that you had set the date for April 20th, coincidence or not?

[This message has been edited by JesusTookMyBike123 (edited 03-09-2004).]

quote:Originally posted by JesusTookMyBike123:

I couldn't but notice that you had set the date for April 20th, coincidence or not?

[This message has been edited by JesusTookMyBike123 (edited 03-09-2004).]

yeah, 4-20. giggle giggle. their other date was friggin halloween. i mean, how much more romantic can you get?