I was cheated on two years ago when my boyfriend went on holiday. It was the most painful thing that has ever happened to me. I found out when he sent a text to me boasting about it to his friend but typed in my number instead. We ended up back together but I still wasn't over it. Everytime I had any drink I would just cry the whole time. This happened at night too, I just cried myself to sleep. I loved him so much even though he had caused so much pain to me. I asked him if he had fucked any one else and he told me he hadn't.

We stayed together and I started on the pill. It gave me awful mood swings and I ended up getting suicidal. We broke up and fought. During that fight he told me that he had actually fucked 2 girls. I was hysterical. I didn't sleep that night, all I could do was cry. I didn't go to school the next day even though I had a state exam. I had a little incident involving too much alcohol the next night and him telling me to kill myself but I won't get into that now.

We got back together a month later. A month into getting back together he told me he was going to France again. I was shocked. I was terrified of him cheating on me again. We ended it again. I gave him the ultimatum between me and a holiday fuck. He chose the latter. He came crawling back but I wanted none of it until I got far too drunk. We made out for ages. A few days later he saw me making out with a mutual friend and he freaked at me and got a bit physical too.

Somehow we ended up back together and there's been a lot of other shit too. Summer's fast approaching and I'm scared. I'm just as hurt now as I was before. It's the worst feeling I have ever felt and it's been with me for far too long. Have any of you ever gotten over something like this? How long does it take? I'm going crazy. I need to get over this but I can't. I'm being completely used but I'm hopelessly in love with this guy. I just don't know what to do anymore

Don't be so fucking stupid!

It hurts like fuck, I know..but Jesus Heratio Christ, lady! You keep setting yourself up for it, and you know it..give me his address so I can attack him with a plastic bat.

That's the thing! I'm stuck! I love him more than I hate him. I blame myself for all this even though I did nothing wrong. My mind's the most hypocritical thing to ever exist. I can't help it... I just want the pain to go away. I don't trust anyone anymore. I'm probably being overly dramatic but I'm all stupid and emotional. Feel like such a weak person

Realizing (actually realizing for yourself not just saying it) that he doesn't feel the same way about you that you do about him is going to be extremely hard. But you have to do it! Sit down and make a list of all the bad things about him. Is he really worth your time? I doubt it.

Time will heal your emotions ONLY IF you give up on him. Leave him for good.

quote:Originally posted by Purple Phreaxxx:

I just want the pain to go away. I don't trust anyone anymore. I'm probably being overly dramatic but I'm all stupid and emotional. Feel like such a weak person



And you will continue to feel like a "weak person" as long as you stay in this very harmful relationship. The pain will continue and he will continue to cheat on you. Kick his ass to the curb as people sometimes say.

To be honest, it's going to take a looong time to get over him. The best thing to do is not see him at all, and gettin with someone else doesn't erase him, but it's good to have comfort and over time you'll stop thinking about him all the time.

~es

He cheated on you and bragged about it to his friend, or attempted to, obviously he wasn't very regretful. He lied to you when he said he only slept with one girl and when you break up he gets angry when he sees you with another guy. He's an irredeemable piece of trash, dump his shit and find a real man, of course it's going to be difficult if you've been in love with him but he has proved multiple times he doens't care about your feelings. Love is a two way street, ditch him.

And if he got physical with you you mean he hit you...guys who hit their girlfriends, or ex-girlfriends, should be beaten to death with golf clubs. Get rid of him he's no good, you can find someone else who will treat you like you deserve to be treated.

Can't we beat them to death with maces? What happened to the good ol' days?

Take a positive out of this- intellectually, you realize this is fucked up. That's more than a lot of people in similar situations can say, and that's often where you need to start.

Now you have to work from there. Dump him. Sob holes in your pillows if you have to. Visualize this: You own a piece of land. Think about the worst thing you can imagine anyone doing to it- carving out pieces with a bulldozer and hauling them off to Never Never Land, sticking wooden spikes in every foot at fucked-up angles that make it look like a mass grave for vampires, knocking down your house with a wrecking ball.. hell, maybe they smash your carefully tended azaleas. That would drive some people to homicide.

Now imagine your heart as your most cherished piece of real estate, and understand that AT LEAST from the instant you got that text message, he has been repeatedly shredding, stabbing, wrecking, and/or smashing it in that worst possible way. You live on that land. If it were going on in the physical world, where land and ownership are as so much dust in the wind, how long would you tolerate that shit, no matter who was doing it? Not as long as you've tolerated him, I'm betting, yet you still linger in confusion over what to do with him.

I won't be the one to say you're not a weak person. I don't know you well enough to discern that one way or the other. But even if you are, realize that weakness is not a permanent state of being. You can become strong if you want, but you have to do it. No one's going to dump him for you. No one's going to make time pass any more swiftly so that your emotional wounds heal faster. It's all so cliche, and it's all so true.

You do not have an open-ended question in front of you; you have a decision to make and two options to choose from. For all the words and tears that can be spilled over this, everything's going to come down to that simple fact. Go one way or go the other, just don't stand there.