Okay, you know how there are some things that should never be brought up in a male-to-male conversation? Well, this is a story of a tag-along and his breech of etiquette. See, we are all sitting around talking and this aforementioned tag-along, Brad (also Elite_Dance), decides to inform us of his latest ass-sex happening. He goes on to tell us that he had went 90 days in basic training without orgasming. And while sitting on the toilet constipated, he pushed so hard that he orgasmed. I proceeded to inform him that such a happening is a buttgasm and that none of us want to hear about it. Of course, he tried to argue that it wasnt a buttgasm, but what else would you call it? I dont know if it was his way of expressing his sexuality to us, but whatever it was, we didnt want to hear about it. So, now we all call him buttgasm. Its a sad truth, but he cant deny it without dropping to the level of a lying faggot... at least right now hes not a liar.

SHUT UP YOU FUCKING FAGGOT> No one wants to read this gay ass shit.

Except maybe you and Lokil.

That was fucking hilarious.

See, exactly. None of us wanted to hear about it either. Dont be mad at me, be mad at the one who had the buttgasm. You need to learn to pick and choose the proper people to hate... in this case, I am not the correct answer. Ever hear the saying, "dont kill the messanger"? No matter how gross it is, you have to laugh at its disgusting funniness. He fucking told us about this! Why? If you ever had such a happening, would you fucking tell anyone?

umm.. but its about a dude getting off blowing a gasket.

Shit Negro, that's all you had to say! Well, up shut fuck the!

Lol this makes me laugh in a disgusting kinda way sorta like that tub girl picture its so disgusting makes you laugh

It is a given, that you have the right not to listen in, to a story like that.

One option is to ask him to not tell, the other could be to leave the room. Importantly though, you have choices.



On another note: Most of you guys are obviously clueless when it comes to human biology....





[This message has been edited by SpecialK9 (edited 03-01-2004).]

Well, I don't think that gay people are gay becuase the like anal stimulation, they are gay because they are attracted to men. So, calling you're friend gay for this is pretty stupid. The shit probably stimulated his PROSTATE whice borders the rectum.

0wn3d

must have been the prostate.... i enjoyed that little story!

quote:Originally posted by Negro Savage:

SHUT UP YOU FUCKING FAGGOT> No one wants to read this gay ass shit.

Except maybe you and Lokil.

Shut up. Don't speak that ooga booga lingo. Anyways.. Nice story. It was hilarious.

I know a guy who was trying so hard to shit he got a nose bleed. That was one hilarious story.

His version was more graphic.

Yes, this did happen and I realize now that I should never have told anyone about it. I just don't see how it could have been a "gasm". There was no feeling or "pleasure" and it scared the shit out of me. Later on I laughed about it.

The only reason I told anyone is because you're suppsed to be able to talk to your friends about anything without them giving you too much shit about it. I guess I was wrong. I'm not gay or bi so I don't understand why you guys would call me one. I guess friendships just aren't the way they are in larger towns where people have minds that are more open to such info... One last thing, I wasn't the only one at BCT. who had this happen to me. MRE's really block you up.

Buttgasms are hawt. Haha.

elite_dance, if your friends call you gay because your shit pressed on your prostate, fuck them. They're ignorant fucks if they think the same wouldn't happen to them.

First of all, you can't go 90 days without an orgasm(unless of course your too young to produce semen). Sure, he may not of choked his chicken for 90 days, but he would of some wet dreams during this period (at least I think this is the case, but I could be wrong). And as the others have already said, when he took a shit, the shit probably touched his prostate somehow causing him to orgasm

quote:Originally posted by Peter Griffin:

First of all, you can't go 90 days without an orgasm

Are you sure about that?

No I am not. But usually I can only go about 4-5 days without one. If you would of read on, you would of saw me say I wasn't 100% positve. I think it has to do with the constant production of sperm, especially with males in the latter stages of puberty. But don't quote me on this, I am not a fucking scientist, just horny.

It's important to note that the term "buttgasm" is totally inappropriate.

The release of semen, while defecating, is totally involuntary. There is very little or no "neurochemical" orgasm in comparison to sex or masturbation. The body is simply taking care of excess fluid.

A lot of men, don't experience this because they either have "wet dreams" or masterbate and/or have sex on a regular basis.



To the guy that was betrayed by his friends:

Get rid of those friends, they don't deserve your friendship!

If you have friends like that, who needs enemies?!

Thank you for all of those who art not assholes like those that are...

There are lots of thing that can happen perfectly naturally and still be gross. Vomiting is gross, but its natural. Its not the fact that the terd stimulated his prostate, its the fact that his finger was helping it.

quote:Originally posted by DavidBoren:

There are lots of thing that can happen perfectly naturally and still be gross. Vomiting is gross, but its natural. Its not the fact that the terd stimulated his prostate, its the fact that his finger was helping it.

You're a moron. Now you're trying justify that you betrayed your friends trust.

That's pathetic.

Go read my post over and over until something hopefully sticks to that neanderthal brain.

SK9

Yeah, you see Brad, fag, Buttgasm what ever you want to call him; he doesn't understand that he has no friends and that we(that would be Matt, Bob, Ryan, myself and everyone else at THS) dont like him or his homo-erotic antics. I know he's jealous of me because I'm good looking, smart, funny and I'm just plain awesome. He would do well to learn early on that he isn't cool, he can't accomplish anything cool and he's a puss.

Last time I checked only fags and some girls had buttgasms.

PS:

Sorry you're so dumb Brad

SK9, I dont have to justify shit. For one, I didnt betray any friends. Friends are something I hold very dear to me... thats what you do with friends. I do not constantly hint to my friends that I want them to leave, I do not tell my friends Im getting ready to go to sleep every time they call to see if they can come over, I do not lock my friends out of houses and laugh at them, I do not constantly rag my friends about things they tell me (even if these aforementioned things are weird)... simply put, who ever said Brad was my friend? Note also: the term tag-along is used to described elite_dance... not friend. Do you understand now? This is someone who follows us like a lost puppy. You want to hang out with your friends, you dont constantly scheme and connive on how to avoid them. You dont help your friends post huge posts slamming other friends. There are some things you dont do to your friends... as far as I know I have done all these to Brad. Some people cant take hints.

[This message has been edited by DavidBoren (edited 03-04-2004).]

you're an idiot.

Brad, I really do NOT like you. Of all the times Ive tried to pound that into your dumb head, please understand that this is not a farse, a trick, a joke, a ploy, or anything else you tell yourself that our making fun of you is. This is real. I do, in fact, dislike you.

PS. Dont be a loser and shoot people at school, its so much more economical to shoot yourself.

Okay here is a simple way to describe elite_dance...



This is a weiner:

-------> (_!_)

This is elite_dance's Butt ^^

Get it?

David Boren

It doesn't matter if Brad is your friend, tag-along or whatever.

What you did, exposing him and what he privately told you, on a Totse forum, shows a lack of character and maturity.

Even if he did all the things you say he did, it's not right to defamate and carry on a personal war on Totse.

Don't spread hate because you're not making yourself look good, trust me on that.

Vash.T.S: your posts don't add anything to your credibility, on the contrary, what's written above also applies to you.



[This message has been edited by SpecialK9 (edited 03-04-2004).]

quote:Originally posted by Negro Savage:

[B]YOU FUCKING FAGGOT[B]

you fucking nigger.

how'd you appreciate that? think before slandering others.

ITS NOT BRADS FAULT! If something touches your prostrate then you *will* cum; thats how they impregnate pigs.

A probe goes up the male pigs ass and mildly shocks the prostrate and the seman is milked from the pigs penis. Then it is stored and injected into female pigs vaginas. This way 1 male pig can impregnate 100's of other pigs on the factory-farm. However some farmers train young pigs to mount a bench and stimulate themselves on it. Sperm is collected in a small cup and stored. This is less stressfull to the pigs or other animals.

Anyway the point is that if your prostrate is stimulated you will ejactulate.

This doesn't make him gay. Stop making fun of him for something he can't control. He thought you were his friend but you are not.

Would a mod please lock this fucking thread already? This personal flame war shit doesn't belong on totse.

This was funny until you guys started letting the whole world you didn't like Brad. Yes, it's wrong to lead someone on, but you shouldn't publicly humiliate them.

And Brad, you have my sympathy, I know how it feels to find out your "friends" were just pretending.

I am not biologically retarded, I understand what happens when the prostate is stimulated... anyone who has seen Road Trip understands that. See, Im an asshole, anything can fuel my little tirades. Its simply on more thing to make fun of him for. Its what I do best. Nonetheless, nobody was pretending, as you put it. See, we never stopped in our endless deluge of hints. We just werent mean enough to totally tell him off until now. Sorry, everyone in Totse got caught in the crossfire. Didnt mean to turn this into a personal shit fight. Anyways, I think it can end now... my point has been proven, and to continue would just show how juvenile my assholish antics really are. As long as everyone understands that we werent pretending to be his friends, we dont change ourselves to humor others. We are part of the organization that doesnt conform.

ok. my views on this topic. one, you do not talk about everything with your friends. ive known VASH T.S for almost 13 years, and we are like brothers. however, there are things we dont talk about, like the size of the loads shot when masturbating. there are certain things that are best kept to ones self. also, all this getting bent out of shape and such is really childish. no one should care about about what is said about them on a forum like totse. also, no one forced you people to read anything. if you dont want to read something then dont read it. its a very simple concept. the concept of having a forum like this is to post what you want when you want, and if you cant grasp that concept i pity you. small towns are no more closed minded than anywere else, its all a matter of beliefs. libby, for those of you who know what im talking about, is much larger than troy. yet they cannot read the book fields of fire because of its controversy. also, people are very quick to forget about there own faults, and attack others for theirs. sinners cast the first stones. this should be seen as neither a defense for brad, or an attack on DavidBoren or Vash. This is an attack on people being stupid and hypocritical, and should be viewed as such, nothing more, nothing less. i am neither a coward nor a follower, i want and have wanted nothing to do with this immature and pointless activity. we are all buffalo, dont bother thinking any different, and we will continue to be buffalo until we are all killed and the human race evovles into "the superman"

Saying that no one forced us to read this is not a valid defense. Obviously it was posted with the intention of getting others to read it and comment on elite_dance. Of course it wasn't forced, but DavidBoren knew people would read this. The whole fucking point of going onto the totse forums is to read posts. But, shit like this should be taken care of in real life, and not flaunted on a very popular internet forum. DavidBoren and Vash T., if you really don't like elite_dance, then fucking tell him in real life. Don't do it on a forum. Posting this instead of just telling the poor guy shows what kind of people you two are: namely cowards.

To euroballer, I find your unwillingness to take a position disgusting. "We are all buffalo .. blah blah". Fuck off pal, and take that nihilism bullshit with you. Why don't you post what you really think instead of being a fucking pussy? You spent your post trying to absolve yourself of any responsibility for this bs, trying to make yourself sound like Jesus. Well I got news for ya: you're a sinner just like the rest of us. Why don't you hop off that fence?

In this one movie, I think it was Road Trip I saw something like that. The main characters go to a sperm bank to get some money or something and one of them asks the nurse for help. She takes him and sticks her fingers up his ass and he orgasms. At the end of the movie it shows the same guy getting that done again.

quote:Originally posted by Joeb:

To euroballer, I find your unwillingness to take a position disgusting. "We are all buffalo .. blah blah". Fuck off pal, and take that nihilism bullshit with you. Why don't you post what you really think instead of being a fucking pussy? You spent your post trying to absolve yourself of any responsibility for this bs, trying to make yourself sound like Jesus. Well I got news for ya: you're a sinner just like the rest of us. Why don't you hop off that fence?

Hey Joeb, I can bet my left nut that euroballer could crush your pathetic existance. That being said, I think he has far surpassed all of us with his nihilistic bullshit. He his simply an outside voice commenting on others. Its actually much more difficult in life to not pick a point... to be totally unbias is a very admirable position. So, its you who should fuck off, pal.

Oh and, we have said it to him "in real life". Thus the mention of the fact he cant take a hint (yeah, its pretty much the theme of Vash's and my posts). I didnt mean for this to turn into this little personal fued between elite, me, and vash. I did, in fact, mean for people to read it however. But I didnt expect people to get so anal (bad pun) about the buttgasm thing being correct or not. Fuck, its a funny story. You laugh, you vomit everywhere, and you post that you laughed and vomitted everywhere. I didnt even start with the intention of really bashing on Brad. Yeah, I took a stab at him here and there, but its a weird thing to have happen and you cant say something like that without expecting some sort of negative reaction. Nonetheless, I feel stupider for humoring your retarded antics and inane comments. Have fun off in your own little world, pal.

[QUOTE]Originally posted by Joeb:

[B]Saying that no one forced us to read this is not a valid defense. Obviously it was posted with the intention of getting others to read it and comment on elite_dance. Of course it wasn't forced, but DavidBoren knew people would read this. The whole fucking point of going onto the totse forums is to read posts. But, shit like this should be taken care of in real life, and not flaunted on a very popular internet forum. DavidBoren and Vash T., if you really don't like elite_dance, then fucking tell him in real life. Don't do it on a forum. Posting this instead of just telling the poor guy shows what kind of people you two are: namely cowards.

To euroballer, I find your unwillingness to take a position disgusting. "We are all buffalo .. blah blah". Fuck off pal, and take that nihilism bullshit with you. Why don't you post what you really think instead of being a fucking pussy? You spent your post trying to absolve yourself of any responsibility for this bs, trying to make yourself sound like Jesus. Well I got news for ya: you're a sinner just like the rest of us. Why don't you hop off that fence?

i will not hop off the fence for one reason and one reason only. i have no problem with elite_dance, and vash and DavidBoren are very good friends of mine. if you misread my post, im sorry your brain is simple. and you do not have to read anything, also you can post what you want. if not, whats the point of posting it? as to your claim of telling him, they did, the hint was not taken. and yes, i want no responibility for this because i have have not and do not want any part of this. but i know i will be sucked into this in some way, and i am making my case as a neutral party. if you dont understand that, i feel pity for you.

It's kind of wierd how people will use you over and over again for little things like alcohol. I may have been a tag along, but that isn't my fault. You never really came out and told me. I got the hints, I just chose to ignore them. I know the entire school hates me because I'm different and I know who I am and because I tell people how I feel about them without leading them on and using them. I'm true to my friends, any of you can attest to that...tag along:yes,fag:no. It's easy to hang out with people who hate your guts if they don;t really come out and tell you because it makes you feel a little accepted.

All of this ranting and raving that vash and david are doing is pointless and really childish. Euroballer, I appreciate your friendship and will never stab you in the back like some others have done to me. Remember that little talk we had outside of the comp lab the other day david? You're being a hypocrite by coming here and telling these people a totally differenty story than what you told me that day...

Bottom line, maybe you should grow up, and try being better friends to me than I have been to you.. Oh wait that will never happen since I'm true to my real friends...

And Joeb, please don't get on euroballer's case like that. We are all his friends, he just doesn't want to come between his friendships by taking sides. Thank for your support though...

[This message has been edited by elite_dance (edited 03-05-2004).]

damn straight!

Okay, I know speaking in analogies are one way of hiding from flat our saying the truth, but its the simplest thing I could think of. You know when youre walking around and you realize there is a puppy following you? At first you dont really care that its there, then something about it just seems to piss you off and you keep getting more and more upset at it until you turn around and kick it. You think that the kick is sufficent to make the dog leave, but then a little bit later you realize it is still there. So, you kick it again. This time it doesnt scapper away at all, it just curls up and looks at you with those stupid puppy-dog eyes. Now, having seen those damn hopeless eyes, you refuse to kick it so you throw rocks beside it and yell at it... never actually hurting it. Well, the dog keeps following you, but suddenly you find yourself too nice (or mean, however you look at it) to kick it and chase it away. Just because you dont want to deal with those damn eyes. That conversation in the hallway, I couldnt bring myself to flat out "kick" you because of those eyes. Im hiding behind totse because those eyes make me feel like a backstabber, even though Ive been "throwing rocks" and "yelling" for a very long time. I honestly dont feel like Ive used you, taken advantage of you, or stabbed you in the back. Yeah, I drank the alcohol you bought, but Id drink with Bill Clinton if he was buying. Dont know if you ever watch Trigun, but there is a part where a whole town tries to kill Vash for the bounty, then they realize hes an okay guy (after he saves the town), and they all get drunk together... he totally doesnt care that everyone hated him 10 seconds ago, he still gets drunk with them. Thats the way I am. Remember way back when, when you first moved here? You used to dress kinda preppy; khakis, etc etc. Well, then you stopped doing that and started dressing a little more like us... more punk, but not as preppy anymore. You also used to listen to only rap. But we all hated rap, so pretty soon you started listening to all the stuff we did. Pretty soon, everything about you just kind of seemed fake. It was aggrivating. That and how you think you are better than everyone. Its not egotistical, its annoying. Theres a difference between bragging and lying, and with you no one can tell where one stops and the other begins. All these little things would be trivial by themselves, but they add up and kept adding up until thats all you were, all you are. And pretty soon people refuse to try deal with it. You try so hard to be your own person; your punk/goth clothes, your ideas, everything; but it all seems so fake, youve went too far, and thats what everyone hates. Be your own person, but dont totally lock yourself out of society. Anyways, I dont have to justify this shit... what is done, is done; theres no going back to the day one when everything can change. Youre beyond help, and Im beyond forgiveness. Shake hands, go our seperate ways with a nice lot of bottled up hate that will someday drive us to shoot people.

How have I gone so far? I was always conforming with everyone else and going with the flow of society and keeping my ideas to myself. I got sick and tired of it and the way I dress is the way I dress. I changed because I hated being just another conformist. I don't see how I went too far. You have your opinion on that so I'm not going to judge you for it.

Truely the U.S. Army is a bastion for the mentally deformed. And that includes all of you, not just the sex fiend.

DOWZ.Net (http://www.dowz.net)

Umm... I wonder if Elvis had a buttgasm?

You know, analogies are actually a good way to describe a certain situation.

I liked the one with the puppy.

It could have gone a bit different though, DavidBoren.

If I see a puppy following me, I feel compassion. Compassion, is one of the most honourable traits of mankind. You will find that out when you get older.

To user your analogy: you could have chosen to look after this puppy until it could fend for itself and be independent. You would have enjoyed lifelong gratitude. While caring for this puppy you could have found someone to adopt it (introduce your friend to other friends). The puppy would've appreciated this as well. The gratitude would have been all yours.

So you see, you have choices. You can step over your shadow, do something good and later enjoy the rewards. Or you can be a jerk, get nothing out of it and show to people around you that you're an asshole and don't care.

It's all about choices, that you're free to take. Whatever they are.

SK9

Edit: Pardon me, SK9, I didn't want to bump this pathetic thread up. Take it to B&M, if you passive aggressive fucks must continue to act like children. (not you, SK9, Joeb and even Saturn...)--DC

[This message has been edited by deadlycindy (edited 03-07-2004).]