Okay, so here's my problem:

I've been masturbating for as long as I remember (like since I was three), several times a day and I can only make myself come by you know, rubbing up against something. I think I've desensitised myself to anything but that, right? So now if I'm with my boyfriend I can't come. The thing is though, I'm not really bothered about it, but he is. Even though I love having sex and it is incredibly pleasurable, just not in a way that I feel I can orgasm. I'm completely satisfied though, like I don't need to finish myself off after or anything. But my boyfriend doesn't believe me, and I don't want to fake it either.

Argh, what should I do?? It's almost as if orgasms aren't at all special to me, just because I can make myself come so easily and it's just something I do myself, you know?

I'm thinking I should figure out how to come with just my hand, because then my boyfriend would definitely be able to do it. But it's so frustrating, because no matter how horny I am, I've never been able to come just using my hand.

But anyway, advice from you guys is always good so I thought I'd bring my problem here. Cheers.

I just saw you say in another thread that you come very easily when someone touchs you. Which is it?

If you get off by rubbing things, dry hump, or hump his arm or leg. He will love it, and have no problem doing it.

It's a pride thing to make a girl cum. It makes men feel more like men. Every time I get done with my girl, I ask her how many times she came. It makes me feel good to know that I am bringing her pleasure.

Thats what sex is all about for me. If she doesn't get off, I don't enjoy it as much, and I feel like I failed.

Thats one mans point of view.

You know for the name stupid noob you're pretty smart. I feel the same way.

quote:Originally posted by stupid noob:

I just saw you say in another thread that you come very easily when someone touchs you. Which is it?

If you get off by rubbing things, dry hump, or hump his arm or leg. He will love it, and have no problem doing it.



Wouldn't that creep him out?

Yeah, I guess that was a bit misleading. I don't mean I actually almost come, I just get kind of a rush and have to catch my breath, but not an actual orgasm, you know?

Hell no it wouldn't creep him out. Even if you did it without saying something first, it would confuse him, until he saw that you were enjoying yourself. Then he would join in! Guys like to be surprised with weird\new\kinky things.

quote:Originally posted by stupid noob:

Hell no it wouldn't creep him out. Even if you did it without saying something first, it would confuse him, until he saw that you were enjoying yourself. Then he would join in! Guys like to be surprised with weird\new\kinky things.

yeah i agree with you if my girlfreind started humping my leg and moaning id think it was wierd but then id join in.

When you say you are "with your boyfriend" are you talking about sex or sex and oral, or sex and oral and manual?

quote:Originally posted by stupid noob:

Hell no it wouldn't creep him out. Even if you did it without saying something first, it would confuse him, until he saw that you were enjoying yourself. Then he would join in! Guys like to be surprised with weird\new\kinky things.

I don't know about you but if my girl just started humping my leg/hand/body id just start laughing my ass off, I wouldn't be able to join in. That would be to confusing and funny.

quote:Originally posted by Joeb:

When you say you are "with your boyfriend" are you talking about sex or sex and oral, or sex and oral and manual?

I mean everything.

Argh, why am I such a retard? Seriously, it never even occured to me to touch myself until I started watching sex shows and whatever. I feel so stupid, because I know it's super hot when a girl touches herself. But humping? It's something dogs do and it's not attractive to look at. *Sigh*. I know my boyfriend wouldn't care if I did try something, cause he knows how I get myself off and it doesn't bother him, it just bothers me.

I was in the same boat, Sick. When I was in preschool I learned to masturabate by rubbing up against things. I finally learned how to use my hand when I was 12. It seemed like more work though.

The first time a guy made me cum was when I was 14 by oral. That I've found is the easiest way to cum from a different person. Instruct him: "Keep your tongue there" Let him try different things with his tongue and tell him what you like and what you don't. I always thought teaching guys how to please me was so fun. (So is learning.)

The speed and amount of pressure applied can be confusing and hard to read for younger guys. A guy using his hand to try and get you off will be a bit more complicated than if he used his mouth.

As far as sex, good luck! I'm sure you've read a million and 3 times how it's hard for women to cum from intercourse alone. Clitoral stimulation is needed to get that *orgasm feeling* you're used to. This can be done by him rubbing his pelvic area against your clit (keep your hips together) in the missionary position. Or you can just reach your hand down there while you're going at it and make yourself cum.

I understand where you're coming from though. My first boyfriend was often distraught about how I could never *cum* cum during sex. He was suspicious when I told him I still enjoyed it thoroughly without having to cum.

Even now, the great feeling you get from sex is just better than a 7 or 8 second orgasm. (Use that line!)

He also has to understand that male and female orgasms are two completely different things. The goal of sex for guys is to cum, while a woman will cum and that will be the prelude to the sex, not the end.

quote:Originally posted by MrMojoRisin:

I was in the same boat, Sick. When I was in preschool I learned to masturabate by rubbing up against things. I finally learned how to use my hand when I was 12. It seemed like more work though.



Oh my god, I am so freaking relieved. Thank you so much MrMojo, you have no idea how much better I feel now. I mean I always knew I couldn't be the "only one" with this problem, but just hearing about it from someone else is so nice. Thank you so much.

Okay, I guess I'll just have to keep on trying then .

It's not uncommon for some girls to not be able to come by penetration alone. They either need to massage their clit or else get oral. No biggy.

[This message has been edited by lordsjohnson (edited 03-01-2004).]