I need some help in getting up enough nerve to atleast talk to a girl without clamming up, maybe someone could even help me with asking one out. I have asked people before and the answers are always the same, "Just ask them, all they can say is no," now personally, I guess I think too much, but that scares the shit out of me. I mean, its probably just something I've beat into my own head, but them saying no would just kill any sliver of confidence I had to begin with, and drinking/smoking isn't exactly the kind of answers im looking for(people have suggested it before.)

Getting turned down ain't the end of the world, friend. When I was in high school I felt the same way. Now I'm in college and I'm not scared to ask girls out anymore. You'll get better with age. For now relax, take deep breaths, and talk to a girl you're interested in.

You can practice your approach in front of a mirror if you think that will help. Good luck!

I'm afraid of rejection too. them saying "no" is a big deal to me because it gets me down, and makes me feel like a moron and really embarrasses me.

I just wait untill I find out she wants to go out with me, or likes me, till I make a move. Doesn't land me a girlfriend that much, but shit my last one and my current one are hot shitless because of it.

good for you for not leaning on drinking as a social tool...it doesn't work.

Truthfully, learning to be more confident is lifes best lesson. I'm sure you are shy and all, but most of that stems from personal insecurity. I know it sounds dumb and cheesy, but sit in front of a mirror. Think of all the good things about you. List your talents. List your good features. List the goods in your personality. You need to come to realize that you are a good person and people are lucky to know you. Forget your flaws. No matter how perfect someone may seem, they aren't. Everyone has flaws, who cares! If you feel that you are worthy of asking out the girls, then you will be able to approach girls with more confidence.

Even if they say "no", as you will come to find girls will say no, who cares. Try to remember the good about you. Not every girl is going to be interested in you, the same as you are not interested in every girl. Some girls are not ready for relationships. Some have been hurt and will say no because they are scared. Some just want a different kind of guy. It isn't your fault, and you shouldn't be smashed over a rejection. I know that is hard, and after the first couple rejections, you may still feel the "I am not good enough" deal. But you have to get your heart broken a couple times in life. Dwelling on that will not help. Growing up is a learning process, and you will learn to deal with rejection without being utterly destroyed. It just takes time.

Dont ever forget the good in you...sorry if all that was dumb, but it works. Good luck!

have you ever been told no before? and why worry about it so much? being rejected sucks but it wont kill you . at least i hope not .

do you have friends that are girls ? if so ask them what thay think about all this thay might be able to help you out better than a bunch of people that dont know have never seen you . you know what i mean

pikk

If it were true that "the worst that could happen is she'll say no" I wouldn't be so timid. I've gotten no in ways that would amaze you.

"I'm a lesbian" Later kissed another girl to 'prove it' to me.

Hysterical laughter (happened a few times)

"Ew, go away"

And of course you can't forget the girl that trasfered out of all classes we had together.

The best way to approach girls is in the "you don't mean shit to me" way. Ask her out if you want but when you do it don't expect it to happen so that way you will be in shock when it does and all that other so called "love" crap falls into place. Don't go in there expecting a yes. Don't go in there expecting anything but a no and you will do fine.

or you can go in there acting all cold and disinterested. Some girls take it and some don't. The ones that do want to know why you're like it, the ones that don't probably aren't worth it anyway because they just want to go party or something. Not all of the ones that don't take that kind of cold-detached attitude aren't worth the time, but the ones that DO have a really high percentage of being cool. Thats what I do anyway. Or if you're friends with a girl, forget to call her and stuff. Girls crave attention. So if you have a girl thats your friend and you give her attention, call her, hang out and stuff, then you need to forget to call her sometimes, maybe forget about her a little bit. Make her call you. She's used to getting this attention without having to work for it, or having a boyfriend. So you need to make her work for the attention she's so used to now. Now work your magic on her. Ugh this is hard to explain so try this www.girlfriendstealer.com (http://www.girlfriendstealer.com)

I'll second all of the posts before me. I can't bring myself to talk about forcing her to submit, or sodomizing her in this thread. Just be yourself dude. It'll all work out...God I am so tempted, but I won't. A first huh folks?

LSA King's on the right track. She means nothing to you.

I know exactly how you feel. "No" is not the worst thing that can happen. "No" can ruin a friendship. "No" can demolish all that bravery and self confidence you've built up. "No" can take all those feelings you have for a person and send them right back at you like a train.

No is not the worst thing that can happen. It's the beginning of all the worst things that can happen.

I hate life.

^^speaking from recent experience i take it. Feel better bud.

quote:Originally posted by guernica:

I know exactly how you feel. "No" is not the worst thing that can happen. "No" can ruin a friendship. "No" can demolish all that bravery and self confidence you've built up. "No" can take all those feelings you have for a person and send them right back at you like a train.

No is not the worst thing that can happen. It's the beginning of all the worst things that can happen.

I hate life.

I find it's comforting to take out your anger and depression violently. Try to beat someone or something up, with or without a knife and/or gun.

alright thanks for all of the replies, i will try taking some of your advice, no promises though, lol

Pretend they are ugly the first time you talk to them. With ugly girls you can talk to them as friendly as you want. For me, I consider it a possibility that they'll think I like them, but since they are ugly, I don't give a fuck. I can just turn them down, or do whatever I want.

So, think of the girl as ugly, and just talk to her friendly.

Only do that the first time, or else you will probably make yourself into a friend. Thats bad, and I'm also saddened when a guy lets himself become a hot girl's friend.

quote:Originally posted by TheDragon:

Only do that the first time, or else you will probably make yourself into a friend. Thats bad, and I'm also saddened when a guy lets himself become a hot girl's friend.

Oh the agony! That bittersweet agony of becoming a hot girl's friend! How more bitter and less sweet it is!

quote:Originally posted by Corrupt Civilian:

Oh the agony! That bittersweet agony of becoming a hot girl's friend! How more bitter and less sweet it is!

Is that sarcasm?

Anyways, I kind of worded that rather shallowly. I don't have a problem with being a female's friend. I just think its saddening when a guy who likes a girl settles for being a her buddy. I suppose you get to be around her and talk to her and do things with her, but there is no pay off. I'm not just talking about a sex pay off. I'm saying, that you'll never get anything more than just friendship with this girl you are crazy about, and I think that sucks.

quote:Originally posted by TheDragon:

Is that sarcasm?

Anyways, I kind of worded that rather shallowly. I don't have a problem with being a female's friend. I just think its saddening when a guy who likes a girl settles for being a her buddy. I suppose you get to be around her and talk to her and do things with her, but there is no pay off. I'm not just talking about a sex pay off. I'm saying, that you'll never get anything more than just friendship with this girl you are crazy about, and I think that sucks.

I know exactly what you're saying. It's a terrible thing when a guy settles for being friends when he really loves (or likes) the girl. These relationships are one-sided and often end tragically.

The "friendly things" friends do are often fun and exciting, but never the same as they could be if both felt the same way about the other.

It's a damn cryin' shame, and that's all I have to say about that.