Not a very specifc thread name, but who cares?

Ok, so I've been technically going out with this girl for only a week. But we have been emotionally close for the past few months. Recently, we've thrown in that little phrase "I love you", which is quite a big deal considering all that's happened.

Now for my problem, it seems like she is very "friendly" with other guys. I see her constantly flirting, hugging, even kissing other guys. (we went out before, and people knew about it, messed things up, this time we haven't told anyone but a few very close friends, so we don't act like a couple in public) And she talks to people online where she strips on her cam for them. But when I ask her to do that for me, she says no, "it wouldn't seem right." Wtf? Out of all the guys she knows I'm the only one that actually cares about her. I'm not impatient or anything, but this lack of physical affection makes me feel like I'm unimportant to her. What do I do?

you are unimportant to her. she seems rather slutty. if you don't want to continue being just some superficial tool for her i would recommend forgetting her and severing your ties with her.

You're not serious are you? Because if you are, I will have to beat the shit out of you for being so dumb!

There is absolutely no reason to be with this type of girl. Dump her and find someone who treats you right. But, if you're just looking for sex and such, you might keep her around.

That seems backwards, considering I'm not gettin any "sex and such".

She says she loves me and has a deeper relationship with me then anyone else she knows. Also, a few days ago, she almost died from overdosing. I was so worried and scared about what happened to her, thats when I realized I loved her. And then afterwards, me telling her everything, she realized I cared more then she thought.

I don't know man, I think I'm in love with this girl, she's perfect. It's just this one thing with her like, not acknowledging me enough and making me feel insignificant.

How is she "perfect"? I haven't seen you post anything that supports that statement. Sounds like she has issues, actually, and it's unlikely her behavior toward you (and others) will change as long as you show you're willing to tolerate it.

If I where you, I would dump her so fast she wouldn't have time to cry, if she wanted to. Is the only reason your still with because she really hot or somethin?

I agree with DC. Fucking stand up for yourself now, while you still have some semblance of self-respect left.

How have you been emotionally close to her in the past few months? You make that statement but don't give any evidence.

She treats you like shit! A girl that cared for you wouldn't be kissing other guys and flirting with 'em! I know you said you're not "impatient or anything" but you should be.

Sorry I didn't really add anything new, but I had to throw my two cents in.

Ok, first of all, how old is this girl, she sounds to be in about 7th grade and not very mature, but thats not the point, the point is, she strippen for other dudes and not you, drop her ass, cuz boy, your gettin pimped, ha I dont mean to make you feel bad but SHIT, she was kissen other guys, me and my girlfriend have a very open relashionship, and like, if I EVER saw he kissen another guy I would fuckin freak out, and if it doesnt bother you enough that you would confront her, Oh before you take that into context have you confronted her, because that probably wouldnt hurt.

But whatever happens man, good luck, it can be hard weather its been two weeks or two years.

Yes, she is really hott, but I don't know that that is the only reason I like her...damn, I don't want it to be.

We went out originally in December, things didn't work out and shortly after she said she wanted a "little break" which turned into a permanent one, which fucked with my head, which then went back to a temporary one and here we are now.

I didn't know her as well as I do now when I asked her out last time. Then now she's the one that wanted to get with me. Why would she bring the relationship thing back if she didn't like me like that?

Still, I have to admit, talking and seeing her doesn't make me happy, makes me depressed because, as I believe someone said, it's like she treats me like shit. Ah, fuck...

Seriously, dude, you don't want the kind of trouble this chick'll bring. You don't love her. And while you may have feelings for her, those will soon dissolve when she kills herself. You don't need that kind of baggage. Think about yourself for once!

quote:Originally posted by whocares123:

Yes, she is really hot...

Tee hee. Hot chicks can get away with anything!

quote: Why would she bring the relationship thing back if she didn't like me like that?

Re-read your original post. Sounds to me like this girl isn't grown-up enough to behave logically. So your attempt to find logic in her behavior is a stretch.

quote:Still, I have to admit, talking and seeing her doesn't make me happy, makes me depressed because, as I believe someone said, it's like she treats me like shit. Ah, fuck...

Sounds like you know what's what. It'll take some time for you to actually come to terms with it.

Thanks for the advice, guys. I have to go to school in a little while, and I'll be seeing her there, thinking about her, thinking about things said here..to say the least it doesn't look like a good day.

You've all pretty much said I should break up with her. But is there any way that I could go about fixing the relationship without completely ending it? I guess I have to confront her about how I feel, which I kind of did the other day when I asked her to strip for me on her cam and she said no. Damn, I had some pretty good arguments for why she should, and she just blew all of them off with a stattered response and the classic "I dunno". Maybe I'll wait a while, things don't get better I'll try talking to her best friend who I think I can confide in about problems like this.

don't do it!

you've been led astray.

you need to go up to her, maybe slap her, and tell her that her breasts which are filled with nothing but deceit and false sincerity can no longer sedate you.

then tell her to go make you some pancakes.

then walk away and never look back

I once loved (no, more thought I loved) a girl, we were dating for 7 months in total... in the beginning she hardly did any effort in seeing me (although we both like each other a lot), it was all me... but ok, everything was nice when we were alone... When there were other people around, she hardly payed any attention to me (well, not hardly, but way too little to my liking)... after four months I hardly saw her, and after that month, she moved away for a couple of months, not taking any effort in visiting me or anything...

Seemed in the end that she didn't like me like that anymore, but I had to practically drag it out of her, I had to break up, I had to do it all...

I'm not giving you advice, that's up to yourself, I'm just saying that those two months were one of the shittiest in my life... I had to stand up for myself or go down.

My happenings, your decision.

--SEmper

Tbh is she really worth it? You dont act as if your going out in public, she strips etc. Be careful or you'll end up getting your self hurt. Furthermore she wont even open up (as such) and commit sexual acts with yourself.

Spike a cigarette with some strong weed, get her feeling all giddy then take her to the cam and "Sodomize" her in front of an "Internet Audience".....make sure you tell your friends.

She pretty much ignored me the whole day today. I kind of did the same thing though, I didn't want to think, talk, or look at her. Just tried to keep my mind occupied on other things and ignore how pissed I am.

She's probably on msn right now, but I don't think I'm going on there, nothing could be accomplished from talking to her. Just make me feel worse.

Damn these women and their sick little mind tricks!

quote:Originally posted by Heiko Palm:

Spike a cigarette with some strong weed, get her feeling all giddy then take her to the cam and "Sodomize" her in front of an "Internet Audience".....make sure you tell your friends.

JUST FOLLOW MY INSTRUCTIONS GRASSHOPPER

quote:Originally posted by --SEmper:

[B]I once loved (no, more thought I loved) a girl, we were dating for 7 months in total... in the beginning she hardly did any effort in seeing me (although we both like each other a lot), it was all me... but ok, everything was nice when we were alone... When there were other people around, she hardly payed any attention to me (well, not hardly, but way too little to my liking)... after four months I hardly saw her, and after that month, she moved away for a couple of months, not taking any effort in visiting me or anything...[B]

Damn, that sounds oddly familiar. I don't think there's a painless way to deal with this problem of mine. The perfect thing would be if I talked to her about it, and she agreed to stop flirting with all these guys and focused on me. But chances of that happening are very slim.

To be honest, I don't see her ever getting physical with me..at even the very simplest levels. Before we went out, she used to give me hugs and sit close to me and all that other flirt shit. She'd tell me she had a "surprise" for me later after we went out and broke up but still liked each other I guess, which involved a kiss and showing me her underwear. I know this is all on a very simple level, but not even this shit has happened. She just used to lead me on, now she doesn't even mention it. Damn I'm pissed and hurt at the same time.

I think what I'm going to do is I'm going to confront her. Oh, it will be a painful conversation for both but it has to happen, just get everything out in the open and get it over with.

I've been thinking, how would she like it if I was constantly talking to, flirting, hugging, kissing, and even doing some sexual acts to other girls and none of that with her, nor want to do any of that with her. I am depressed, help me people, what do I say to her?

quote:Originally posted by whocares123:

I think what I'm going to do is I'm going to confront her. Oh, it will be a painful conversation for both but it has to happen, just get everything out in the open and get it over with.

I've been thinking, how would she like it if I was constantly talking to, flirting, hugging, kissing, and even doing some sexual acts to other girls and none of that with her, nor want to do any of that with her. I am depressed, help me people, what do I say to her?

Tell her you're sick an tired of her bullshit and you want your money back.

No, but seriously, just tell her you don't like the way she's been treating you and that you "don't think it's going to work" or "it's not me, it's you" or something to that effect.

Afterwards joke about it.