I like this girl and I used to be really outgoing to her and she used to want to hang out with me everyday, I mean even call ME to ask if I want to do something before I could even call her. Now since I been smoking weed alot I dont seem to act as "outgoing' as I normally did to her or everyone else. This is what I came up on while thinking. Now a days I can pick her up and she doesnt even talk to me alot. We use to talk alot and kinda flirt all the time. Even when I try to talk to her, and being Im not as outgoing as I was since I been smoking alot I usually dont know what to say and the conversation is short and gets no where. Its not that Im not as outgoing as I normally was, its that when Im high im different, I just dont talk, or dont talk as much.

Now we just talk whenever shes in her mood she talks to me alot so I just enjoy that, but it isnt seen much aymore. She is very pretty so Im pissed cause I know she used to like me and maybe does still and Im sure all these other better dudes are trying to get with her and "hollar", they probably got more money then I do too and could impress her with money and their fancy "yea I go to the U of I" talk. Still she hangs with me the most out of any guy, sexy body too. I think she digs me cause I was rubbing all over her body couple days ago, grabbing her ass and stuff too and she didnt care, didnt stop me, and that has been the first physical contact of me touching her and I dug the hell out of it. So I want her more since I know she dug that too.

I know she knows I think I dont have a chance cause Im almost 19 and I dont really got much going on for me by putting 'i dont need a guy wit money and nice cars I jus want a guy who can be himself around me and like me for me' in her profile, or it could of been a whole cousindence(sp). I think I've had many chances to 'make my move' on her and I totally blew them away cause I was too stoned or smoking. Slept in the same bed with me the same night on her bday after I had told her if she wanted to have sex with anyone why not let it be me. Wearing short shorts and a tight tanktop and I was just laying there not really paying attention to the fact that she bent over right in front of my face because I was so stoned. I realized if I had done what I done when I was all on her couple nights ago that I could of been all on her a couple of MONTHS ago, almost a YR ago, but I was too high and drunk that night. Now its hard to even talk to her, before I smoked I would just go to her house, just show up without calling and she didnt care, she actually liked it. I found that out cause I talked to her one day and said "i drove right by your house today when I went to get some food' then she said 'well you should of stopped over and came in.'

We always hung out, one of her friends even told me that she thought she liked me cause Im the first guy she ever liked to hang out with and talk to and see and chill with. Now that Im pratically always smoking every day things have changed and Ive realized that and Im even high right now. Im sure if I stopped smoking and got a job I could get this girl cause I want her baddly. I wouldnt mind a relationship but she said she jus wanna have fun so you basically know what that means right? getting laid. Dont think I just want to fuck this girl, but if its all that could happen between us then why not cause I like her alot, and for the first time this giril is very attractive.

I hope i havent already blew my chances, what do you guys think about it? Its like I would change my life around just for a chance with her.

I know for a fact I could fuck her cause I was talking about how I didnt want to know what I want to do in life then I said -i know ONE thing i wanna do the most in life tho - and she said " me too you are", then i specificaly said asked her -WHAT- because I wanted to be sure I heard what I heard then she said it again "me too you are" and with a puzzled look on my face I said 'WAIT WAIT, let me get this clear in my head. I said i know ONE THING i wanna do the most in life then you say [me too you are] .. " then she laughs and says ohh ohh sorry and im all like nO NO its ok thats perfect its jus what i been wanting but too bad you dont even know what you said and she said "I know what i said" and then it went to a different topic. So out of that I got that she wants to fuck me, that its a hint, or she was kidding?... but i doubt it.

Thing is feelings are involved too, I like the girl alot, and I have since i met her and before I knew her I thought she was realy hot and always wanted to know her. Then all of a sudden we get to know eachother and hanging out and its like the BEST thing i could ask for and I think I blew it all already once cause we dont hang out like that anymore on a every day basis. Its now like every other day the next day, or maybe just on weekends, like a fri or saturday but its never just US. Its always a friend of hers and a friend of mine, or just me and her and a friend of hers. I think to myself sometimes she hangs out the most with me when a friend of mine comes in from outta town and she got a crush on him. He had his head on her shoulder in the car and was tryin to mack on her. telling me he was rubbin all on her and I was pissed. I was pissed when I seen his head on her shoulder but that isnt nothing and he isnt her type, trust me. It was jus a head on her shoulder, but when Im always high Im thinking they like eachother and it always ruin the night for me.

Always high. but what pissed me off the most is that I liked her before and I asked her if i ever had a chance and she said 'never' , then i asked "ever' and she said 'never' and it was cruel and it tore a fucking hole in my heart and I dont know why I continued to talk to her after that. I know why, because I want to do HER! Since its the most I think that can happen. Maybe a chance of a relationship if I stop smoking weed so much and change back to my old self because weed gets you depressed doesnt it?

please respond, i had all that shit up in me for a while. Isnt like you can go to a friend with all what I've said I keep my shit to myself, so basically this is my first post. I've been around awhile reading things on totse and find this a very informative site. I noticed by a number of the forums there are people out there in the world that think and feel the same way I do on things. sorry it was so long, i had nothing to do since I woke up at around 3am and smoked a blunt and now its 5:37am and Iam very high. I think the whole solution is I need to quit smoking, give it a long break until I get things straighten out in life.

All that could be summed up in one sentence.

I'm a pothead virgin who doesn't really need your help, but I just got close to shagging for the first time ever and need to brag.

Thanks Trippy, I'm glad SOMEONE IN THIS FUCKING PLACE CAN KEEP THINGS SIMPLE.

I played that game where you guess someone's postcount from their stupidity factor, I guessed he had less than 10 posts. He has 2.

jesus god....

How about this: You want to do more, but weed is stopping you, right? THEN FUCKING QUIT. If you can smoke and have no trouble with things, that's great...but it sounds like it is hurting your attempt to reach a goal.

Weed > Sex, anyday.

No Im not a pothead virgin. I get laid. I just want this girl more then any other so its the only girl I want to try anything with.

its probably the weed, i need to cut back on it.

then when im with this girl again and when I try something if she doesnt go along Im going to just stop talking to her and move on.

thanks anyway though no one came with too much real advice for me.

Because nobody believes you need it.

Trippy is my new favourite poster.

ok, now dude, one day, when you catch her all by herself, go up to her, and say, recently, ive been doing alot of thinking, and i realised that before i started smoking and drinking, you were a very important part of my life, but it seems to have drifted(or something, just use your imagination), now i have decided that i want that important part of my life to come back, and im willing to change for you...and maybe a nice poem...i dunno, make it heartfelt, this is a guideline...

Yea I'd do what -Trench Coat Mafia- said but rejection would hurt. Your idea does seem like a very good one. I could do that, tell her all that in person and maybe even write a poem. I'll do that and come back with the results.



thanks.