blah. this is my life... again.

so i haven't been around a lot lately, i know this. all my time has been monopolized by her. stephanie. i love her, i hate her. i'm all kinds of messed up in the head now. very confused... need to staighten this all out. let me start from the begining.

about 3 months ago, i started dating a new girl. we were both fresh off the rebound and met due to mutual friends. things went great from the start, and we were fucking within a week of the start. at first everything was amazing. blinded by the infatuation, you know how it goes.

then i start getting to know her more. there are a lot of things i dont like about her. she's very blunt, way too open, impolite, and has a dirty past. this last one especially bothers me. go figure. but we get along great, so i ignore all of these things and have a great time.

well we fell for each other hard and fast. now, the infatuation is starting to wear off and i dont know if i really love her or not. i don't know if i still want to be with her or not. i think about other girls.. a lot. how it would be to date them, how much better they would be... you know. but she's madly in love with me. i dont want to hurt her. and honestly, it's still fun and great. im just freaking out a little.

another thing, she has some emotional problems. chemical imbalances and such. she sometimes hurts herself when she gets depressed, and i dont want to be the cause of it. it's like im always walking on eggshells.

recently, we've been firghting more often... not even fighting, just bickering a lot. and sometimes i really dot want to be near her. but other times i do. i always need to be with someone.

rahh.... im confused about what to do. should i stay with her, and be kind of happy, or find someone else... what do i do here? there is another girl i want to be with too, but again, i dont know her very well, and it might not be as good. im confused.

You know what man? I know exactly how you feel. It really sucks too. I dont really know what to tell you....just dont be like me and take it like a champ.

eyesore, it was a rebound romance, don't take it so hard most of us have them at some stage.

if your thinking like you are then maybe you need to weigh up the pros and cons of being with her and c what happens, if more cons then dump her.

she sounds like she has a few problems that she needs help with, dont let her drag you down.

good luck

Honey! I missed you! Good to see you back 'round again..

If you don't like her anymore, you don't like her. End it now before you start hating being around her and things get really fucked up. She sounds like she'll try to talk you into staying with her. When you break up, break up for good and give her space (no talking on the phone or hanging out, these things will give her false hope and make her hold on longer). If she handles it like a rational human being, maybe you guys can stay friends. If not, you can get a restraining order.

You've only been going out for 3 months so it's not like you'd be ripping soulmates apart or anything. Just don't wait too long. This girl is all wrong for you, you see it, and admit it to yourself. What are you doing by staying with her? Getting temporary satisfaction of being with someone, superficial hapiness: bad stuff.

If the reasons you listed are why you don't want her, then you obviously don't love her. Those are character traits, love (I think) isn't based on how the person acts or how they are. Love has no conditions.

i missed you too mojo... but this chick is taking all my time.

well, it's not that i don't like her anymore, there are just times that i don't like her. she bothers me sometimes. she gets a little annoying, but on the whole, shes cool. i dunno, it's hard to explain. like, most of the time she's great, and she makes me totally happy. but then, every once in a while, she just bothers me.

and im starting to feel trapped again. this happened last time too, with jenna, but it's happening earlier with her.

maybe i'm just freaking out about nothing... who knows. i think im going to give it a few weeks, and maybe read the situation. maybe if i ignore it it'll go away. or maybe she'll start feeling it too.

Dude take it from me...It may be fun now but give it time and that bickering will become big arguments leading to you screaming, her screaming, her crying and...Well...Let's just say "Keep sharp objects out of reach"!

I have a buddy who went out with a self-harming chick...She would incite arguments and he'd retalliate and she'd go do something stupid like cut herself.

Just get outta there man.

That's my thought on the subject.

I agree with all those telling you to cut out. You are not responsible for her reaction, and if you don't love her you are not doing her any favors by staying. Rebound relationships get too close too fast. Just fuck around for a while.

ok, contrary to what lots of people said, id say, stay with her for awhile, eh,..a few weeks, because shit like this happens...but dont be too close, dont be too far...just be like, i need personal time...maybe its totse withdrawal...lol....but no, give it abit, if shit dont improve, let her go, chicks that cut themselves(i know a few of these as friends), are just, really unstable...

Just so I'm not misunderstood.

Don't break up with her becaues she cuts herself, or is blunt, and impolite etc etc. I don't think those are reasons to break up with anyone (unless it's a shallow relationship and you don't truly care for the person.

The sole reason I'd encourage you to break up with her is because of your feelings. You could love a former slut with chemical iimbalances just fine. It's not who she is, it's how you feel. Whether or not those things affect your feelings about her I don't know and I don't need to know.

If you stick with her, that's cool. Really think about it though once the cons start to outweigh the pros. If there's no real love involoved why would torture yourself (an her) like that anyway?

Fights with Stephanie or hot sex and conversations with ******? You gotta think of the alternatives and their worth of your time and emotions blah blah blah.

Dude... been there done that.. actually I am there now, we are broken up right now, becuase she drove me f-ing insane and now I'm going to see a shrink starting Wednesday. Actually it wasn't all her fault, we were in love.. for a time. I lost that love i had for her, i dunno when and i dunno how but its lost, i tried to bring it up like, "can we just try to be friends?" or "I think we're seeing to much of each other". Anyways, those would just end up as her crying, me saying sorry and taking back everything I said and telling her I still love her (which I didn't) she is psycho. She really is. She said "I cant live without you.." so if I dumped her.. what.. she is gonna fucking kill herself? like I can have that on my consiounce? So I told her I need a break from all this shit and im gonna see a shrink since "she cares soo much about me I'm willing to wait for you till your ready." Well I dont wanna go back, and I cant tell you cause your freakin pshyco and your gonna cut yourself or worse, kill yourself!!!!!!!!!!! And now, she might be pregnant so I have that on my fucking shoulders right now! I did her up the butt, I pulled out but I'm concerned that either a little cum, or pre-cum leaked out and went into her pussy, I'm scared as shit right now. I honestly couldn't handle it if she were pregnant. (we didnt use a condom) Anyways, what I'm trying to get at (after all this bitching) is break it off now, trust me I probably started feeling like you did a couple months ago but I never broke it off, wish I did, i wouldnt be in all this worthless, hopeless shit right now. I'm never going to get seriously involved with a girl again.

MrMojoRisin's advice is of course good. You should break up with her. It was only because of the rebound, and she probably seemed better than the single alternative at the time and became god-like for that reason. It happens to us all. As MMR said, break up with her for YOUR feelings. Fighting is bad for you, and if she is imbalanced etc, you will continue to fight. If you string this relationship along, her hurt will be directly varying...Another couple weeks will could be the difference between "this kind of sucks" for her and "this is the end of the world". She needs somebody to help her about her cutting and her emotional problems, and you can not be that guy. It will hurt both of you.

Just know that you are not the cause of her being depressed if you leave her. As much as it may seem like it, many people who have such problems look for reasons to be upset (conciously or subconciously). Breaking up can be one of those reasons. It is NOT your fault. You gave it your best shot. The worst things you could do for yourself are a)sticking with her, or b) feeling that You personally hurt her.

Sorry about your problems too, Bazooka Joe, Don't give up on love all together, just dont fall in love too soon someone good will come along.

well, i've been thinking about it. i've come to a decision....

i'm going to stay in it... for now. i'm taking a 3 week trial period. i figure, there's a good chance that these stupid feelings i'm having will dissipate. i've had them before, maybe i'm just freaking out about nothing. on the other hand, if they don't go away, i'll end it.

thanks for all the advice guys, if anything new developes, i'll keep you posted.

I wonder if Dear Abby knew how much of her advice went unheeded.

besides all of that.... now would just be a bad time to break it off. i'll wait for the oportunistic moment. i really don't want to do it now. mayeb im procrastinating, but on the same token, shes having a lot of problems at home now, and this would really worsen her depression. i'll wait till things cool off there first. and maybe in the mean time, the infatuation will wear off for her too.

AHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

this is so hard.... i don't want to hurt her. but i really feel like she likes me a lot more than i like her. she tells me how she's never felt this way about anyone before, and i'm so good to her, and im all she thinks about, and how if it wasn't for me she might not have made it through these problems with her stepdad...

and the whole time, it just makes me feel like shit. how can i leave her like that? she tells me how i'm too good for her and she doesn't deserve me... she's got no self esteem. then the second we fight, she apologizes and makes me feel even worse. the whole time that she's saying all of this, i just think how bad it's going to hurt her when i finally do it. how do i handle this situation?

I know you won't like this but, why don't you tell someone about her cutting? Parents, school councilors, whatever.

It works. If it's serious she'll get some serious help. If it's a stupid teenage attention-whoring thing, she'll be so embarrassed, and irritated by the constant surveillance she'll stop.

ehh, it's not for attention.... she's been to councilors and shit, she wants to stop but it's like an addiction she says. i can't really relate, i've never done it. im just really confused and unhappy.

quote:Originally posted by EyeSore:

stephanie. i love her, i hate her.

Got Emo? Kill her and hide the AIDS-ridden body, then cram your eggshells up your love-hate ass. Matter of fact, you might as well kill yourself with the knowledge that half the people on totse have pounded the bitch's cunt, myself excluded (I like to avoid burning sensations when I pee)