whats the best way for a guy to masterbate

With his hand...

Stalefish.

with your right foot

Chili pepper and tuna fish. w00t.

With a girl.

With a U not an E.

1 wrap hand around penis

2 pump hand up and down

3 profit(moneyshot)

fuck the bed. HUMP IT!

quote:Originally posted by $creaming/\lbino:

fuck the bed. HUMP IT!

Inside a banana peel.



j/k

Get a gun cleaning kit. See that little bristle thingie which you pump in and out throught the barrel toclean it? ram that down your cock. Now start wanking off. the bristles inside your cock will stimulate you, and you will have teh mad dope crazy fly cumshots.

.Doot..Do...doot.*cough*..immatures..*cough*..do.. dooot.

Edit: Tis Masturbation,tis aint?

Why not question yourself and find the answers your own?

You cant depend on me, to provide you with a solution.

Pardon my english..

[This message has been edited by Paleweiße_ebonite (edited 02-15-2004).]

what is it with kids and their inability to use the resources alotted to them by the internet. There is a usefull little thing called google, just give me a sec.......here we go....jackinworld.com, there you are, have fun and don't let mommy catch you.

1. Get a corkscrew

2. jam it up your anus

3. get another corkscrew

4. now jam that down your pee-hole

5. move to Utah

6. call your self "Heith"

quote:Originally posted by Nzyme:

With a U not an E.

indeed

quote:Originally posted by Paleweiße_ebonite:

Why not question yourself and find the answers your own?

That sounded very "monkey from the Lion King-ish".

Well so you want to masturbate, ok here it is, but it is a very complicated process.

1.Go into bathroom.

2.Lock door.

3.Get a lubricant.

4.Remove pants.

5.Remove underwear.

6.Put lubricant on hand.

7.Put hand on penis.

8.Rub penis until erection is acheived.

9.Place hand around penile shaft.

10.Proceed to pump penile shaft.

11.Wait for a sticky white liquid to emerge from penis.(see note at bottom)

12.Wipe away liquid with tissue.

13.Throw away said tissue.

14.Pull up underwear.

15.Pull up pants.

16.Wash hands.

17.Put away lubricant.

18.Exit bathroom.



Note: Do not ingest the sticky white liquid. This is an indication of possible homosexual tendancy/extreme unusuallness.

I hope that helps.

quote:Originally posted by Charles Thunder:

Stalefish.

I read this, and the first image in my mind was that of a skater ten feet above a vert ramp, jacking off. Jesus.

quote:Originally posted by tony47ak:

12.Wipe away liquid with tissue.

13.Throw away said tissue.



Alternatively, you could always use those damn teddy bears that are like an army in your sisters room.