I really screwed up. I'm seeing this girl and we're friends and some more than that but not an exclusive couple.

We both attend group therapy and last night was bad for me. I remembered a lot of things I didn't want to and ended up feeling very afraid/vulnerable. She gave me a ride home and we were on very good times at that point.

I should've gone to bed right then. I wanted to be alone. She IM'ed me and I should've told her I was tired and going to bed (at 8 pm!). I was still feeling very bad and I wanted to lash out at someone. She started talking about having dinner with another girl friend. This other gf is heterosexual but my friend is attracted to her (she is bi). I knew this and I basically said "Wow, so-in-so is hot, if you to got together then .. wow."

Now my friend her and gf have no chance of getting together because her friend is hetero, so my saying that was basically a taunt aimed to get her angry.

As soon as I said that I came to my senses and realized some of the damage I'd done. I tried to back off and talk my way out of it like a coward. The convo ended badly. I felt like shit (not even knowing how she felt, only knowing she was really mad). I went to bed at 9 pm and slept until 9 am.

Today I called her and begged for forgiveness. I told her why I felt afraid/vulnerable and why I lashed out like I did. She said she was unsure if she wanted to she me anymore, understandably. The kind of insult I gave her was targeted to specifically make her angry/feel bad. She actually said that I could'nt have said anything to make her feel any worse than what I said. I used to be proud of my ability to piss people off like this, but now karma has come round and fucked me over.

She demanded assurance I would never do it again. I honestly felt like shit. I've insulted people like this before, but never someone I really cared about. I told her honestly what I felt at that moment and what I thought about her. I asked her if she thought she might still she me, and she said she wanted to, yes.

I felt good after that. I had been damned and now I was redeemed in the eyes of someone I care about and who cares about me back. I had the illusion that everything was going to be the way it was. I'm so stupid!

I talked to her later on IM and she said what I said still hurts her, that although I might go on acting as though nothing has changed, it has still changed a lot for her.

Then she went to a concert and is there now. She just called me on cell and she wanted to ask me a specific question. The question was: When I typed what I did in IM was I thinking about her and her friend as lovers (something that will never happen which is very painful for my friend)? I answered no, I wasn't thinking about the two of them when I wrote that. That's true. I wasn't thinking when I said what I said, I was in pain and I did a cowardly thing.

During one of our IM convos she said she'd never intentionally hurt me and I agreed that I would show her the same courtesy. Well, now I've rubbed that in the dirt and I told her so, and I said I'd understand if she didn't want to see me again.

Does anyone think she'll be able to forgive me for this? Have I gone to far?

Wtf... is she MENTAL? You were tired and pissed, you made a simple mistake, she shouldn't take it so fucking personally. It's not like you actually went and said "dude, it'd be so hot if you two hooked up... and then I joined you..." and whatnot. Just chill man, you didn't do anything wrong. She's just being a psycho.

[This message has been edited by guernica (edited 02-13-2004).]

Tell that bitch to be cool.

There is a difference between a real problem and drama. Guess what this is...

What a baby.

I think she's taking advantage of your remorse and running with it. I understand you felt like shit, I understand you feel like shit, however, she'll take that vunerablity and use it to her advantage. You didn't even say anything *that* bad. Good god..

[This message has been edited by MrMojoRisin (edited 02-13-2004).]

I know what you're feeling man. I didn't feel like reading past the 3 paragraph. I have been where you are.

Except I wrote a song, that got my friend really upset, we went out. Bad break up.

She has a low self esteem, and reading what I wrote in the song, took her to the lowest depths of self esteem she ever could have had.

I made her feel the like she was the best girl in the world, and I fucked up, wrote a song, that made her fall.

She told me to go on, and leave her behind, I didn't want to, I told her that we would get through this. We did. She is back where she belongs, way up above me. I adore her. [she saved my life twice]

Whatever you did to make her feel happy, do that times 10, 100 or a billion. It should work. Thats the only advice I can give. Thats all I had to do.

Good luck.

Well, since it takes one to know one, it sounds to me like the poor girl was PMS'ing. Talk about making mountains out of molehills!

My advice: stay away from the bitch.

She is obviously screwed up in the head and it is unhealthy to be involved with her.

Seems to me that things will be ok.

Eventualy.

You've got some work to do to get her trust back.

quote:Originally posted by deadlycindy:

Well, since it takes one to know one, it sounds to me like the poor girl was PMS'ing. Talk about making mountains out of molehills!

I don't think that's it cindy. Her period isn't until the end of the month (she was on it during the superbowl).

I'm going to ask her if she really thinks that what I said was the worst thing I could've said to make her feel bad. Obviously it isn't. I could've said things to make her cry on the spot and she didn't cry when I said this.

If she still insists this is the worst thing I could say and doesn't back down from her leeching apologies I'm going to dump her. I apologized three times already and she still has it in her head that I'm out to hurt her. And I quote, "Joeb, I don't want to be your punching bag". punching bag?! Puh-leeze.

quote:Originally posted by Prometheus:

Seems to me that things will be ok.

Eventualy.

You've got some work to do to get her trust back.

Let me guess.. women walk all over you and then don't give you any?

Hahaha, Anyone who thinks Joeb did anything seriously wrong is a tool.

i jokingly called one of my friends who is a girl fat once, she was pretty pissed off. I apologized a couple times and felt bad but then it just got ridiculous what with her being all pissy over it 2 weeks after the fact. She's not fat, not even close, and knows it and knew i was joking so i just ignored her and she forgave me pretty quick then.

quote:Originally posted by The Misfit:

i jokingly called one of my friends who is a girl fat once, she was pretty pissed off. I apologized a couple times and felt bad but then it just got ridiculous what with her being all pissy over it 2 weeks after the fact. She's not fat, not even close, and knows it and knew i was joking so i just ignored her and she forgave me pretty quick then.

I don't know why you'd even do that as a joke. I've never met a girl who laughed at being called fat.

quote:Originally posted by The Misfit:

i jokingly called one of my friends who is a girl fat once, she was pretty pissed off. I apologized a couple times and felt bad but then it just got ridiculous what with her being all pissy over it 2 weeks after the fact. She's not fat, not even close, and knows it and knew i was joking so i just ignored her and she forgave me pretty quick then.

HAHA pretty much the same thing happened to me.

*smacks all girls on principle*

WHAT THE FUCK???

Holy shit you're a pansy. Reading this, I can't even remotely relate to your problem because I can't imagine ever being that much of a whiney-bitch pussy. Fuck, you're insane. You said something about her and another chick. Oh my god, it's the end of the world. All my relationships with all my friends are built upon being assholes to eachother. If you have to step around subjects, that's a shitty friendship. That said, she's fucking with you! I don't know why you can't see this. She would have to be completely fucked in the head to get so offended at something like that. There's just no way she's telling the truth here. She's not really that hurt, she just wants you to think she is so that you'll value the friendship more or some dumb shit like that.

And what the hell kind of girls do you know that none of them would laugh at being called fat? If I ever say anything to any of my guy friends about looking fat or anything close to that, they immediately tell me how much of a gigantic cow I am. And I laugh. Because they're joking. Holy fuck you're a fucking pansy.

quote:Originally posted by GlitterPunk112358:

WHAT THE FUCK???

Holy shit you're a pansy. Reading this, I can't even remotely relate to your problem because I can't imagine ever being that much of a whiney-bitch pussy. Fuck, you're insane. You said something about her and another chick. Oh my god, it's the end of the world. All my relationships with all my friends are built upon being assholes to eachother. If you have to step around subjects, that's a shitty friendship. That said, she's fucking with you! I don't know why you can't see this. She would have to be completely fucked in the head to get so offended at something like that. There's just no way she's telling the truth here. She's not really that hurt, she just wants you to think she is so that you'll value the friendship more or some dumb shit like that.

And what the hell kind of girls do you know that none of them would laugh at being called fat? If I ever say anything to any of my guy friends about looking fat or anything close to that, they immediately tell me how much of a gigantic cow I am. And I laugh. Because they're joking. Holy fuck you're a fucking pansy.

For once a girl understands the situation.