Okay... i know this is dumb... and this thread has probably been made a thousand times... and it might be the wrong forum... but I need help kids...

Okay here goes... me and a friend of mine have been sex buddies for like, i dunno, a few months... well the problem is Im in love with him deeply... and i cant tell him that cuz he is in love with someone else. This is tearing me up... what do you guys think I should do? Any suggestions on things I can do to maybe try to get over him or anything? PLZ HELP!

~!~Amber~!~

Sex without commitment...

Whats not to like?!

Your gonna have a hard time changing how he percieves you. I think your gonna end up heart broken if you tell him because he will assume that you fell in love with him cause of the sex which was supposed to be just physical.

But you may aswell enjoy the sex and see how your relationship with him plays out.

[This message has been edited by Anthrax (edited 02-10-2004).]

quote:Originally posted by johnson:

Okay... i know this is dumb... and this thread has probably been made a thousand times... and it might be the wrong forum... but I need help kids...

Okay here goes... me and a friend of mine have been sex buddies for like, i dunno, a few months... well the problem is Im in love with him deeply... and i cant tell him that cuz he is in love with someone else. This is tearing me up... what do you guys think I should do? Any suggestions on things I can do to maybe try to get over him or anything? PLZ HELP!

~!~Amber~!~



You don't deserve a real BF if you sleep with random people/

quote:Originally posted by maurovz:



You don't deserve a real BF if you sleep with random people/

Woah, dont be so harsh, it's not a random it's a fuckbuddy. Which makes it totally fine.

^^^ thankyou. And FYI... asshole Jake is the ONLY person I have been with for the last seven months... so file that one into your ethics category you faggott fuck... if you dont have anything positive to say... u can just go on without leaving a comment like that or just eat my ass or something dickhead. Good day to you.

~!~Amber~!~

No other ideas???

~!~Amber~!~

quote:Originally posted by johnson:

if you dont have anything positive to say...

Gah, there's another thread where another young woman wants to enter into a fuck-buddy situation and "doesn't want the guy to think she wants something more out of it." I typed up a lengthy reply which encouraged her to think seriously about the probable consequences of falling for him, but I hit the "back button" instead, since she wasn't asking for that kind of advice.

This sort of thing is inevitable. If you like the sex AND you like the guy, of course you're going to fall for him! Humans are dumb, and females are irrational. Hormones get the best of us every time. And it's not something you can see coming until you're already too far into it.

I don't think a fuck-buddy has many rights. You can't go dropping the bomb on a guy with whom you had an understanding from the outset that this was just about sex. It's sort of a breach of contract. Especially if he loves someone else, which makes me wonder why the hell he's fucking you.

All I can say is quit fucking him now. No "last time" or anything. You don't owe him any sort of explanation. And find yourself a nice guy who will give you what you want and need in all respects.

You can get your heart broken or you can try to change his mind. (http://www.totse.com/bbs/Archives/Archive-000002/HTML/20031016-4-004598.html)

i wanted to post, but dc said exactly all the things i wanted to say

besides one thing

relax amber, don't mind dumb flamers, they're always around, just ignore 'm , no use wastin time and energy on them

You can't make someone love you, but do have a talk with him too see exactly how he feels, cause you never know, right?

But if he doesn't want to be anything more than fuck buddies, just stop seeing him completely. If you don't see him, your feelings will eventually fizzle.

Haha, fizzle. I'm so gay.

[This message has been edited by Sick_Boy (edited 02-10-2004).]

This happened to me too. My ex and I were fuck buddies but both fell in love again. I don't know how long it took for us to figure out we'd both fallen for each other again. After a while I finally told him and we're together now.

All you can do is talk it through and hope for the best. Take it slowly, don't just drop this to him. Hang out during the day and after a couple of hours of just being friends and having a great time tell him that you'd like to talk to him. Sit him down and explain(without sounding obsessive or clingy) how you feel. Don't overload him with information.

Good luck, I hope you're as lucky as I was. x

^ Or it could turn out bad. Me and my ex were fuck-buddies for awhile, and sure enough she told me she still had feelings for me. After that we stopped, cause I dun want feeling for her, all I wanted was a nice fuck every now and then...

Sick_Boy, your name is the shit. I love Social Distortion.

Oh and to be relevent. It it hard to turn a fuck buddy relationship into something more. I mean the whole point is to not be attached. Then again I think having these kind of feelings is inevitable. Take a break from it for a while, maybe he will realize what he is really missing out on. I can't guarantee anything but at least if you do break it off now it won't hurt you as bad in the end. Also I found if you break those kind of relationships off you tend to realize that you don't really like the person you just think you do, because normally when you share things like that it is to be expected. This could go a million ways.

quote:Originally posted by JesusTookMyBike123:

Sick_Boy, your name is the shit. I love Social Distortion.



This is so off-topic, but didn't GBH do the song "sick boy" and Social D did a song called "rude boy"? I quit listening to punk in 1986.

Social D has a song called Sick Boy, but if I remember correctly her name is based on the Trainspotting character, not the song.

I would say something more relevant, but I have nothing to add.

Well I want to thank you all for your comments. I had a talk with him earlier... and you know what I got for my birthday??? Self realization. I realized exactly what kind of person he is... which isnt exactly a good one. I realized exactly why i didnt persue a relationship with him before. I dont know. I mean I care deeply for him still... but I think it is time to go on with my life... look for someone that will be as good to me as I am to them. That would be nice to be loved back for a change. You guys (well most of you) are good people for helping me through this. I dont think people realize exactly how much there effect has on a person... I just want to say thankyou to all that took the time to present me with some good ideas. Thanks!

~!~Amber~!~

johnson you a hoe... buddy-fucking slut.