Okay, in order for you to understand me completely I need to tell you a story…

***Note to all assholes out there--this is important to me. It may sound cheesy and middle schoolish but this is the kind of girl that just flips you upside down inside out left and right forget your name kinda incredible person to be around. Please don't give me any bullshit. Thanks

So I’m 15, well I was 15 years old… I met a girl, we “go out” for a couple weeks and then I called it quits in fear that she did not like me…turns out I believe she cried when we broke up but all that is besides the point. Anyway, her and my best friend started “going out” but at that time we started talking and hanging out more. As days pass we started seeing each other quite often and started to grow this “special” kind of relationship that was just between her and I. For hours we would lie on her bed in her room and just stare into each others eyes. It was obvious that we both wanted to basically just jump on each other. It was like we could read each other’s minds. And literally we basically did. Finally she decided that her and my friend were not going to work out because we were on the verge of going insane from not being able to show any physical affection. So, she dumps him and we start going back out that day. The connection we had was just absolutely incredible. We would make out for hours and hours. I feel that at the time that was all we needed. I mean just looking into each others eyes was better than sex so I can’t even begin to describe how kissing felt.

Well, about 4 months past…my life had never felt more perfect. She decided to call it quits. We never had sex…maybe that’s why? Was she too sexually frustrated w/ me? I wanted to have sex but never had the guts to talk about it or try anything more than 3rd base. I think I had too much respect for her…I didn’t want to lose her or something. Since I didn’t even have the gut’s to talk about it makes me feel we were too young to be really ready anyway. Honestly I really don’t think that was the reason she dumped me. Anyway, so I was heartbroken and we eventually moved on.

Now, I am 20 years old. There has not been a single day or moment in the last 5 years that I have not thought of her. I have been ever so growingly absolutely head over heels in love with this girl now ever since we broke up. I used to write her letters, but never send them; I would write poems but never recite them, songs that were never sung and stay up countless nights just thinking and thinking of holding her again. I have had it set in my mind ever since we were together that one day I was going to marry this girl no matter what. I have been with other people and not ONE has even come close to making me feel the way she makes me feel. Not a single woman on this planet could ever come close to resembling the beauty she has. She is a flawless angel from heaven and I could never even dream of seeing any evil in her no matter what she does.

In the last 5 years we still talked and saw each other occasionally. Every time we see each other when I look into her eyes all our old feelings resurface like throwing a basketball into the water. And it really seems that she knows and feels me as well. But…every time our little “dates” came to an end I always left feeling like an idiot that I never told her how I “really” felt yet again, and never even tried to kiss her at least one more time. Just the other day she came over to jump my car and got stuck in the driveway from the snow. It took us about an hour to get her car out. As she was about to leave we were sitting in her car and just talking about stuff. It felt very peaceful and little romantic in a strange kind of way. Anyway, I was in the driver’s seat at the time and had to go to work so we decided to go. She got out to get in the drivers side and just before she got into her car we hugged like we always do. And when we hug it’s like I just got back from the war or we were never going to see each other again. They’re pretty special but anyway, I decided to finally plant one right on her lips. I told her I was sorry but have wanted to do that for a very long time. She told me I’d better be sorry and gave me one right back. We kissed a few more times and she drove away smiling. The next day she came over again and we watched a movie. At one point I paused the movie and told her that I really needed to tell her something. I put my hand on her leg, looked her in the eyes and told her that I have liked her for a very long time but feel all twisted up inside because I don’t know how she felt. She told me she was surprised when I kissed her and not in a bad way but is just getting over a really serious relationship, as am I actually as well. She did put her head on my shoulder and hold my hand right after though. When she left we lightly kissed again and now I still really don’t know what to do. I feel like after 5 years and I cant believe it’s been this long, I cant just run up and tell her that instead of just liking her a lot for 5 years I’ve actually been madly in love with her and feel am destined to marry her now can I? I really wish I could tell her all my true feelings but am worried I will scare her off forever. What should I do?

P.S. She's kinda weird sometimes...I don't get it at all. One month she'll answer her phone like every time I call and act like she just has to see me and the next month I'll leave countless messages, send flowers and small gifts and she wont ever call back or say thank you. I don't over do the whole calling or gift thing at all either.....??????????



[This message has been edited by cyberphreak2600 (edited 02-03-2004).]

quote:Originally posted by cyberphreak2600:

So, she dumps him and we start going back out that day.

some best friend you are...

quote:Originally posted by Mazzy12345:

some best friend you are...



yeah, seriously ... should at least, AT LEAST wait a week ... if not longer, out of respect for your friend ...

[This message has been edited by devilsAngel (edited 02-03-2004).]

Dude, you are clueless. Oh well. As long as it works for you.

quote:Originally posted by cyberphreak2600:



P.S. She's kinda weird sometimes...I don't get it at all. One month she'll answer her phone like every time I call and act like she just has to see me and the next month I'll leave countless messages, send flowers and small gifts and she wont ever call back or say thank you. I don't over do the whole calling or gift thing at all either.....??????????





So don't try to make any moves on her while she's in one of her pissy months. Wait until she's all good and receptive to you. But don't, DON'T tell her how strongly you feel quite yet. That's just creepy.

I would suggest waiting for a bit while she gets over her previous relationship. And then go for a relationship again. Just don't try to freeze up and all. You need to tell her something like that in a relationship I think. It's ok outside, but often times it scares people. One thing that can screw you up is if you run over how to do it over and over in your mind. Worst thing that I could do. You just have to let your words flow.

As to the weird thing, maybe she just has a tough time of the month. Some people get it worse than others. My g/f has to stay home for a day or two because her cramps and all get so bad. So either she feels like crap, or she stays away sometimes when its super bad, so she doesn't go total bitch by accident and ruin things between you two.

Anyways hope it works out for you dude! Good Luck!

quote:Originally posted by Mazzy12345:

some best friend you are...

Yeah...you're right it wasn't a very friendly move at all. It took me a while to even tell him as well but when I did, it was all good. He said he honestly didn't care anyway and he's glad I was happy. Now that is a good friend.

Thanks to everyone for replying so quickly with good advice. I can't believe you all even take the time to read through this mess. You are all very much appreciated!

Wow, that was actually interesting to read, how refreshing!

Sounds like things are going your way... be patient, but not too patient. Don't let her slip away again. You also need to figure out some way of opening up to this girly. It would do wonders for her if she knew you were madly in love. Love is a GOOD thing, people like knowing their loved. Tell her, don't push her, but tell her everything. Then wait and see what happens.

Dude...I'm about a year younger than you...But here are some wise words that you should take into consideration.

"Live every day like it's your last."

If you love someone...Tell them.

As you've no doubt experienced, keeping it bottled up leads to sadness because they don't know how you feel.

Telling them holds a 50/50 chance of them feeling the same way or not feeling the same way.

If they do love you in return then good.

If they don't then whatever...Just keep going...Maybe one day they'll feel the same way...Maybe they'll leave you straight away.

Either way you know what the situation is between you both.

Whatever the situation is, just keep moving onwards.

Hope that helps in some way.

From what I read, it seems like you're on the right track. It's good to hear that you told her how you felt, regardless of how she reacted. Keep in mind that she had just come out of the relationship, so she felt understandably vulnerable. I'd keep letting her know you're thinking about her, support her, not rush, but not wait TOO long, as others mentioned. If you support her forever out of love, but never take the initiative to remind her of how you feel, you won't get anywhere. She'll eventually get over the relationship, but I'd try to avoid becoming a rebound boyfriend, because from what I read it seems like you care about her too much for that. Good luck!

My only advice is this: try not to scare her off, some girls can get scred away when guys get serious too quicly before they figure themselves out. Also, maybe wait a bit before getting serious since shes on the rebound (rebound girls are easy but dont last long).

quote:Originally posted by Sarcophagus:

Wow, that was actually interesting to read, how refreshing!

Sounds like things are going your way... be patient, but not too patient. Don't let her slip away again. You also need to figure out some way of opening up to this girly. It would do wonders for her if she knew you were madly in love. Love is a GOOD thing, people like knowing their loved. Tell her, don't push her, but tell her everything. Then wait and see what happens.



I used to be a really shy person...I guess some of it's still in there. I get so worried I will scare her off and stuff but you're right I got to tell her everything. I could lose her anyway and live the rest of my life always wishing/wondering what WOULD of happened if I told her. Love is a good thing. I should not be worried anyway. She's such a sweet girl that even if she did not love me at all she woould never just throw me away. We might even get closer because of it and then maybe who knows...maybe after a while it'll finally dawn on her that she really loves me too. Thanks a lot.

quote:Originally posted by bunghole:

My only advice is this: try not to scare her off, some girls can get scred away when guys get serious too quicly before they figure themselves out. Also, maybe wait a bit before getting serious since shes on the rebound (rebound girls are easy but dont last long).

...As this is also true

quote:Originally posted by psycho_8b:

Dude...I'm about a year younger than you...But here are some wise words that you should take into consideration.

"Live every day like it's your last."

If you love someone...Tell them.

As you've no doubt experienced, keeping it bottled up leads to sadness because they don't know how you feel.

Telling them holds a 50/50 chance of them feeling the same way or not feeling the same way.

If they do love you in return then good.

If they don't then whatever...Just keep going...Maybe one day they'll feel the same way...Maybe they'll leave you straight away.

Either way you know what the situation is between you both.

Whatever the situation is, just keep moving onwards.

Hope that helps in some way.



Thanks. This would be better than always wondering that's for sure. At least I would know that I gave it my best and wouldn't have to feel so bottled up. Feeling free is always better than being captive. You're right, maybe one day she will feel the same way if she dosn't love me in return already.

For everyone responding with the "tell all, maybe she'll take it really good and love me back in return" attitude towards my situation...I was thinking maybe it's possible that she's been waiting for something like that from me for forever. And, whenever our sparks start to re-kindle the fire again I always blow it because I never tell how how I REALLY feel. Maybe she's been frustrated too many times but still has some bit of faith left that one day I MIGHT tell her what's really going on in my mind and then when I don't, she goes her seperate way for a while yet again. I mean nobody is a TRUE mind reader so maybe she is always unsure just like me and would rather leave us alone because it is causing nothing but confusion...

...Or maybe she just really dosn't feel the same way I do and dosn't want to break my heart...but rather just leave me astray to wonder....Hopefully not.

We'll it took 5 years to finally make my first step. To hell with waiting that long again! I got to do something...just how...when? I do believe I should wait at least a little while though to let her reflect on her own life and past b/f relationship situation. It couldn't hurt. After all she did say she needed some time. I should stop with calling her for a little while it might be too confusing right now. Valentines Day is soon though. I got to at least give her something....I still, am lost.

[This message has been edited by cyberphreak2600 (edited 02-04-2004).]