Its been so long ago since that post by hoskins "virgin or not" thread. some dude in there said that even the people who did it young dont regret it. I DO I REGRET IT SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I wish i had never met that girl i wish i had never been born. why did i have to do something so stupid. she has totally demolished my life once again. i dont think i can take the stress anymore. i dont wanna live anymore

my life is gone now. i cant feel anything but pain. everybody said it would go away. but it hasnt. It hasnt gone away. ITS ONLY GETTING WORSE. AND I CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE. I FEEL LIKE I AM DROWNING AND THERE IS NOBODY THERE TO SAVE ME. NO LIFEGUARD TO CATCH ME. IM DROWNING IN MY SORROW. I DONT WANNA GO ON ONE MORE DAY. SHE HAS PUT ME THROUGH HELL SO MANY TIMES.

Its was going so good. I thought she was even gonna get back with me. She would hug me, and even kiss me. SHe would hang out with me and we would have a good time.

But then i got into a fight with this kid and he said i pulled a knife on him. i told her that and she went absolutly ballistic. she was like you what!!!!!!!! and i was all its not true. SHe was like bullshit i hate you dont ever talk to me again. i hate your guts. i hate you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!. i did nothing wrong though. i cant take this anymore i have been pushed over the edge. she didnt even know the kid. Mabey she was just looking for an excuse but i dont know. it was all lies. Now she hates me and said she will never speak to me again. She ignores me. If anything she could be my friend. I JUST DONT WANNA LOSE MY FRIEND NOW. IF SHE NEVER LOVES ME AGAIN FINE. BUT I DONT WANNA LOSE MY FRIEND. I SCREAM FOR HER TO HELP ME I SCREAM IN THE DARKNESS AND NOBODY ANSWERS ME. WHY WONT SHE BE MY FRIEND. I DID NOTHING. SHE WAS MY BEST FRIEND. NOW SHE HATES ME. WHY WONT THIS PAIN GO AWAY. IT GETS WORSE EVERYDAY.

I CANT TAKE THIS PAIN ANYMORE TOTSE. WHAT SHOULD I DO. I NOW HAVE TO SCREAM FOR HELP HEAR. NOBODY IN THIS WORLD WILL LISTEN TO MY PLEASSS FOR HELP. THEY DONT CARE THAT I WANT TO SHOOT MYSELF. I ASK FOR HELP BUT GET NONE. I SCREAM IN THE DARK BUT GET NO REPLY. HELP ME TOTSE WHAT SHOULD I DO. IM DESPERATE. I CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE. IS DEATH MY ONLY ESCAPE FROM THIS PAIN. IS THERE NO OTHER WAY OUT. WHY WONT ANYBODY HELP ME . WHY WONT THEY LISTEN TO MY CALLS FOR HELP. WHAT SHOULD I DO.

SHE ISNT THE ONLY WAY I FEEL LIKE THIS BUT SHE IS THE MAIN REASON. ANOTHER IS THAT MY MOM IS TRYING TO BLAME ME FOR MY GRANDPA HAVING A STROKE. AND KIDS AT SCHOOL ARE HARRASING ME AND THREATENING TO KILL ME.

BUT WHY WONT SHE JUST BE MY FRIEND? I DONT WANNA LOSE MY ONLY FRIEND BUT I THINK ITS TOO LATE. WHY WONT ANYBODY LISTEN TO MY CALLS FOR HELP.

WHAT SHOULD I DO TOTSE PLZ HELP ME YOUR PROBABLY THE ONLY PEOPLE WHO WILL LISTEN TO ME. OHHHH IS DEATH THE ONLY WAY OUT ?

HELP ME!!!!!!!! IM DROWNING IN MY SORROW HELP HELP HELP HELP HELP

JOLLY

Calm down!

Now then, you need to take some time to sort out your thoughts, we can't help you until you help yourself, so sit/lay down for a hour, and try and sort your mind out, then tell us what the problem is EXACTLY.

Go get some nice relaxing sex to calm you down. Works for me

Im sorry i assumed you guys remembered my posts about this from along time ago. well here is hoskins post ( the one that i was talking about.) http://www.totse.com/bbs/Forum4/HTML/005544.html

im sorry i cant find my post though i searched for it but i cant find it. it was called " im sorry to everybody in this forum"

you want to know what exactly is going on. well i will tell you. I DONT WANNA LIVE ANYMORE.

I AM IN LOVE WITH THIS GIRL. She dumped me like 2 months ago but im still in love with her. i was hoplessly in love with her. Well she said she would give me a chance to be with her again. I was almost certain i would get her back. she started to hang out with me again, as a friend. she would let me hug her and she even would kiss me. i thought for sure i would get her back.but................. the 2 days ago i got into a fight with this kid. He said i pulled a knife on him. but i didnt. so i was talking to her on the internet and told her about it and she flipped out. she went fucking beserk on me. she was like i hate you i never wanna talk to you again. i hate you . you BLEW YOUR LAST CHANCE.

YOU DONT KNOW HOW I FEEL, I DIDNT JUST LOVE HER SHE WAS ALSO MY BEST FRIEND. THE ONLY ONE I HAD LEFT. I DONT WANNA LOSE MY FRIEND. BUT SHE HATES ME NOW. YOU CAN READ ONE OF HER EMAILS SHE SENT.

"look i dont care anymore! I DONT WANT TO TALK TO YOU! I TOLD YOU THAT!!!!!!!!!!!! Why cant you understand that! i like blocked you from my e-mail so i wont get any of your e-mails WELL I JUST DONT CARE ANYMORE! IF YOUR TIERD OF GETTING HURT THEN JUST LEAVE ME ALLONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!! YOUR THE ONE WHO HAS BEEN MAKEING STUPID DECISIONS!! NOT ME! BYE "

I DIDNT DO ANYTHING WRONG. I LOVE HER MORE THAN ANYTHING AND SHE WAS MY FRIEND.

SHE HAS BEEN PUTING ME UNDER SO MUCH STRESS AND PRESSURE LATLY I CANT FUNCTION RIGHT ANYMORE. she is killing me. she has hurt me so much and for some reason i still love her. i cry for help from sombody. i ask her to please still be my friend. dont abandon me in my darkest hour. i need my friend.i cant talk to anybody.im at my breaking point. there is only so much a man can take.i cant take it anymore.is death my only escape from this torture. i cant go on living like this. i scream for help but nobody will listen to me.i lost my friend. i loved her. she hurts me so much. ahhhhhhhhhhh i just wanna die. ITS LIKE THAT LINKIN PARK SONG ONE STEP CLOSER. I CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE. EVERYTHING SHE SAYS TO ME BRINGS ME ONE STEP CLOSER TO THE EDGE.

I CANT HANDLE THIS KINDA PRESSURE ANYMORE. ITS TO FUCKING HEAVY ( IM CRYING MY EYEBALLS OUT RIGHT NOW) ITS TO HEAVY I CANT CARRY IT ANYMORE. I DONT WANNA LIVE WHY WONT SHE BE MY FRIEND I DID NOTHING TO HER. I AM WALKING THE LEDGE BETWEEN INSANITY AND REALITY. IM ON MY BREAKING POINT.

WHAT SHOULD I DO PLZZZZZ LISTEN TO ME PLZZZZZZ I BEG YOU HELP ME. DONT LET ME DROWN!! PLZZZZZ

Overly emotional emo-kid much? Shit dude, calm down, life is NEVER that bad. Go see a therapist, or smoke some weed or get drunk... anything! Daaamn...

Give in to the pain, or counter it with pleasure. Get high, watch some porn, jerk off. Give up on your love for her and love yourself. Be conceited for awhile, it will help. Either that, or kill yourself.

quote:Originally posted by guernica:

Overly emotional emo-kid much? Shit dude, calm down, life is NEVER that bad. Go see a therapist, or smoke some weed or get drunk... anything! Daaamn...



IM NOT AN EMO KID. I DONT LIKE EMO VERY MUCH. I LIKE CLASSIC ROCK MOSTLY

You want to know what to do? Try this:

Chill.

I'm not saying it to be mean, I'm saying it seriously. You are obsessing in the worst manner possible. All that serves to do is push people away. As your desperation grows, so does the amount you turn off those around you.

You want your friend back? The only way that's going to happen is if you take time- we're talking a couple of months minimum- and at least reach a point where you can see the light at the end of the tunnel. You may still hurt being without her, but you need to believe that, if she really has rejected you permanently, you can go on. When that time comes, try talking to her again. Don't do it with any purpose in mind other than conversation. Tell her you miss her, see if she wants to do something perhaps, but do it calmly. If she sees a change in you, then she may be ok with it. Otherwise, you have no prayer.

Work with that goal in mind. Work to change yourself so that she'll be able to see, without doubt, that your mental state is improved. If you reach a point where you're at all unsure, you haven't gotten there yet.

This is going to take time. You've had some shit happen, with repercussions that are not going to be pleasant to deal with, but it's not a hopeless situation. Even if she's wholly turned against you, no matter what you do- unlikely given what you said, though you may need to really get your shit straight to earn even a hello- what you do will get people to look at you more positively, which will be a boon in and of itself.

First things first, though. You want this girl's friendship, you're going to have to work for it, not cry or shoot yourself. But, technically, those are still options. Make a choice.

That happened to me once. I had to cry for days before it went away. I still daydream about her. Let it out, let it go.

I totally understand your feelings of regret, and your feelings of hopeless love. I have been through that and it sucks ass.

But truthfully, if I were to be that girl, I would not get back with you. You need to drop this "I did nothing wrong" shit. You pulled a knife on a guy...that's not cool and it't not hardcore. It's violent. If you really want to get back with this girl (and by the sounds of you, even if you think you do, getting back with her is self-destructing and you are just going to get hurt again), give it a couple days and try to calmly apologize to the girl. Explain that you totally overreacted, and that you understand that pulling out a knife is not an effective solution. You may (and that is only a may) be able to somewhat salvage a friendship.

Don't be an ass about the pain. As most other people do, I know how a broken heart can make you feel like dying, but come on, you are only young. You have time to go out there and meet other people. If you kill yourself, I guaruntee you wont make any new friends.

Broken hearts take time to heal. Know there is no quick fix. It's so easy to say "go get involved in something" or "go get high" when you are not in the position. Having said that, those aren't always the best options (especially go and get high. Just dont do it. Thats just adding to your problems.) When you are out of the activity or when you are coming down, it feels just as bad. Try to keep your mind off of her if you can, and if you can't, don't be afraid to cry. Go in your room, curl up and cry. It makes you feel so much better. Do you have another friend you can talk too? Talking gets so much feeling out. Writing poetry, writing music, or painting helps a lot of people release their feelings also.

I know that life feels like shit right now for you, but know that there are people out there that really care about you. In time, you will feel better. Until then, I send you my hugs and love. I hope you can get over her soon.

Waa. You cry louder than Guswut as a closed at a closed Mcdonalds

*Sorry Guswut I wanted to try the hate on guswut trend*

quote:Originally posted by aloneandbroken:

I totally understand your feelings of regret, and your feelings of hopeless love. I have been through that and it sucks ass.

But truthfully, if I were to be that girl, I would not get back with you. You need to drop this "I did nothing wrong" shit. You pulled a knife on a guy...that's not cool and it't not hardcore. It's violent. If you really want to get back with this girl (and by the sounds of you, even if you think you do, getting back with her is self-destructing and you are just going to get hurt again), give it a couple days and try to calmly apologize to the girl. Explain that you totally overreacted, and that you understand that pulling out a knife is not an effective solution. You may (and that is only a may) be able to somewhat salvage a friendship.

Don't be an ass about the pain. As most other people do, I know how a broken heart can make you feel like dying, but come on, you are only young. You have time to go out there and meet other people. If you kill yourself, I guaruntee you wont make any new friends.

Broken hearts take time to heal. Know there is no quick fix. It's so easy to say "go get involved in something" or "go get high" when you are not in the position. Having said that, those aren't always the best options (especially go and get high. Just dont do it. Thats just adding to your problems.) When you are out of the activity or when you are coming down, it feels just as bad. Try to keep your mind off of her if you can, and if you can't, don't be afraid to cry. Go in your room, curl up and cry. It makes you feel so much better. Do you have another friend you can talk too? Talking gets so much feeling out. Writing poetry, writing music, or painting helps a lot of people release their feelings also.

I know that life feels like shit right now for you, but know that there are people out there that really care about you. In time, you will feel better. Until then, I send you my hugs and love. I hope you can get over her soon.



Thanks for the support but i DIDNT PULL A FUCKING KNIFE I TOLD YOU THE LITTLE MOTHER FUCKER IS LYING. I DIDNT DO THAT MAN.

the first way to calm down is to stop typing in all caps, i think

Like many said already.....

Chill.

I hate to say this, but you probably got played by this girl, and it DOES seem like an excuse. It sucks, i havent been in that situation, but basically you need to give yourself some time. Right now im doing so fucking bad in school you wouldnt beleive it. A lot of my good friends arent hanging out with me anymore, which really sucks. I remember at least every weekend i would chill with someone, now i go each week coming home from school alone, and i hate it.

Most of my friends arent virgins and they are ALL about having sex with girls, NOT having a relationship. This black girl i know is really nice to me, and i like her, probably not enough to go out with her but enough to be good friends with her. Soon i plan on talking to her about what my friends say and how they use girls and stuff, cuz she doesnt understand that im not like them. Im not like my friends, its not about "gettin booty' for me. She is a virgin and shes totally for a good relationship too.

Its a problem and i think all guys that do that shit are assholes. Now, for the other side of the story, some of the girls are just as bad. Personally, i wouldnt want to date a girl that isnt a virgin (im 16 years old next week for your info). I think its just fucked up, and i wouldnt want to get tricked into losing my virginity to a girl that might not last long.

This might sound retarded, but maybe u want to start writing a journal. Three days ago i started one just on plain sheets of paper in a stack. Not even a notebook. Every night i spend like an hour writing, not constant writing, just.... thinking, writing, listening to music, that kinda thing. It gets shit out of your head and onto paper.

There are two girls that im looking to hook up with. One im nearly 100% sure she is a virgin, the other i think like 80% chance. I posted a topic about it on here a week ago or so. With my grades dropping and my friends leaving me and shit, i need a girl to have for when things get shitty. Things are mad shitty now, so im thinking of taking action SOON. I think one day im just going to sit with them at lunch, tho it will seem really awkward. I think that my biggest problem is that i dont have enough confidence. I just immagine the BAD stuff that could happen, for example they all give me dirty looks and dont talk to me / ignore me. Im just immagining the worst. Thinking about how things could go perfect makes me feel a lot better! I sit down with them, and instantly they ask me questions, and we joke around, and we relate and have common interests and stuff.



Anyway, aside from all that, you need to maybe accept the fact that the girl stole something from you (your heart, and possibly your virginity if i understood correctly), but then you can still meet a perfect girl. Assuming your a teen i think, i hear that most highschool relationships NEVER go far enough to matter. Maybe its just getting a taste of different types of girls and shit. Good luck, i gotta bounce, tomorrow ill edit post if i need to.

yeah shouldnt bang the first chick who spreads........................

it was bad sex anyway so i wouldnt even count my first time hah

dude, relax, i know its like hell when you get your heart ripped out and all but it's no point dwelling on it all the time, best thing is to try to accept it, i know its hard, but you gotta, otherwise you'll never be able to just enjoy life, yeah, she makes your life a million times better but i'm sure you'd be ok if you just calmed down and try to move on, no one wants to be around someone who's angry and depressed all the time ... if you want her back that much you have to show that it doesn't affect you this seriously or she'll really win ... bottom line, your life will not be hell forever, you will eventually get over it and either it works out with her or you find someone else, continuously beating yourself up about it is not going to help.

Damn it man i know how you feel...I know how it hurts.

The pain everyday of your life...The endless suffering and the endless undying pain that never ceases...

The endless dark tunnel through which you travel with no light in sight.

The feeling that if you don't let it out you'll die...Contenplation of suidicde...The constant lying to yourself that she'll come back or thinking that somehow magically your broken heart will heal.

The lying in bed at night...Wanting to cry but not having the tears to do it because you cried so much during the day.

The constant daydreams of her coming back to you that do nothing more than pour more salt on your wounds.

The sounds of her voice in your mind...

The lying in bed dreaming of her and feeling her so real and clear only to wake and realize it was a dream...

I know how it is...I am going through it myself...I too lost the only love of my life.

I know that this is not much but you are not alone...Heartbreak is a bitch and it makes you feel like shit as you have experienced first hand.

But the way i look at it...When us the heartbroken get through it...It WILL make us stronger brother.

We must stick in there...And i know that doesn't mean much...But just know that if you ever need someone to relate to and converse with about your lost love then i'm always around to talk through email.

(new email)

spirithero@mail.com