Ok so for those that don't know my g/f and me will meet for the firs time sent week! We met when she emailed me a few months back. Anyway I love her she loves me she wants us to get engaged when she gets here and married when she finishes college. I want for that to happen too so its not a problem her thinking like that.

Ok she was originally meant to arive here on friday 30th Jan, but because of problems with flights and finances she couldnt get here. So heres the thing, she has been real upset these past few days about not being here for my birthday today the 2nd! The 1st day we spoke on the phone she asked if Id want her here for it. Anwyay she wanted to be here I wanted her here but it didnt work that way and she is real upset. However we have talked about all this alot and she was going on about sending me this "Special" email and calling me and all this kind of stuff but I get no call and have no email from her. The thing is she has rang me at about 3-5pm my time which is 9-11am hers these past 4 or 5 days and now on my birthday of all days she doesnt. I mean she knows I cant call her during the day cos of work and she has been making such a big thing about not being here for my birthday and all like she thinks she is letting me down. I would love her to be here and all but she's not and I think, well I am just worried that it is all getting oo much for her not being here. I really dont know if this is some sort of mind game she might be playing b

Dude... you depend on this board too much for your own bloody health. How the fuck are we supposed to just guess why she hasn't called you today? Just delete this thread until you talk to her and find out what the deal is, there is nothing ANY of us can do to help you with this one.

You're gonna propose to this chick and you don't even know how to communicate with each other, this is bloody pathetic. <- And that's pretty bad coming from me.

quote:Originally posted by Sarcophagus:

Dude... you depend on this board too much for your own bloody health. How the fuck are we supposed to just guess why she hasn't called you today? Just delete this thread until you talk to her and find out what the deal is, there is nothing ANY of us can do to help you with this one.

You're gonna propose to this chick and you don't even know how to communicate with each other, this is bloody pathetic. <- And that's pretty bad coming from me.

Aye.

quote:Originally posted by Sarcophagus:

Dude... you depend on this board too much for your own bloody health. How the fuck are we supposed to just guess why she hasn't called you today? Just delete this thread until you talk to her and find out what the deal is, there is nothing ANY of us can do to help you with this one.

You're gonna propose to this chick and you don't even know how to communicate with each other, this is bloody pathetic. <- And that's pretty bad coming from me.

I really don't know how you come up with your responses!

I meanall I am asking is, if she is trying to tell me something without actually telling me in words! Something that alot of females do! I mean I have now spoken to her and she has told me she was sleeping when she was to call me which would have been early in the morning her time so I can understand that and she said she knew I'd be working and all! Anyway she said she was waiting all day fro me to call and was telling me how much she wanted to be here today and all.

The thing I really wanted to know though was this her way of letting me know she was real upset and all!

I mean she won't tell me about some things unless I almost drag them out of her because she seems to be still scared I will walk away from her if it seems like she has too many problems.

Latly she has been sort of accepting that I won't and that I am ok with everything going on with her except for maybe one or two things but them I can still get over.

I mean just these past few days shes talking about us being married and having kids etc, but I know she still has all these fears becasue of the shit she has ben through that I would walk out on her for this or that reason or she seems to be thinking that if she told me she was having our child that I would walk away. I do everything I can to reassure her and she says she knows I wont do all that to her but she has just been walked over so many times that I think its hard for her to accept that somebody does love her as much as I do and all. Thing is thouhg I feel the same and we do talk about it! I mean i have been with girls only interested in my cash or girls only interested in my reputatioin so I know what is like to have someone eiter walk out on yoiu or just not be really interested in you but rather the idea of you.

All I really need to know is if she was trying to tell me something without upsetting me becaus its my birthday?

I mean you really cant tell me females dont at times do this sort of thing to get a point or a message accross!

She made sense...you rely on TOTSE for relationship advice. Think about this...you rely on complete strangers over the internet, who may be trying to fuck you over, for relationship advice with a woman you intend to engage or whatnot. Your brain can make decisions on its own...fucking use it.

quote:Originally posted by Hexadecimal:

She made sense...you rely on TOTSE for relationship advice. Think about this...you rely on complete strangers over the internet, who may be trying to fuck you over, for relationship advice with a woman you intend to engage or whatnot. Your brain can make decisions on its own...fucking use it.

Yeah I am asking people here becasue sometimes its easier then going to someone I know real well or something that might just try tell me what they think I might want to hear or just not have a clue as they dont use the net at all!

Understand this: YOu are a human, humans are all genetically similar and all have similar thought processes. You can probably be a rather decent judge of the relationship and what to do by relying on YOURSELF rather than complete strangers who may wish suffering on you.

Without giving us enough information you ask us to figure out the mystery of WHY your girlfriend hadn't called you...

HOW THE FUCK SHOULD WE KNOW, DUDE?

Do you expect us to have some sort of satelite imagery of your girlfriend's house?

Some sort of telepathic link to her mind and the ability to discern her thoughts?

You're no longer just asking for advice, you're asking questions that we could answer ONLY if we were to call your girlfriend on the goddamn phone!!!!

I don't know of anywhere better on the internet to get advice, but seriously, if you're thinking about engagements, you need to be at a point where you're not worried about shit like this. The fact you're constantly here is not a good sign. Even if she's not doing anything to fuck with you, your lack of confidence in your ability to figure out what to do is going to doom everything anyway.

she's playing mind games... i didnt even read the post but i can safely say she is.

all women play mindgames they need to think they have control..... they want you to be their bitch...

quote:Originally posted by Hexadecimal:

Understand this: YOu are a human, humans are all genetically similar and all have similar thought processes. You can probably be a rather decent judge of the relationship and what to do by relying on YOURSELF rather than complete strangers who may wish suffering on you.

true dat.

isn't this some girl you never met? I have to admit I diddn't read the post, only because im sick of hearing about it. Long distance relationships with people you dont know probably dont work too well... but if you dont beleive me, its cool. You'll see.

Psych: long distance relationships DO work... they really do.

It's just that the actual transition between a long-distance relationship to a live-in or local relationship is very very brutal.

You're just not expecting it. All you can think about is how you can't wait to be together, you're so busy thinking about how great it's gonna be that you don't prepare yourself for how difficult it really is to make that kind of relationship change.

With long distance relationships, as much as it feels as though your partner is a part of your life, they really aren't. They take up no more time than say, a hobby. You know them, but you don't know the 24/7/365 them. They're reachable by phone, internet, the mail... but as much as they are there in your life, they aren't really there. They're not there when you wake up, when you go to sleep, at almost every meal. You don't stumble over their shoes on your way to the toilet. Their nasty little habits don't effect you in the slightest bit. It isn't to say that all of these things are easily adjusted to over a period of time, but if you're not ready for it then you are fucked. If you're rushing into it full steam ahead then you're going to end up in a big wreck, broken hearts all around.

When you make the move from the convenience of a long distance relationship to the three-ring circus that is a 'normal' relationship it's just... it's overwhelming.

Normal relationships have the upper hand because they become accustomed to each other over a much longer period of time. Long-distance relationships develop very well emotionally, but there is a very small basis of reality. You tend to use your imagination alot. You wonder "What would it be like if I were there right now" and you imagine it, but you don't imagine shit like "What if I wanted to play on my PC for 5 hours and she got bitchy and ended up walking out and didn't come home for 2 hours"... you just don't imagine that kind of thing, but it happens to everyone.

This guy just isn't prepping himself very well, and I can't completely blame him because I didn't prepare myself either.

It never dawned on me that it would be just as difficult getting used to sharing a life with someone I had known long-distance for a few years, than it would be getting used to sharing my life with a perfect stranger, but it was! Boy was it...

[This message has been edited by Sarcophagus (edited 02-03-2004).]

I have been asking people here stuff about all this for the same reason everyone else does, that being I am just looking for other peoples input/ opinions/ advice. I mean I amnt "Depending" on the board but its good to hear others views sometimes.

Anyway as far as not being prepared for all the 24/7 stuff, well I am I think as prepared as I can be. I mean we speak so much on the phone I know pretty much all her habits etc adn her mine. I know it will be different in person but we'll have to cross that bridge when we come to it.

The thing is that she wants this, I wnat it too so I think we can make it work out very well.

She has I said been real upset these past few days and has been a bit ill too and thtas part of why she seems worse about the whole not being here for my birthday thing. I meaan when I called her last night she was telling me she had been waiting all day for me to call as she had been sleeping when she thought Id be able to take a call and then had to go out and only had her cell. Anyway she was going on again about being real upset she wasnt here and all again and saying that she was going to send me something special and all.

Anyway I suppose Im just wondering is she concerned that becasue she isnt here that I might be a bit pissed at her and that she might be looking for some reassurances from me or something. I dont know for sure but I dont like asking her about all this because I know it upsets her because she wants to be here so bad.

I think you are playing mind games on yourself.

Yea shes playing mind games.

with all the advice you want i think that you would realize that ALL GIRLS PLAY MIND GAMES

In agreement with a few of the posters before me...



All women play mind games. If you find one that doesn't, give me a call. Women's sole purpose seems to be to make men miserable.

I'm sorry that I'm not gay sometimes because women piss me off so much, but then I remember how fucking gross guys are and go watch some porn. With girls in it, mind you.