I date people because I like the person. Genitalia is sort of secondary to me. If someone is intelligent, nice to look at, interesting, and makes me laugh I couldn't care less if they're a man, woman, transexual, transvestite, hermaphordite, whatever.

And no one ever asked me if I was gay, growing up. No one ever called me gay, growing up. It never crossed my mind.

I had my first kiss when I was thirteen, with a boy. But, in my freshman year of high school, when my best girly friend kissed me I wasn't shocked. For years earlier I'd had another close friend, who was a girl, who I found very attractive but I knew she didn't like girls so I never made a move.

This girl was beautiful, and since we were already friends I knew I liked her personality, and she wanted me. So, when she asked me to be her girlfriend I said "yes" without even thinking of the fact that suddenly I was going to be Gay. Gay with a capitol "G". A Gay Lesbian. Now, I'd be "the lesbian" to all my straight friends and whenever they introduced me to someone they'd introduce me as

"Hi, this is ****. She's gay."

There was a small clique of gay kids in the (San Francisco in the early 90's) school and her and I definitely didn't fit in there. We wore make up, shaved our legs, and loved to flirt with guys.

But, now I suddenly had to choose. People wanted to know: Was this a permanent thing? No, it was a relationship. Was it a phase? No, I wasn't going to grow out of liking cool, good looking, people. How do you just stop liking guys? I didn't. Are you going to date guys, too? Not while I'm with my girlfriend. So, are you going to start using words like "dyke" and "fag" all the time because it's ironic? Uh... no.

Bottom line is: not all of us define ourselves by our sexuality.

Cheers,

Lost

Mm. Ok. I like your mind. Can I please have your brain?

Do you msn or seomthing, I wat to talk to you.

Not a stupid e-crush. Don't worry.

Not cause you're bi either.

I don't think through my genitalia.

go the bi's.

me, im still in confusion, but ur story sounds good 2 me.

Yeah, I was sort of the same way. ..well, not exactly. I haven't had nearly as much luck in the lady department as you have. Right now, I'm working to fight off a gigantic ugly lesbian who is 5 years older than me. My fault for fooling around with someone without thinking about it. But that's really beside the point. I have to fight the bisexual thing constantly. A lot of people seem to think I'm brave or something for being out about my sexuality. Well, I'm not brave. I'm just a person being myself. Sexuality is no big deal to me because I don't care about the assholes who are going to judge me for it. But what does sometimes get to me is the way people in general regard bisexuals. Especially female bisexuals. It's like we're going through a phase and we'll eventually pick one. I don't want to pick one. Or they assume we date guys and girls at the same time. What kind of twisted fuck dates two people at the same time?! (okay, so it's not that bad and it's cool if all parties involved are cool with it, but totally not my cup of tea) The stigma that goes with being a bi chick totally blows. Having to deal with people thinking I'm just some annoying little freshman trying to be cool or different. I felt this way when I was 10 years old. I can barely remember that long ago, but that's when I had my first crush on a girl.

Totally unrelated, how long have you been a girl? I could have sworn you were a dude, LostCause

Well, the operation was complete last month.

Nevermind. Sarcasm doesn't work in this sort of milieu.

I've always been a girl, Glitter.

Cheers,

Lost

I get labeled as gay all the time, I don't really think too much of it. Then there are the "poser bisexuals" who do it for attention. There is no real group of gay kids in my school, there was one gay guy (who was an absolute sweetheart) but he ended up going to a different school this year.

Not that any of that is relevent to this thread. I just figured I would say I admire the fact that you are more into personality than being labeled as something. Or maybe giving up on something because it's not so traditional. I have had a couple crushes a couple girlfriends, and then their are friends who I am interested in but would never persue because it seems like it is too much of a burden. Maybe someday...

Me, I don't know, it's just my opinion. That the BossCause, has always been a girl & that

she is probably cuter than a bug-in-a-rug.

Maybe, even cuter than buggery on the bear skin rug, in front of the fire.

Though really; who reads her posts for the way she looks? From her words; she must lead

a more lively life, than any six of

the rest of us.

Thank you, you basically summed up how I feel about sexuality in a few paragraphs. I hate when girls pretend to be bi just to get guys attention. Just fucking be attracted to whoever your attracted to and go from there. After a while everything turns into games and there is no point anymore. People are going to lable you whatever you do, so just enjoy yourself, and try not to give a fuck.

bi sexual chicks are mostly a waste unless you can work a FFM threesome out of them or at the very least get a nice show while they munch another chicks pussy. other than that banging a bi chick is the same as banging a straight one.

I fell similar, but not on the sexual level (I've had great friendships with people without any sexual content in the mix), I don't see any reason that, if I felt the same way, only sexually, it would be in any way wrong (but then, I haven't grown up in a Christian neighborhood, it seems that they infect EVERYTHING). Do what you want to, because it is you, not anyone else, that you should look out for, because you are your own biggest enemy, and your own biggest friend.

I have a few questions for you lost, if you don't mind (since you're the first bisexual person I've ever heard make any damn sense at all)

Are you attracted to the same character traits in both men and women? Or do different traits appeal to you depending on the sex? (ie do you look for outgoing men and women, or do you prefer shy guys, and outgoing girls? etc.)

And I understand being attracted to the person regardless of the sex of the person, but personality preference aside: are there any noticable differences between your physical attraction to females vs. your attraction to males?

Is one sex desirable in a different manner from the other?

Sexually speaking, do you find that you are more or less turned on by a particular sex?

I ask because, while I do have a strong appreciation for the female form, (I check out girlies and have my own opinion of what is sexually appealing) I have a much higher lust level for male bodies.

This is more personal so I understand if you don't care to answer, but with your female partners, do you find the sex as good as with male partners? Better? The same?

the way i look at it is, you should just do what makes you happy, yknow? to each his (or in this case, her) own. i mean, if i see a bisexual couple, who am i to judge them? thats their call after all. so yeah, i totally agree with ya...

being gay/bisexual is becoming more and more accepted in society today. i just wish there would be a time when nobody CARED what your preferance was, and nobody would ostracize you for what you chose.. yeah, theres gays/lesbains at my school, and theyre pretty cool guys. im not gay or bi (so far, heh), but im still accepting of them. i also think its bullshit that gays cant donate blood, but thats another story completely

ah, and one last thing: its more "socially acceptable" for 2 girls to be together, than 2 guys. statistically, by 16, all girls have kissed another girl, and all girls will haev a lesbian experience at least once in their lifetime

ts

[This message has been edited by Tru_Souljer (edited 02-02-2004).]

quote:Originally posted by Guswut:

I fell similar, but not on the sexual level (I've had great friendships with people without any sexual content in the mix), I don't see any reason that, if I felt the same way, only sexually, it would be in any way wrong (but then, I haven't grown up in a Christian neighborhood, it seems that they infect EVERYTHING). Do what you want to, because it is you, not anyone else, that you should look out for, because you are your own biggest enemy, and your own biggest friend.

Holy crap a serious post!

I'm bi to an extent. On the physical level, I'm attracted to both sexes, slightly moreso with women. On the emotional level, I'm not attracted to men at all, so I don't see myself in a relationship with another man in my lifetime. Meh.

quote:Originally posted by Hexadecimal:

I'm bi to an extent. On the physical level, I'm attracted to both sexes, slightly moreso with women. On the emotional level, I'm not attracted to men at all, so I don't see myself in a relationship with another man in my lifetime. Meh.



*Shields*

I just figured that eventually some ignorant bastard is going to come in here and make an assinine remark about this.

I give no weight to ignorant bastards, so I don't mind.

Everybody thinks I'm gay. GUESS WHAT FUCKERS! I'M NOT!

yay a cool thread about bisexuals!!!!

One thing that had made it hard for me dealing with my bisexuality was some of the ways some people in the gay community viewed bisexual people. They were not very supportive at all, and until the mardi gras went broke in sydney, they werent even welcome in the parade or party..... so much for solidarity and support for non heterosexual sexualities.......

the attraction for me is that i like men to be all manly and tough, but i like women who are more feminine than butch....

thats just how it works with me...

fyi bisexuality is not protected from discrimination the same what that homosexual or transgender people are in NSW.... this is plain wrong.

The world would be a nicer place if more people thought like you, Lost..

-Extant

Okay now, I think it's really great that you feel this way about people and all. I feel the same way. But come on people, this isn't the first bisexual person in the world. It's not that impressive.



on an unrelated note, I hate universe. I have my reasons that aren't really related to this thread, but her post here can only make me hate her more. Go die, universe. Please go die

rock on LostCause.

quote:Originally posted by Sarcophagus:

I have a few questions for you lost, if you don't mind (since you're the first bisexual person I've ever heard make any damn sense at all)

Are you attracted to the same character traits in both men and women? Or do different traits appeal to you depending on the sex? (ie do you look for outgoing men and women, or do you prefer shy guys, and outgoing girls? etc.)

And I understand being attracted to the person regardless of the sex of the person, but personality preference aside: are there any noticable differences between your physical attraction to females vs. your attraction to males?

Is one sex desirable in a different manner from the other?

Sexually speaking, do you find that you are more or less turned on by a particular sex?

I ask because, while I do have a strong appreciation for the female form, (I check out girlies and have my own opinion of what is sexually appealing) I have a much higher lust level for male bodies.

This is more personal so I understand if you don't care to answer, but with your female partners, do you find the sex as good as with male partners? Better? The same?

No. 1: "Are you attracted to the same character traits in both men and women?"

- No. In men I value intelligence, dynamic, macho men. In women I'm less interested in intelligence and more interested in someone who is well meaning, nice, and pretty. I like femmes.

No. 2: "are there any noticable differences between your physical attraction to females vs. your attraction to males?"

- I always fall for indie boys. With girls there's a bigger range, I suppose.

No. 3: "Is one sex desirable in a different manner from the other?"

- Everyone is sexy in their own way.

No. 4: "Sexually speaking, do you find that you are more or less turned on by a particular sex?"

- No.

No. 5: "with your female partners, do you find the sex as good as with male partners? Better? The same?"

- I've been with several people and only two people I've ever been with have gotten me off and they were both men. I don't think it's a matter of bad sex though. I'm just difficult.

*narrows eyes at Glitterpunk*

Cheers,

Lost

quote:Originally posted by LostCause:

transexual, transvestite, hermaphordite, whatever.





You lost my vote right there.

The only reason your a mod is because they had a diversity quota you sick fuck.

Re-reading that hideous thread I found this upmost exciting.

"No, I wasn't going to grow out of liking cool, good looking, people. How do you just stop liking guys?"



LOL this is such a homo philosophy! You are "Gay" regardless just by that sentence used explicitly by homos.

How do you stop loving your animal? Where does the line draw up? Give me a break and have some more self respect and more confidence. Define what you are and what you want, dont be a fucking fence sitter. No one is hated more in this world then someone who cannot stand up for what he truly believes in rather supporting both arguements "equally". Just that word nowadays makes me sick because of people like you who have to be equal about everything including arguements or how much you pay for rent. What ever happend to I pay rent you pay electric, you pay food, etc. Now its equal in all of those.

Maybe its apart of this "Independance" Movement in the U.S. which I find utter bullshit aswell.

People like you should do what the africans are doing. They are fucking animals to prevent aids, you should fuck animals to prevent being an outcast in the NORMAL world.

I refuse to be tolerant when someone expects it from those they haven't met, known or even talked to.

quote:Originally posted by LSA King:



You lost my vote right there.

The only reason your a mod is because they had a diversity quota you sick fuck.

Oh you HAVE to be a newbie!! JC and the other administrators DONT work that way. Lost is a mod because of the intelligent n dedicated way she deals with ppl on the board, including dickheads like you!

Your the sick fuck if you cant open your puny mind and accept the fact that there are ppl in this world whose opinions and way of thinking difers from yours!!

Grow up little boy.

fencesitter ey....

fuck ive heard that term more than a couple times before, usually by people who cant tolerate a perspective that doesnt choose sides.

EVERYONE is capable of love, doesnt matter who you are and who you love or what gender either person is, sexual or platonic.

I've had crushes and attractions to both guys and gals as Lost said all that matters is your attracted to them.

If you want to love someone what difference does it make what gender they are?

As long as you can both be happy with your lives who cares what anyone else thinks.



BE HAPPY WITH YOURSELF AND WHO YOU LOVE.

Since I stopped letting people fuck with that everything got alot simpler....

Oh yeah... Sarchophagus,

why the hardcore rationalistic analyzation?

quote:Originally posted by LostCause:



*narrows eyes at Glitterpunk*



Do forgive me for not licking your boots for being the almighty enlightened one. Jesus fucking Christ, you're a bisexual. So am I. So are a lot of people. It's really nice and lovely that you like both guys and girls. Does this make you any better than anyone? This is just your sexual preference. That's all. You have these ideals about loving the person because you have to to justify your sexuality. You're not enlightened. You're just bisexual. Can you not handle someone pointing out that you're not Buddha? Am I stomping on your endless praise from closet homophobes? Do fucking forgive me.

Sort of unrelated, you really changed my opinion about you when you said that you don't care if your girls are intelligent. They should just be pieces of meat who make you sandwiches. Nice. That's really enlightened

Glitter, I only posted this because I sent it to someone who sort of verbally attacked me for being bisexual and I thought it was a decent piece that someone else might enough reading.

I never claimed to be enlightened.

I never claimed to be a good person.

And you seem more and more like my type every time we come in contact.

*winks at Glitter*

Cheers,

Lost

quote:Originally posted by LostCause:

I date people because I like the person. Genitalia is sort of secondary to me. If someone is intelligent, nice to look at, interesting, and makes me laugh I couldn't care less if they're a man, woman, transexual, transvestite, hermaphordite, whatever.

And no one ever asked me if I was gay, growing up. No one ever called me gay, growing up. It never crossed my mind.

I had my first kiss when I was thirteen, with a boy. But, in my freshman year of high school, when my best girly friend kissed me I wasn't shocked. For years earlier I'd had another close friend, who was a girl, who I found very attractive but I knew she didn't like girls so I never made a move.

This girl was beautiful, and since we were already friends I knew I liked her personality, and she wanted me. So, when she asked me to be her girlfriend I said "yes" without even thinking of the fact that suddenly I was going to be Gay. Gay with a capitol "G". A Gay Lesbian. Now, I'd be "the lesbian" to all my straight friends and whenever they introduced me to someone they'd introduce me as

"Hi, this is ****. She's gay."

There was a small clique of gay kids in the (San Francisco in the early 90's) school and her and I definitely didn't fit in there. We wore make up, shaved our legs, and loved to flirt with guys.

But, now I suddenly had to choose. People wanted to know: Was this a permanent thing? No, it was a relationship. Was it a phase? No, I wasn't going to grow out of liking cool, good looking, people. How do you just stop liking guys? I didn't. Are you going to date guys, too? Not while I'm with my girlfriend. So, are you going to start using words like "dyke" and "fag" all the time because it's ironic? Uh... no.

Bottom line is: not all of us define ourselves by our sexuality.

Cheers,

Lost

I see your point, but the thoughts of male male intercorse make me sick. I won't judge you on the simply fact that you're that way though. There is more to a person that that stupid, retarded concept we know as SEX.

Lost I have but one question, have you ever used your sexuality to your advantage?

By that I mean, do you ever feel as though you hold a higher card because your gay? Have you ever come down extremely hard on someone for making a joke that portrayed gays in a negative light?

I guess I have two questions, why create the post in the first place? I acknowledge that its a rant, but the rant is simple another word for "attention getter." I accept the fact that gays don't get equal rights, and that they are the downtrodden, but that doesn't mean they should be praised for being independant either. They are who they are, any normal logical human being can figure that out. So are you trying to reach the illogical and ignorant?

I don't mean any disrespect, I'm just trying to get a better perspective on things.

It's cool.

No. 1: "By that I mean, do you ever feel as though you hold a higher card because your gay?"

- No. Actually, that was one of the major points of the posts: I never considered myself really gay or straight, ever. So, I don't consider myself as holding a higher card because of it.

No. 2: "Have you ever come down extremely hard on someone for making a joke that portrayed gays in a negative light?"

- No. But, if someone is going around fagbashing I'm going to stand up and say something. But, if someone is going around bashing people because of racial issues, I'd react the same way.

No. 3: "I guess I have two questions, why create the post in the first place?"

- I'll already explains this in a rebuttal to Glitter, but the other day I was somewhat verbally attacked for being "bisexual" and not "picking a team" (like it's a fucking sport of something), and I wrote that to them in an e-mail. I thought it was well put and thought, perhaps, someone else would enjoy reading it. That's all. There's no real enlightened point to it. I think I often post thread on totse which people think I post for validation of some sort when I'm really posting them to either validate others or simply voice a statement.

No. 4: "So are you trying to reach the illogical and ignorant?"

- No. If I ever feel like doing that I'll become a high school teacher.

Cheers,

Lost

I too have been verbally attacked and generally treated like shit for being bisexual. Even the people who are just joking really hurt me when they imply that it's just a phase or something that all high school girls go though. I can see the point of your post (I made a similar one awhile back) but it really bothers me when dumbasses act like being of an alternative sexuality is the greatest thing ever. Something similar happened in another thread where a girl was talking about how she plans to eat a chick out. A bunch of dumb assholes came in talking about how great she is for being so goddamn open. Big fucking deal. When I want to talk about being with girls, it will be in a context outside of "I like to be with girls."

I don't think any less of you Lost,

I have come to the conclusion that most women are bi, even if they don't admit it.

quote:Originally posted by SephirothAngelus:

I don't think any less of you Lost,

I have come to the conclusion that most women are bi, even if they don't admit it.

Exactly what I'm talking about. TOTSE is a bunch of conformist morons

quote:Originally posted by tillip2:

Your the sick fuck if you cant open your puny mind and accept the fact that there are ppl in this world whose opinions and way of thinking difers from yours!!





Boo Fucking Hoo! I am open minded that solves nothing however just because I state my opinion doesn't make me narrow or close minded you fool otherwise your a hypocrite.

Glitter, the whole point of the post was

"Basically: not all of us define ourselves by our sexuality."

So, I think I made it very clear that this wasn't about how great it is to be bisexual.

I don't even consider myself bisexual.

I consider myself sexual *period*

Cheers,

Lost

quote:Originally posted by LostCause:

Glitter, the whole point of the post was

"Basically: not all of us define ourselves by our sexuality."



I caught that. But it's a dumb point. "Bisexual" might not be how you define yourself, but it's still something that is true of you. I don't define myself by my hair, but the point remains that it is black. So if I make a big long post about my hair and how it is black, but then say that isn't how I define myself, that doesn't make my hair less black. Meaning that part of your post can be disregarded because it's stupid and makes no sense. I instead chose to look at the actual content (that, and most of what I've been replying to is stuff other people have said)

quote:Originally posted by GlitterPunk112358:

Do forgive me for not licking your boots for being the almighty enlightened one. Jesus fucking Christ, you're a bisexual. So am I. So are a lot of people. It's really nice and lovely that you like both guys and girls. Does this make you any better than anyone? This is just your sexual preference. That's all. You have these ideals about loving the person because you have to to justify your sexuality. You're not enlightened. You're just bisexual. Can you not handle someone pointing out that you're not Buddha? Am I stomping on your endless praise from closet homophobes? Do fucking forgive me.



Damn right.

This looks like it's the thread where people are coming out so... I've thought about other guys and what it would be like. I've never done anything though. I feel less of a man for it too.

The flames I get will do something to me.

quote:Originally posted by GlitterPunk112358:

I caught that. But it's a dumb point. "Bisexual" might not be how you define yourself, but it's still something that is true of you. I don't define myself by my hair, but the point remains that it is black. So if I make a big long post about my hair and how it is black, but then say that isn't how I define myself, that doesn't make my hair less black. Meaning that part of your post can be disregarded because it's stupid and makes no sense. I instead chose to look at the actual content (that, and most of what I've been replying to is stuff other people have said)

Okay, Glitter. Apparently I didn't make myself clear, in that post. But, it was a rebuttal to something someone said to me. It wasn't an independant statement, so when I said "not everyone defines themselves by their sexuality", my point was to illustration, for the other girl, that I'm not a fence sitter.

She was upset because I didn't introduce myself as gay to someone. I didn't think it was any of their business and she thought it was because they were interested in asking me out. She thinks that, because I've dated people of the same sex, I have to carry a sexual resume around. May be get their names tattooed on my arm.

She considered this action as fence sitting and embarrassment of my "true sexuality". I disagree. I simply think it's more private and more complicated than just that.

That's where that statement came from.

Cheers,

Lost

I totally agree with lostcause on not labeling people on their sexuality. I tried posting something on homosexuals and i got 4 replies eventually it got 14 but it seems people are just scared.If you dont understand something, if it lies outside of normal ideas, then the devil must have something to do with it.How can you ostrasize someone based on this insignificant thing. You dont fucking not talk to someone who likes blue cheese you just fucking think hey they like blue cheese and i dont big deal. I dont consider this the right forum to talk about this subject anyway cause most of you "guys" mostly men who can't get pussy even if they went to fucking petco, are too fucking worried about how big your cocks are or how to get a virgin into bed....yea u guys are real saints.

Well since everyone is getting to rant on gays, Bis and such i think i'll throw my 2 cents out. I don't mind most gay guys. I've played football with a bisexual guy who was also my freind, took showers after pratice next to him and didn't bother me one bit b/c he knew that i wasnt into guys. Ill be the first ot admit that i have a lot of gay freinds both guy and girl. The only gays that do bother me are the ones that know someone is a heterosexaul and still hit on them and continue to make the other person uncomftroable. If you didnt kno the person was a hetero and you stop hitting on them after they tell you so then thats an honest mistake. Those kind of people give their group a bad name. sorry if that didnt make any sense but it made sense in my head

revolt232ed, get over yourself. You're not part of this great weird society who everyone is afraid to talk about. I don't talk about shit porn either. It doesn't hold my interest. Same with talk of the way snow falls or the different colors of blue in the sky. I just don't give a shit. It could be that people aren't afraid to talk about gay people as much as they just don't care

Times change; Your generation argue about how tolerant you are........