I've been seeing this girl for almost 6 months now, she's 16, I'm 18; I'm her first boyfriend. Tommorrow will be the 6 month mark. I was talking to her on the phone tonight and she was pretty eager to get together tomorrow night, until somehow we got to talking about fattness, and I said I'm not attracted to fat people and probably wouldn't love her if she was fat. She got all pissed off and stuff, there was a huge awkward silence. All of a sudden shes got too much school work to be able to come over tomorrow night (she won't admit that its because she's pissed), and told me her school work comes before me (which is true it ought to but the way she said it I could tell shes pretty upset). Was I really out of line there? I was just being honest, I don't find fat people attractive!!

Am I wrong?

Yes. That's most likely the worst, most superficial thing you could have possibly said. Sure, you may not find them attractive, but that shuoldn't change your feelings abuot someone. So yes, you are an asshole, and she should dump your sorry ass, and it sounds like she's headed that way.

Amateur.

Do I look fat in this?

No!

Would you still love me if I was fat?

Of course!

^Basic golden rule. If you don't yet comprehend that how have you handled a relationship for the last six months?

I am sure there is a section on this in the unofficial guide to women.

that's going to be a big hole to dig yourself out of. Major mess up.

Saying that you wouldn't love her if she was fat is a pretty bad plan. If looks matter that much to you that you could fall out of love with her becuase she was fat, she is going to take your love as superficial and therefore false.

She doesn't want you to go around and say "wow, that 350 pound chick is so hot!" but she is going to want to know that you love her for her.

Good luck on apologizing profusely

I'd put this in the same category as those who insult random strangers, are rude to service workers (cashiers, food servers, etc.), and have disrespectful attitudes towards the disabled, elderly, animals and children. It's really an unnecessary expression of "honesty" and serves no purpose other than to make you appear intolerant and ignorant.

This sort of a thing is a major turn-off for many females. Good for her, for having enough sense to recognize a scoundrel. The up side is that you're still young, and capable of bettering yourself.

OK, I realize now the severity of my fuckup. Any ideas on how to fix this?

I don't know about an asshole... But you sure are a bunghole!

Ah, I have great respect for those who acknowledge their fuck-ups. Kudos to you.

Now you need to acknowledge this to your girlfriend. Be honest! Tell her you learned something from this, and after thinking it over, you realize you said something you wish you hadn't said. This subject isn't one you've given much thought to, and you thought you were offering an "honest opinion." You don't need to change your whole opinion; just say you're thinking carefully about what you said.

Make it clear that you really have no idea whether you'd no longer be attracted to her if she puffed up. I think that's closer to the truth, anyways. Something along the lines of "if it happens, it happens and I'll deal with it then" is appropriate. If she seems to insist that you say you'd love her no matter what, then she's the one being a tad needy. In this case, make light of the situation, and remind her that she'd probably never let herself get fat anyways.

And as someone else suggested, apologize profusely! Good luck.

i know what u should do:



take a cold shower



don't dry yourself



take a screwdriver



take out the plastic handle

hold the metal bar tightly in your hands and..



start playing with the socket on the wall till u have yourself electrocuted to death

that rates a big 10.0 on my asshole-0-meter

quote:Originally posted by a0shi:

...Start playing with the socket on the wall till u have yourself electrocuted to death

Bad advice. You need to complete a circuit to stand a chance of electrocuting yourself. That means a screwdriver in each hand, one in each outlet slot.

[QUOTE]Originally posted by swimming fetus:

I don't know about an asshole... But you sure are a bunghole![/QUOTE

Come on swimming attentionwhore we got ya the first time!

I'll chip in my two cents of foreign currency, IMO No, you weren't that much of an asshole, perhaps a bit harsh though. It's not really the opinion that makes you an asshole, it's just the way in which you expressed your opinion. She probably needs a much better explanation.

If my partner started packing on the pounds I would get pretty damn upset about it! I wouldn't love them any less, but I'd be less physically attracted to them, and my patience would wear really thin.

While there is a lot to be said about physical attractiveness, my reasons are not all so shallow. Health is very important to me, and I plan to always take good care of my body. I expect the same from my partner!

If my partner doesn't respect himself enough to stay in good health, then why should I respect him...

But like I said I wouldn't stop loving them over it, things would just go to shit between us and the relationship would most likely end.

[This message has been edited by Sarcophagus (edited 02-02-2004).]

quote:Originally posted by toast_and_bananas2002:

[QUOTE]Originally posted by swimming fetus:

I don't know about an asshole... But you sure are a bunghole![/QUOTE

Come on swimming attentionwhore we got ya the first time!





Oh, it's actually "swimming fetus". And no one said anything that made it seem that they got it, poopoo face.

quote:Originally posted by Sarcophagus:

Health is very important to me, and I plan to always take good care of my body. I expect the same from my partner!

I love you.

*big shiny anime eyes*

Seriously, I think this way, I see Sarc does, and I know Cindy takes very good care of herself too, but most people I come across are pretty "eh" about their health. It affects more than you, people! If you're with somebody, you can't take their attraction to you for granted. Most people appreciate a strong, fit form, and even if they'll still love the person you are regardless, what's wrong with giving them something to lust after as well?

Lust is good. Keep lust alive.

you never EVER say any girl is fat and especially not your girlfriend and you never comment against people being fat and especially not in context with whether or not you'd still love her if she was fat ... you're asking for a death sentence and i believe you deserve one.

I agree, health is important. I keep myself in shape. But I'm a teenager, my metabolism is hiked, it ain't hard, but I still exercise regularly.

Unfortunately, it's my girlfriend's first year at University and the 'freshmen 15' is being kind of mean to her. But I still lie through my teeth and tell her I haven't noticed. It's what she needs to hear, and it's just because of the campus life style. It will go away right?...right?

no, you arent an asshole. you are honest and thats how it should be. fuck her insecure ass if she cant handle that. so you wouldnt love a fat chick, so what? ask her if shed still love you if you were an axe murderer.

^^because women and men are different (dur). They need different types of security and emotional reinforcement. You can't expect a woman to have the same views as men do on everything.

Chicks have a sensitivity to the subject of weight. Ok. Deal. Learn how to talk to her about it in a way that is not insulting; but rather reinforcing and motivating.

You know, I kinda thought that the whole "having a healthy partner" thing was just a cover up, but what Spiffy said really makes sense. Why would you take your partners phsical attraction to you for granted? Why would you let that part of your relationship slip?

Also, seeing someone become fat and unhealthy is pretty disheartening and kind of disqusting.

Thanks for the insight Spiff .

YAY for lust!!!

quote:Originally posted by Little Pea:

^^because women and men are different (dur). They need different types of security and emotional reinforcement. You can't expect a woman to have the same views as men do on everything.

Chicks have a sensitivity to the subject of weight. Ok. Deal. Learn how to talk to her about it in a way that is not insulting; but rather reinforcing and motivating.

You know, I kinda thought that the whole "having a healthy partner" thing was just a cover up, but what Spiffy said really makes sense. Why would you take your partners phsical attraction to you for granted? Why would you let that part of your relationship slip?

Also, seeing someone become fat and unhealthy is pretty disheartening and kind of disqusting.

Thanks for the insight Spiff .

YAY for lust!!!

i dont care if she has a different view than i. just because she has a different view doesnt mean i cant express mine. fuck her insecurities, i dont want that and im not going to settle for less. im not going to "learn" how to lie to the dumb cunt, i already know how to get pussy by lying. very effective, but its not like im going to do anything but fuck some silly meatbag. she needs to learn how to accept life and get over being a prissy twat. this conventional wisdom that men have to conform to the female needs is bullshit considering whens the last time females have had to conform to the male perspective?

^^What the fuck are you ranting about in your illiterate way? As usual, I didn't read past the first line since you never make any sense. You've been hit in the head too many times by your stepfather. Or maybe not enough.

The fact that you're an asshole is well known. You needn't keep proving yourself to be one repeatedly, and this thread isn't even about you.

quote:Originally posted by deadlycindy:

^^What the fuck are you ranting about in your illiterate way? As usual, I didn't read past the first line since you never make any sense. You've been hit in the head too many times by your stepfather. Or maybe not enough.

The fact that you're an asshole is well known. You needn't keep proving yourself to be one repeatedly, and this thread isn't even about you.



nice rebuttal, i didnt know this was the 3rd grade class debate. wait, i shouldnt say that. as a male i must be sensitive to your inferior needs and lie. so here you go: oh sweetie, you really hurt my feelings with that witty and cutting retort. i will never be able to show my screen name here again, as you have destroyed my ego with that spot-on reply.

happy now?

quote:Originally posted by mrman383:

nice rebuttal, i didnt know this was the 3rd grade class debate. wait, i shouldnt say that. as a male i must be sensitive to your inferior needs and lie. so here you go: oh sweetie, you really hurt my feelings with that witty and cutting retort. i will never be able to show my screen name here again, as you have destroyed my ego with that spot-on reply.

happy now?

*Knowing the irony will be lost:* You know she is kid.

quote:Originally posted by Guswut:

*Knowing the irony will be lost:* You know she is kid.

aw, the knight in shining armor called me kid. youre like what, 16 or something? cute

quote:Originally posted by mrman383:

aw, the knight in shining armor called me kid. youre like what, 16 or something? cute

Uhh, I'm no knight (at least, not in shining armor, I haven't washed the armor since the last battle, and it is coated, sitll, in the blood of my enemies), I'm older then time itself (my human age is about 18), and I crush little shits like you everyday, so just shut up, you are still a "noob" (as in you've been around for less then three months), and already you are attempting to piss of a moderator, and a member that isn't all there in the head... I suggest just shutting up kid (this is pertaining to your mental age, which seems to be greatly inferior to mine).

quote:Originally posted by Guswut:

Uhh, I'm no knight (at least, not in shining armor, I haven't washed the armor since the last battle, and it is coated, sitll, in the blood of my enemies), I'm older then time itself (my human age is about 18), and I crush little shits like you everyday, so just shut up, you are still a "noob" (as in you've been around for less then three months), and already you are attempting to piss of a moderator, and a member that isn't all there in the head... I suggest just shutting up kid (this is pertaining to your mental age, which seems to be greatly inferior to mine).



haha he "crushes little shits" on the internet. im not attempting to do anything, if she gets pissed off thats her own damn fault. i neither quoted her nor asked for her reply. so if she wants to come in and look dumb with that "i know you are but what am i?" retort, then let her.

quote:Originally posted by mrman383:



haha he "crushes little shits" on the internet. im not attempting to do anything, if she gets pissed off thats her own damn fault. i neither quoted her nor asked for her reply. so if she wants to come in and look dumb with that "i know you are but what am i?" retort, then let her.

Actually, I was talking about in my working life, I don't count the internet as a place where the crushing of little shits counts, as it where.

Anyways, from her post, it would seem that you have posted shit (yes, your post was crap, not even worth the bandwidth it is on [why, you ask? Because you lack syntax, grammar, and punctuation, learn some now]) before, that is reason enough to flame you, moron.

Now then, with that as a perfect example of two people being assholes, we now have something to compare others to.

quote:Originally posted by Guswut:

Actually, I was talking about in my working life, I don't count the internet as a place where the crushing of little shits counts, as it where.

Anyways, from her post, it would seem that you have posted shit (yes, your post was crap, not even worth the bandwidth it is on [why, you ask? Because you lack syntax, grammar, and punctuation, learn some now]) before, that is reason enough to flame you, moron.



so you "crush little shits" for a living? interesting...

im sorry you have trouble with informal text. well ok, actually im not. this isnt a fucking thesis, you need to realize that. this is spoken text, welcome to message boards and the current era.

and now to add to the pissing match:

ass kissers do not "crush" anyone.

quote:Originally posted by mrman383:

so you "crush little shits" for a living? interesting...

im sorry you have trouble with informal text. well ok, actually im not. this isnt a fucking thesis, you need to realize that. this is spoken text, welcome to message boards and the current era.

and now to add to the pissing match:

ass kissers do not "crush" anyone.

You really aren't getting it, are you? I'll spell it out for you: Y o u a r e a n i d i o t .

Didn't help? Ok, how about this: I'm a god, you are some lowly mortal that can't even put his thoughts together correctly, go and get lost.

quote:Originally posted by mrman383:



im sorry you have trouble with informal text. well ok, actually im not. this isnt a fucking thesis, you need to realize that. this is spoken text, welcome to message boards and the current era..

Just because it's a message board in the "current era" and not a thesis, it's appropriate to sound uneducated? Kay.

-Nocuous



[This message has been edited by nocuous (edited 02-02-2004).]

quote:Originally posted by Guswut:

You really aren't getting it, are you? I'll spell it out for you: Y o u a r e a n i d i o t .

Didn't help? Ok, how about this: I'm a god, you are some lowly mortal that can't even put his thoughts together correctly, go and get lost.

nice ninja, but not ninja enough.

however, given your opposition to my point of view, shouldnt you be telling me all of this in a caring, helpful way? afterall, isnt being rude and insulting wrong even if its honest? so if you truely believed differently that me, you would be gently explaining your funny little posts in a way sensitive to my insecurities. or does that only apply to a female?

quote:Originally posted by mrman383:

nice ninja, but not ninja enough.

however, given your opposition to my point of view, shouldnt you be telling me all of this in a caring, helpful way? afterall, isnt being rude and insulting wrong even if its honest? so if you truely believed differently that me, you would be gently explaining your funny little posts in a way sensitive to my insecurities. or does that only apply to a female?

No, not really, I'm an asshole online because my home life makes me bored with being nice, if I where to meet you in real life, and we didn't know each other (as in, I didn't know it was you, and you didn't know it was me), I would have said something like "Hello, how are you?", and not have told you to fuck off (oh, I just did, oh well. ).

If you'd rather me try and tell you the error of your ways, then you are talking to the wrong person, I don't care about you, you are just another bug under my feet, another rock in my way, until, that is, you prove yourself useful.

quote:Originally posted by nocuous:

Just because it's a message board in the "current era" and not a thesis, it's appropriate to sound uneducated? Kay.

-Nocuous

[This message has been edited by nocuous (edited 02-02-2004).]

it would only "sound" uneducated to pretentious asses who arent really bright enough to discern between ignorance and convenience.

quote:Originally posted by mrman383:

it would only "sound" uneducated to pretentious asses who arent really bright enough to discern between ignorance and convenience.

No, if you don't take the time it takes to spell words correctly, use somewhat correct syntax, and capitalize words as needed, you would be better off talking to someone called "HotGurl/-\ss720" on aim, because you won't be taking too seriously here otherwise.

quote:Originally posted by Guswut:

No, not really, I'm an asshole online because my home life makes me bored with being nice, if I where to meet you in real life, and we didn't know each other (as in, I didn't know it was you, and you didn't know it was me), I would have said something like "Hello, how are you?", and not have told you to fuck off (oh, I just did, oh well. ).

If you'd rather me try and tell you the error of your ways, then you are talking to the wrong person, I don't care about you, you are just another bug under my feet, another rock in my way, until, that is, you prove yourself useful.

im thinking i should stop replying to you. obviously im keeping you from taking your meds on time and the delusions keep getting out.

and just to be helpful:

thats a joke and you missed the point entirely.

quote:Originally posted by mrman383:

it would only "sound" uneducated to pretentious asses who arent really bright enough to discern between ignorance and convenience.



Oh, so you ignore the importance of language for convenience? Oh well that’s not ignorant at all.

Congratulations, you're not only ignorant, but you’re lazy too.

-Nocuous

quote:Originally posted by mrman383:

im thinking i should stop replying to you. obviously im keeping you from taking your meds on time and the delusions keep getting out.

and just to be helpful:

thats a joke and you missed the point entirely.

Sure it was, just like your life, eh?

Don't worry, defeat is all that can come (for you) of this "pissing match", don't be sad, get glad!

EdiT: And yes, I did understand that you where attempting to be "funny", so I took it to the next level, and countered with my own "humor", but you seem unable to retort to my retort with a retort that retorts my retort, oh well, I didn't expect you to be able to.

[This message has been edited by Guswut (edited 02-02-2004).]

quote:Originally posted by nocuous:



Oh, so you ignore the importance of language for convenience? Oh well that’s not ignorant at all.

Congratulations, you're not only ignorant, but you’re lazy too.

-Nocuous

no, i ignore the few who are bothered by anything less than proper english text. language is about communication. my style communicated effectively with all but the most prissy shits. therefore, i consider my convenience more important than their bitching. if not seeing capital letters and being forced to read something in the manner it is spoken is too difficult for people like you, thats tough shit.

quote:Originally posted by mrman383:

no, i ignore the few who are bothered by anything less than proper english text. language is about communication. my style communicated effectively with all but the most prissy shits. therefore, i consider my convenience more important than their bitching. if not seeing capital letters and being forced to read something in the manner it is spoken is too difficult for people like you, thats tough shit.

The English language hasn't evolved thus far for some snot-nose little brat like you to go and misuse it. Here, read this (http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=39018), it will help a bit, read this (http://www.ohiou.edu/esl/english/) after that, it should be of more help.

Next post, show us you can type English correctly.

quote:Originally posted by Guswut:

The English language hasn't evolved thus far for some snot-nose little brat like you to go and misuse it. Here, read this (http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=39018), it will help a bit, read this (http://www.ohiou.edu/esl/english/) after that, it should be of more help.

Next post, show us you can type English correctly.

someone needs to learn when to pick his battles. some things are worth fighting for, the proper use of english language on an internet message board is not one of them. im sorry capital letters and apostrophes are so very important to you. however, they are not important to me in this setting.

by the way, you might want to add a comma to "snot-nose, little brat". just helping a brother out.

quote:Originally posted by mrman383:

someone needs to learn when to pick his battles. some things are worth fighting for, the proper use of english language on an internet message board is not one of them. im sorry capital letters and apostrophes are so very important to you. however, they are not important to me in this setting.

by the way, you might want to add a comma to "snot-nose, little brat". just helping a brother out.

Oh well, I tried to help you, but thanks for the suggestion with the picking battles, but I haven't died yet, so I'll just stick with my current flow... What was this topic on anyways... Assholes?

Well, I think we have showed everyone what a asshole looks (well, types like), anyone's opinion changed now?

quote:Originally posted by Guswut:

Oh well, I tried to help you, but thanks for the suggestion with the picking battles, but I haven't died yet, so I'll just stick with my current flow... What was this topic on anyways... Assholes?

Well, I think we have showed everyone what a asshole looks (well, types like), anyone's opinion changed now?

this is great, im learning by example. you see "Oh well, I tried to help you, but thanks for the suggestion with the picking battles, but I haven't died yet, so I'll just stick with my current flow..." is a terrible run on. education is a wonderful experience.

quote:Originally posted by mrman383:

this is great, im learning by example. you see "Oh well, I tried to help you, but thanks for the suggestion with the picking battles, but I haven't died yet, so I'll just stick with my current flow..." is a terrible run on. education is a wonderful experience.

You're welcome, at least you are learning.

quote:Originally posted by Guswut:

You're welcome, at least you are learning.



your obvious, unintended errors are all the instruction i need. thank you for helping me be more educated (and more sarcastic!) by fucking up your own "correct" english. i must also give credit to the other one, hes been dropping the ball regularly.

quote:Originally posted by mrman383:

your obvious, unintended errors are all the instruction i need. thank you for helping me be more educated (and more sarcastic!) by fucking up your own "correct" english. i must also give credit to the other one, hes been dropping the ball regularly.

I never said I was an English professor, or whatnot, I'm still learning myself, so a few errors are to be expected. Now, if you would like to continue insulting me, at least attempt to do so on a topic that you yourself are much worse at, idiot.

Talk about killing a perfectly good topic...

Put your dicks back in your pants boys, this is just fucking stupid.

quote:Originally posted by Guswut:

I never said I was an English professor, or whatnot, I'm still learning myself, so a few errors are to be expected. Now, if you would like to continue insulting me, at least attempt to do so on a topic that you yourself are much worse at, idiot.

ill let the mistake in the last sentence slide and instead focus on the comical belief you seem to hold. what seems to be evading your grasp is that i type this way on purpose. you are trying to be proper and failing. thats why this is funny.

quote:Originally posted by Sarcophagus:

Talk about killing a perfectly good topic...

Put your dicks back in your pants boys, this is just fucking stupid.

Sorry Sarc...

quote:Originally posted by Sarcophagus:

Talk about killing a perfectly good topic...

Put your dicks back in your pants boys, this is just fucking stupid.

No shit, but then again, why should I care what you think mortal?

~~~

quote:Originally posted by mrman383:

ill let the mistake in the last sentence slide and instead focus on the comical belief you seem to hold. what seems to be evading your grasp is that i type this way on purpose. you are trying to be proper and failing. thats why this is funny.

What you don't seem to understand is that I don't give a fuck anymore, I ruined another decent thread talking to a moron (yourself), so just shut up so I don't have to respond to another one of your stupid posts, I can't help myself when it comes to laughing at people like you, and laughing leads to posting about my laughing, and that leads to you posting a reply, and the cycle restarts.

If NEITHER of you really give a fuck then for god's sake SHUT UP ALREADY! Ever hear of taking things too far? Well that was about 6 posts ago...

[This message has been edited by Sarcophagus (edited 02-02-2004).]

Jesus Guswut you suck, this is too much bullshit.

Incase anyone remembers the original topic, my troubles turned out okay, it seems she wasnt really upset at all and everything is good.

Holy shit, I leave for an hour to run errands and there are 30 new posts.

Gus and Nocuous...you guys are hilarious.

bunghole got more and more likeable as mrloudmouth continued to cry.

Edit: And since bunghole's situation is all right, time to close this topic. Any mods/admins who disagree have the power to re-open it.

[This message has been edited by deadlycindy (edited 02-02-2004).]