Recently a "Husband Super Store" opened where women could go to choose a husband from among many men. It was laid out in five floors, with the men increasing in positive attributes as you ascended.

The only rule was, once you opened the door to any floor, you HAD to choose a man from that floor or continue on to the next floor; if you went up a floor, you couldn't go back down except to leave the store, never to return.

A couple of girlfriends went to the shopping centre to find some husbands...

First floor

The door had a sign saying, "These men have jobs and love kids." The women read the sign and said, "Well, that's better than not having a job or not loving kids, but I wonder what's further up?" So up they went.



Second floor

The sign read, "These men have high paying jobs, love kids, and are extremely good looking." "Hmmm," said the ladies, "But, I wonder what's further up?"

Third floor

This sign read, "These men have high paying jobs, are extremely good looking, love kids and help with the housework." "Wow," said the women, "Very tempting." But there was another floor, so further up they went.

Fourth floor

This door had a sign saying "These men have high paying jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking, help with the housework and have a strong romantic streak." "Oh, mercy me," they cried, "Just think what must be awaiting us further on!

So up to the fifth floor they went.

Fifth floor

The sign on that door said, "This floor is empty and exists only to prove that women are fucking impossible to please. The exit is to your left, we hope you fall down the stairs."

*hearty chuckle*

But of course we'd continue to ascend...dick size IS important, ya know, and none of the floors mentioned it yet.

That was awsome.

Fucking great, Sarc. Thank for the laugh!

Hahaha, good, but it (inability to be pleased, that is) applies to all humans, and not just females.

I thought the fifth floor was gonna say "These men are married" and the moral of the joke was going to be that all the good ones are taken.

But I like this one a lot better.

-Nocuous

Three gay men died, and were going to be cremated. Their lovers happened to be at the funeral home at the same time, and were discussing what they planned to do with the ashes.

The first man said, "My Benny loved to fly, so I'm going up in a plane and scatter his ashes in the sky."

The second man said, "My Carl was a good fisherman, so I'm going to scatter his ashes in our favorite lake."

The third man said, "My Jim was such a good lover, I think I'm going to dump his ashes in a pot of chili, so he can tear my ass up just one more time".

quote:Originally posted by Spiffy McBang:

Three gay men died, and were going to be cremated. Their lovers happened to be at the funeral home at the same time, and were discussing what they planned to do with the ashes.

The first man said, "My Benny loved to fly, so I'm going up in a plane and scatter his ashes in the sky."

The second man said, "My Carl was a good fisherman, so I'm going to scatter his ashes in our favorite lake."

The third man said, "My Jim was such a good lover, I think I'm going to dump his ashes in a pot of chili, so he can tear my ass up just one more time".

Is there a part to this where I say "Haha."?

i woulda stayed on the fourth floor ... i mean, that's like practically the most you could ask for ... women who would go on to the fifth floor are waaaaaaaay too high maintenance and will probably never be happy with any guy they have because they're always expecting more.

quote:Is there a part to this where I say "Haha."?

Are you gay? You must be if you didnt get atleast a chuckle out of that. I guess its not as funny if it actually happens to you



[This message has been edited by Anthrax (edited 02-02-2004).]

my dad is gay, That is the funniest gay joke ever.

quote:Originally posted by Anthrax:

Are you gay? You must be if you didnt get atleast a chuckle out of that. I guess its not as funny if it actually happens to you

[This message has been edited by Anthrax (edited 02-02-2004).]



What do they like use chili to rape each other in the ass or something? I don't get it, that doesn't mean I'm gay.

Edit: Oh now I get it. Becasue he would eat the chili and it would tear his ass up on the way down.



[This message has been edited by swimming fetus (edited 02-03-2004).]

...you're a fuckin IDIOT.

quote:Originally posted by Love Metal_666:

...you're a fuckin IDIOT.

Hehe. Yep.

No.

[quote]

Edit: Oh now I get it. Becasue he would eat the chili and it would tear his ass up on the way down.



[This message has been edited by swimming fetus (edited 02-03-2004).][/B][/QUOTE



HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA THAT WAS ALMOST FUNNIER THEN THE JOKE HAHAHAHHA

Geez, the joke wasn't that great. Don't give her laughs just because she has a pussy and you have a dick

lol, I agree with the above poster too.

I'm so funny.

quote:Originally posted by ctm0808:

Geez, the joke wasn't that great. Don't give her laughs just because she has a pussy and you have a dick

FYI, they were discussing Spiffy's joke, and as far as I know, Spiffy has a dick, too.

And Sarc's having a pussy is irrelevant to the joke being funny, Mr. Grumpy.

quote:Originally posted by ctm0808:

Geez, the joke wasn't that great. Don't give her laughs just because she has a pussy and you have a dick

So that is why I'm so damn funny!

"And Sarc's having a pussy is irrelevant to the joke being funny, Mr. Grumpy."

Of course it isn't, but I was saying it's relevant to the amount of laughs she received, lol. Betcha if a guy posted it, it would have gotten less. Post that joke on fugly.com's forums, it'll get the response it deserves!

and yes, lol I'm grumpy/paranoid as hell when it comes to anything that has to do with a guy and a girl :S heh heh it's weird. In my mind, practically every single guy is some fuckin' jerkoff asshole, who routinely says/does bullshit to girls, and the girl is always too god damn stupid to see it coming. Particularly with relationships that have a big age difference, I can't fucking stand that. People are fuckin retarded with sex too, lol.

Girl: "omg I fucked that Eric guy!"

No, YOU didn't fuck anyone, lol you let yourself get taken advantage of, and somehow had the illusion that you were in charge or something.

Guy: "mannn I fucked that Jessica girl."

Bravo, jerkoff, and I bet she was 3 or 4 years younger then you. Faggots like you who go around subtely bragging about it don't deserve shit, so go try sucking your *own* dick til your neck breaks.

I HATE IT AHHH!H!H!H!!!!!!! And yes, lol I've been through the whole suicide thing, so don't suggest it. I was thinking more along the lines of killing OTHER people this time. (jk).

Geezus, sort out your goddamn issues dude, it's a friggin joke.

Mountains and mole-hills buddy, learn to relax and take at least a few things at face value, or get some medication.

haha no no, my whole response wasn't all directed at your joke, heh heh just got carried away :|

lol nah, no medication for me though. Already seen a psychiatrist a few times, heh heh and I'm "fine" now

I was walking down the street the other day and there are these two bums making out. Then this guy comes out of nowhere and says hey you two get a box.

2 bums were walking down the train tracks. One of them spots a dead cat and runs over and starts to eat it. He asks the other one "Hey man don't you want any of this?" The other bum said "No, that's fucking disgusting." "Suit yourself" the first bum said. Alittle while later the first bum starts to not feel so good and he pukes every where. Then the other bum says "Finally, a warm meal."

Gawd.. S&A related jokes only, please..