Please help, this is really important.

My boyfriend has kinda low self-esteem and his Dad yells and him a lot and calls him a screw-up, etc. He's really sensitive about it and he gets depressed when he's around his dad. Is there any way I can help him feel better or anything?

Yeah, show him that you're there for him, no matter what. Give him the love his father never did.

Why does his dad hate him?

Try to get him to run away, things will be better this way.

Let me warn you here, if you step in and give him the love that his father doesn't, he is going to be really attached to you.

But having said that, you can of course be there for him, tell him how much of a good person he is, point out all the wonderful things he does etc.

I hate to be a nerd and suggest a book, but buy him THE FOUR AGREEMENTS by Don Miguel Ruiz (you'll find it in the self help section). Even if he doesn't like to read, get him to read the chapter entitled Agreement 2 : dont take anything personally. He has to be willing to take it seriously and actually learn from that, but it has really helped me at some points of sadness caused by family or friends.

Good luck

Blowjobs always make guys feel a bit better...

Seriously though, he'll have to get over this Dad thing on his own. All you can do is be supportive and loving, counteract his father's negativity with your own positive attitude. Be sympathetic, but encourage him to let it go rather than focusing on it all the time. Let him know that you care about the problem, but that it's your goal to distract him from it so that he can focus on more important things, like living.

[This message has been edited by Sarcophagus (edited 01-29-2004).]

in the words of the great maddox.

A blow job.

Nothing fancy, just a good old fashioned pole polishing.

Thanks, but he can't just forget about it, because it is personal. His dad used to him when he was little (and his mom). I talked to him about it, but they can't leave because

A) His dad is friends with a bunch of cops

B) His dad supports them, so they have nowhere to go.

I know there are places like CASDA and other abuse places, but I seriously doubt they would ever go to a place like that.

Do people acknowledge to your bf that his father is a dipshit?

Avoid "glossing over" or trying to say things like "it doesn't matter" or "it'll be okay." Placating him with soothing words and reminding him of what a great person he is also can be counter-productive. Often we mean well when we say those things, but minimizing the situation can mess him up even more.

Between the soothing words, he needs to hear and acknowledge that yes, his father is messed up. His father isn't a good man who means well, he's a man with anger issues and psychological problems which he takes out on his son. This isn't fair, and he's in a terrible situation.

Sometimes all it takes is at least one family "outsider" to point this out. Otherwise, your bf begins to question his own perceptions and his self-esteem will continue to plummet.

quote:Originally posted by MindGutter:

in the words of the great maddox.

A blow job.

Nothing fancy, just a good old fashioned pole polishing.

What if his dad doesn't swing that way? ¬_¬

quote:Originally posted by PSYCH0TIK:

Please help, this is really important.

My boyfriend has kinda low self-esteem and his Dad yells and him a lot and calls him a screw-up, etc. He's really sensitive about it and he gets depressed when he's around his dad. Is there any way I can help him feel better or anything?



brooke???

quote:Originally posted by wisdom-is-strength:



brooke???

No, sorry, not the person you're looking for

Tell him you undertsnad, he's not alone, and suggest he speak to the school counsler, they'll just let him get it off his chest.

Female counslers seem to be more understand

*Biased*