Man, I was gonna try to explain why I'm doing a personal ad, but... fuck it. I don't have the right social scene or the right social skills to meet women who aren't bad news, so I'm trying a personal ad in hopes of finding a women who isn't going to fuck on the first date and try to give me syphillis.

I'd be interested in advice, especially from the ladies and those who have been successful with personal ads, on what kinds of information I should add or take away from what I've written. I know photos are important, but I distrust folks with cameras, so trying to find a recent photo where I'm not either looking shady or passed out is proving difficult.

So, here's what I got:

quote:How would you describe yourself?

Where to start... After a few years at college, I've moved back in with my mother and sister. Right now, I work in the construction industry. That keeps me pretty busy during the week. On the weekends, I go out to dinner and parties with friends. I enjoy spending time outdoors doing things like shooting skeet or targets. I'm kind of a news junkie. I spend most of my day at work in a truck, so I end up listening to a lot of National Public Radio news and public affairs programming. I'm kind of conservative. I don't practice any religion, but I have no problem with religious folks. My job keeps me in pretty good shape. I try to dress neatly and keep myself fairly clean-cut.

Describe the person you would like to meet.

She should be a somewhat attractive, easy going, open-minded, and interesting person.





Also, if there's gonna be ad crtiquing going on here, I don't see why it should be limited to mine. If you've got one that you think needs work, feel free to post it.

Edit: fixed some formatting

[This message has been edited by beatmeofficer (edited 01-28-2004).]

My initial impression is that you're asking for a lot from a woman, and not offering much in return.

I don't think this ad does the best job of representing you. What I read is a "dude with no direction or goals who lives with his mother." Surely you're much more than that.

Accentuate your interests and strong points, and explain why you're seeking company.

When you say I'm aaking for a lot, is that related to something I wrote in the ad or just a general sense? When I talk about the kind of woman I'd like to meet, you think I should focus on what would be ideal or one excluding ones who simply won't work?

I probably do sound like a boring alcoholic gun-nut with few goals and little direction. Shit... there's gotta be some good point... I guess I'm also bright, good looking, and err... wry, but is it possible to say those things without sounding like an arrogant tool?

Dude, you ARE bright, from what I've read in your posts. No one else is going to toot your horn, so you have to. Take your best shot at building yourself up, and we'll go from there.

Why do you listen to NPR? What kinds of stuff do you read? You don't have to mention being a "gun nut."

As far as asking for too much...many females, especially the "attractive" ones, are put off by ads that request "an attractive woman."

I suppose this would be one of those times when it is important to talk myself up. The idea to do so just doesn't really come naturally to the top of my mind.

It has never ocurred to me that mentioning that I would like to meet someone attractive [to me] would be off-putting. It makes perfect sense. In any case, my taste isn't exactly typical, so I don't see any loss in taking that out. I'll also try to expand that paragraph; I was sick of writing (and editing, and rewriting a few times) by the time I got there.

I'll sleep and think on this at work and ought to have a new revision by tomorrow night. I really appreciate the help. I already feel better about how this thing is going to turn out.

[This message has been edited by beatmeofficer (edited 01-28-2004).]