Again anyone who knows my posts will know that my g/f and myself have yet to meet in person. Anyway she arrives here next week. Ok originally she was coming on her own then her friend was coming as I think she got a bit nervous as I know I would be. Anyway hr friend I think decided she didnt want to be in the way and decided not to come anyway she has said herself she wants to some on her own now anyway and that it was just to get her friend a bit of a break from home. Ok well at first she was talking of staying in my place (I am back living wiht parents) Then when her friend was coming she said about staying in a hotel or a B&B and wanting me to stay with her there.

Then as I said the friend wasnt coming but we still were talking about the hotel and all as it would give us more privacy and all. It would be expensive though. I mean the reason I am back home is that when I left the job I was in in a different town for a job back here the only other accomodation Id have goten would have cost about 1000-1500 per month before bills and food etc just to get a tiny room in a house or a flat share. It is just very expensive to get a place here at the moment as there is whats being called a housing crisis!

Anyway myself and my mother have been getting on ok these past few months and Id say she would give us space and her fiance I say fiance but they have sort of split and are in seperate rooms at thje moment, would also give us our space. She has said about not waning to impose on my family and all but like I have said she wouldnt be.

She was also saying about being in the hotel and the privacy we could have and she could sort of do whatever she wants and all as in wear whatever without thinking about who might be in the room! Well I was thinking it would be a bit of a break for me too if we got a room and all but I dont really see the need I mean I have had girls in my room since I was a kid without any hassles and all. And like I said I know we would be given space and all. So for me getting the room would just be a bit of a break but not a necessity. However there the other night she again asked could she stay here with me. I said yes of course and again said that I can sleep on the couch if she wanted and she could take my bed or whatever made her comfortable. Anyway she says she wants me to be sleeping with her and was just saying that she would like to stay with me where I am most comfortable or something.

I suppose Im just wondering to myself what would be best? Hotel room or my room. I mean Id love for her to stay here but I wouldnt want her feeling uncomfortable or anything even though she is saying its what she wants. I mean fro mthe start thats what she wwas talking about doing but I just amnt sure whether she is thinking I migt prefer my place than a hotel but doesnt really want to say anything. I have said this to her and she is sounding like she originally did and is sure she wants to stay in my place. I mean I sort of think she is wanting to get to know more about the ins and outs of what my life consists of which is good and wants to be in say my natural surrondings. Its just that I want to makesure she is 100% comfortable. I was thinking of maybe getting my friends place in the country for a couple of nights (Its a holiday home they rent out) just for a change of scenery.

I dont really know what to do though any other suggestions?

Do you have the money for a hotel? If not, problem solved. Because your mom and significant other sound okay with you bringing her home I would try that approach first. She will quickly become either comfortable with this arrangement, or not. If she isn't comfortable, then at that point, if you have the funds do the hotel thing, or your friend's place.

Talk to your mom first and stress how important it is to you for her to make this girl feel welcome. And you and your gf don't go out of your way to disrespect the fact that you're in someone else's house. If everyone maintains a little common courtesy, no one should feel out of place. Like you mentioned, everyone wants their 'space', just realize this is primarily your mom's space and if you treat it as such, clean up after yourselves, offer to help with whatever tasks are at hand etc.. everyone should get along just fine.

It's good to be considerate of other's like what you're showing to be, just follow the golden rule and it'll work out.

-Extant

The more time you two spend together on your own the better. If you can afford just a few nights in a hotel, go for it. Especially for the first few days. Meeting someone in real life for the first time is a completely magical experience, I guarantee that both of you would be much more comfortable and would have a lot more fun if you were somewhere completely by yourselves. Just get out of your house for a few days, fuck like bunnies, run around buck nekid, do raunchy things to each other 24/7. Then after you've adjusted to each other you can introduce her to your mum and stay back at your place.

Also consider this, it's also a bit scary meeting someone for the first time. She'll be nervous meeting you, having to meet your family at the same time just adds that much more pressure. Let her adjust to you first, have you all to herself for a few days, and then ease her into the rest of your life.

this sounds very fimiliar, is her name loan? (pronounced "low-an")

[This message has been edited by choda (edited 01-25-2004).]

quote:Originally posted by choda:

this sounds very fimiliar, is her name loan? (pronounced "low-an")

[This message has been edited by choda (edited 01-25-2004).]

Dont get that one Im afraid. Can you explain please?

Anyway as far as stying in a hotel goes she was paying for that herself. I was thinking of taking her to my friends place becuse I sort of will be a bit short of cash because as usual after Christmas I am broke! I have to do alot of shit to get the cah togetehr to be able to entertain us both for the time she is here but I also need alot of cash for a ring if I am to get one! And at the moment I plan on doing so.

I know it will be totally different when we meet in person and all but I really feel we know each other well enough for her not to be feeling uncomfortable meeting my family. I mean it would not be some formal thing or anything. I think in the US it seems to be that meeting the family is a big deal but over here its not a major thing at all and Ive told her as much and she knows. I mean I am close still to alot of my family in that I would socialise with some of my uncles and cousins and all, not too often but it would happen. I guess I just want her to be as comfortable as possible and thats it.

quote:Originally posted by Mackofett:

Dont get that one Im afraid. Can you explain please?

Anyway as far as stying in a hotel goes she was paying for that herself. I was thinking of taking her to my friends place becuse I sort of will be a bit short of cash because as usual after Christmas I am broke! I have to do alot of shit to get the cah togetehr to be able to entertain us both for the time she is here but I also need alot of cash for a ring if I am to get one! And at the moment I plan on doing so.

I know it will be totally different when we meet in person and all but I really feel we know each other well enough for her not to be feeling uncomfortable meeting my family. I mean it would not be some formal thing or anything. I think in the US it seems to be that meeting the family is a big deal but over here its not a major thing at all and Ive told her as much and she knows. I mean I am close still to alot of my family in that I would socialise with some of my uncles and cousins and all, not too often but it would happen. I guess I just want her to be as comfortable as possible and thats it.



no, not a joke. i know a girl in my college who is doing the same thing (she is veitnames) and is fucking hot. well anyway she was telling me that she was going to ireland for a holiday to meet a boyfriend she met on the internet, her name is loan, (low-an)....guess its not you, as u woulda recocgnised the name.....anyway. i hope she (loan) gets raped.

[This message has been edited by choda (edited 01-26-2004).]

You are BY FAR the thickest sonuvabitch I've ever known.

quote:Originally posted by choda:

....anyway. i hope she (loan) gets raped.



That's just downright nasty.

I mean, I've met guys off the net before, and yeah, I'd absolutely love it if some spitefull little prick said that about me.

*sarcasm*

quote:Originally posted by Sarcophagus:

You are BY FAR the thickest sonuvabitch I've ever known.

I am thinking the same thing too!

For a start Choda my g/f isnt Vietnamese and her name isn't Loan or Low An or whatever and well I wont even get into anything about someone getting raped. I mean if you had seen any posts of mine before about this whole issue you might see that there are a few issues about that topic for my g/f and I am not the kind of person to be telling you want to see someone or anyone for that matter getting raped to. You have really pissed me off in saying that, you really in fact have no idea how pissed that makes me in reading that kind of shit and believe me you would never fucking say something like that out loud within a mile of my earshot.