Ok again anyone who has seen my posts knows the situation Im in! Basically I havent met in person my "Girlfriend" though she arrives here next Friday expecting me to propse to her and to have a whole lot of other stuff too. Anyway thats not it this time. I need to be able to show her that I am attracted to her in th physical sense! I think I have given her the impression that I might not be because I have been in one way trying too hard to let her know that when she arries I wouldnt be expecting anything physical and all. Though she initiated all talk of it I know she has issues about it and wouldnt pressure her but I think that she now feels I amnt into her in that way even though I am and try to tell her so!

There are so many things going on wiht this it is just a real pain! I mean I do love her she loves me I want this all to work as she does and I think I am pretty sure that I do want all she says she does but I just cant get her to fully realise that and be comfortable with the idea that just cos Im a male I dont have to behave like the prickless wonders she is used to!

I just want her to come over have a great time and in the ideal world I would propose and go back home with her and stay a while then wed come back here get married and setle down and all! Though I cant see it being that simple for some reason. I do know she is serious about all this I mean she is looking into colleges to transfer to over here?

I just want it to all work out but thee are money issues and all sorts of things that I need to sort out for all this to happen anyway. I just need her to see I want what she does and that I am atteacted to her in Every way not only but including physically, I mean she used to model and could still do so even after having a child! She is that good looking! I just cant gt her to realise I will be and already am attracted to her in every way not only physically!

Ummm, fuck her? Most men won't fuck women they aren't even remotely attracted to (though most men find remote attraction in a hole...).

quote:Originally posted by Hexadecimal:

Ummm, fuck her? Most men won't fuck women they aren't even remotely attracted to (though most men find remote attraction in a hole...).

I am attracted to her and though as a male the thought of any hole is appealing I can refrain from just whipping it out at the mere sight of one! Seriously though, she is in marks out of ten a 9 in anyones books and thats being very very very picky and all! I mean she is a 10 in my eyes because I know her in more ways than that but she is soooo beautiful of course I want us to have sex! I mean she is forever bringing it up and all and I would love it to happen but sometimes she seems to think I amnt being serious! And as I said I may have brouhgt that on because I have been trying to make her see thats not all Im interested in! I mean I had fallen in love with her having seen a few pics of her that were Ok but not the ones she sent in which she is trully amazing! In othr words I am in love with her and her personality not just her appearance, which is an added bonus!

Then tell her that shit, not me. I've noticed that about 90% of the people who come here with their problems wouldn't have problems if they talked to the people involved instead. Ask if her she feels like you don't think she's attractive, and before she answers, make sure you tell her just how attractive you find her to be. Christ man, communication is the key to a relationship...not retreating to online strangers to give you advice.

Take her into your room.

Leave the light on.

Undress her.

Look into her eyes and say you are beautiful.

Have long passionate sex with foreplay and the lights on.

In the morning tell her you love the ay she smiles or her eyes look or any specific feature of her ecept her breasts ass or cunt.

quote:Originally posted by mesbekevin:

In the morning tell her you love the ay she smiles or her eyes look or any specific feature of her ecept her breasts ass or cunt.

Actually... look at everything, unless you know she has a specific dislike of a certain part of her body and you don't think paying attention to it will help more than it will hurt.

Just from what you put as the title to this thread tells me you're uptight and nervous about meeting her, but with no real basis to be so. Try and relax a little. The only problems I see are in your head. If you keep worrying about what might go wrong, you're liable to bring it on subconciously.

It sounds like you've got a good thing happening for you. Have a drink or two before she arrives if that's what it takes to calm you down. If the chemistry meshes IRL like it did over the net, I guarantee it'll take 5 minutes and you'll realize all your preconceived worries were ill-founded. Best of luck to ya.

-Extant

We do talk all the time about these things! I mean yesterday for example we spoke for about 2 hours from 5-7pm my time and 30 mins wasnt about this thing! Then at 11-3.30am again and most of it was again about all this. Ok originally she was coming over and stying here with me. Then her friend was coming and she said they would get a hotel and that way we would have privacy as I am back living in my parents place. She then said friend not coming but thought we would get a room together and all anyway. I was saying ok but it will be very expensive and I have no problem with her staying here (She was saying she didnt want to impose and all) I mean I am only back living here these past few months since I left a job in another area and had to come back to Dublin where I would have to fork out 1200euro a month before bills to get a room in a shared house so itws cheaper here! Anyway she was going on then about us not being able to do anything if she came and stayed here because of parents and all. As in she wanted to know would I want her to stay here because we would be in different rooms or something or couldnt have privacy. I assured her that wasnt the case, I mean myself and my mother have only stared to really get on in the past few months but she has always been ok about shit like that and would more than likely go and stay with family for the week to give me space with my g/f, my mothers ex (They recently split which is also kind of why Im here to keep the peace) is ok about it too and has said he'd give us space too. Anyway she knows its not that and only last night she was asking would I sleep in the room with her and saying sh would want that and so I of course said yes. I have told her I would never expect her to do anything but I have never said I wouldnt want it to happen. I have told her several times how I think it would be great for that to happen and how much it would mean to me. She just sometimes really has a hard time believing these things andI think its down to the fact she has been treaadted badly in the past by men. Very badly in fact.

She has a 3 yr old and the fatehr didnt want to know. She has been through 2 attacks by the same person in the past year and her job revolves around sick bastards. I just find it hard myself not to feel a bit hurt at imes that she might not believe what I am saying because of the actions of some other bastard. I mean she says not to think that and all but I cant help it sometimes.

She recently emailed me about this "Dream/ fantasy" she had for us and asked me about mine or if I had any and was a bit playful about it like you tell me yours I'll tell you mine kind of thing. Anyway I amn't uptight in any way at all about sex or talking about it or anything but I have never written the kind of thing I wrote for her about it and what I think it would be like for us and all. Anyway she did like it and said that it did make her feel a bit more relaxed about me liking her in that sort of way and so I said Id write another and so I have started it and all. Anyway though I ahve sent her numerous email and spent hours on the phone telling her how I want us to have a physical relationship as well as the kind we are in already, and I tell her how beautiful she is all the time and her reaction to that goes from one day being all playful about it to the next day being all "No I amnt Im fat and ugly" in a serious way and telling me I wont like the way she looks or that I wont like hr in bed and all.

I dont know I guess its just frutrating to hear her talk like that sometimes when I know how beautiful she really is inside and out.

she sounds really insecure and like she maybe needs therapy. (no joke.) next time she mentions any of that shit about being fat or ugly, try not to go on about the topic. don't even entertain or humor the thoughts, because they're sick. and don't be offended by how she feels. just try to help her find a therapist.

quote:Originally posted by lauren7249:

she sounds really insecure and like she maybe needs therapy. (no joke.) next time she mentions any of that shit about being fat or ugly, try not to go on about the topic. don't even entertain or humor the thoughts, because they're sick. and don't be offended by how she feels. just try to help her find a therapist.

She is very insecure about things like this. However she does have good reasons and has been to a therapist a while back but didnt get on too well and stopped going. I mean I had to go to counselling over my own addictions and I had major problems finding one that I would open up to so I understand her not going back. Anyway I think I am sort of in a type of way her therapist in that she talks to me about the things that have gone on and all and becaus eof some of the shit Ive been through I can talk to her about them and we sort of compliment each other but when it comes to her taking a compliment or anything its a bit hard for her. I mean she started off by going "I bet you say that to everyone" to "Someone likes dishing out the compliments" til I told her I dont give out compliments ever and I dont so I was telling her its because of how she makes me feel and all that kind of thing. She then started to be ok with it all but then something bad happened again to her and she sort of has a hard time accepting some things I tell her. I mean she brought up the subject of marriage a while back and I was in no way putting her off and was in fact saying Id love for us to one day get married and all. Anyway this wasnt all that serious at first but we spoke alot about it and well we are now engaged to be engaged and all that I need to do is physically put the ring on her finger. Anyway she has said she will believe it when she sees it. Not the ring (Which could be out of a christmas cake) me actually propsing, she just keeps saying that nobody has ever wanted to get that close to her before and all. Now to that I say good because the same applies to me and the way I look at it is if wither of us were to have been that serious with someone else we might never have met! But she just has had a real bad time of it with men and I understand that as I have friends who have had the same bad times and know how they can get at times. Its just that I suppose my feelings get a bit hurt at times over this because I am here trying to tell her these things that I would never have said to any girl I was ever with before and I really mean these things and its just a bit hard to take that she might not take me as seriously as she says she is about me.

Anyway bottom line is therapy is not really an option and I amnt sort of blowiing my own trumpet here but she really has said a few times about how much better and easier things have been for her since we met. I mean only last week she had a really bad day (A friend was dead a year) and she has said about how she would probably have hurt herself and all that because of how it makes her feel but she didnt and she puts it down to me being there for her. She does tell me she knows I am serious but then she just says something and will sort of look for reassurances. I dont know its all just a liitle upsetting to think that this beautiful girl is having a hard time taking in what I am telling her.