What would you call it when you have like a friend with benefits who you don't/ haven't had sex with? Its just like a bit of fooling around and stuff... nothing overtly sexual.

Also, how would I take this to the next level? I mean, I'd like to do something nice for her, maybe go down on her, but any other suggestions of something that she'd like would be good.

fucking retarded, kid? If she's a friend with benefits that's all you do: fuck. The way you describe it it seems like it wasn't actually an agreement between you two but rather you're trying to persuade your friend to have sex with you.

*shrug*

Meh, mebe. Not really what I'm aiming for.

i've always just used fuk buddys

Looking back over the Ladder theroy, this seems to fit in with cuddle bitch. Thing is, it makes out like thats a bad thing, and this is really nice.

Well, I'm not saying it isn't. However, if you're content with that, why do you want to fuck her or as you said "take it farther"? I mean, there really has to be a shared understanding and you're set. If you're already half way there and are already fooling around, next time you notice she's aroused just go further and see if she lets it happen.

Now, I'm from germany. Is it further or farther? god damn...

Further.

quote:Originally posted by Geenie:

Well, I'm not saying it isn't. However, if you're content with that, why do you want to fuck her or as you said "take it farther"? I mean, there really has to be a shared understanding and you're set. If you're already half way there and are already fooling around, next time you notice she's aroused just go further and see if she lets it happen.

Now, I'm from germany. Is it further or farther? god damn...

Well, I don't know, its like... this could just be a friendly thing, I'm not sure quite how open she is. And yes, I am content with that. But its like... it could be even better. As to going to the next stage, I don't know how to "ask", and I don't know if she would ask if she wanted me to go further either.

It would really help if you defined "a bit" of fooling around. You generally progress from one thing to the next until, voila, you've got a faceful of pussy, but it's hard to say where you go next without knowing where you're at.

Cuddling, massaging, rubbing... kissing, but not on the lips. Clothes on mostly, but she hasn't minded me touching her anywhere that normally you would with a non b/f.

Its not a stage on the "standard" progression route, which is why I'm kinda confused I suppose.

Any thoughts?

Mr. Sopron:

You say...."...as to going to the next stage,I don't know how to ask, and I don't know if she would ask if she wanted me to go further either".

The answer is NO, it is unlikely the girl will "ask". Only one way to solve your problem.....TALK TO HER!! (OMG....Men are soooooo mute!!)(hee hee)!! Love, Venus.

"Men are soooooo mute!!" That's what I'm saying. These guys wouldn't even have the problems they come here to talk about if they talked to the women about them instead...fucking dolts.

Hexadecimal: You're SOOOooooo rockin' right!!!! Hear us guys?!? THE BUZZ WORDS ARE "TALK TO THE GIRLS"!!! Love, Venus.

And if we talk and she says no... doesn't that just fuck a lot of stuff up?

^^^you're right you could mess things up by talking. so how did this fooling around start anyway? how do you guys know each other? cuz thats important.

We'd been friends for ages, then I gave her a shoulder rub that became a back/ all body massage. It then sorta turned into a fairly common thing when we see each other.

you like her, its that simple. so do it the proper way, be a man, and ask her out or something. otherwise if you try to go further she'll think you're just a really horny guy who's using her.

^^^

That makes sense, but I'm pretty convinced from the conversations we've had about her ex b/fs that I'm not up to spec for what she wants in a relationship. That doesn't preclude the possiblity of a friendship or cuddle-bitch type relationship though

Also, I don't think I'm using her, I mean, she wouldn't hang about if she wasn't enjoying it, and she certainly wouldn't initiate it again

ive been in this situation as a girl. you dont have to be her boyfriend.

the problem is though that you two haven't clearly said to each other "hey lets be fuck buddies" or something like that, so that may not be her intention. therefore, dont just call her so you can mess around. take her out or something. you don't even have to pay. (though once in a while might be nice.) or just invite her over to chill. if you want to go down on her, just be like, "hey _____, i got an idea. i want to go down on you. what do you think?"

That sounds... really sensible.

Just so you know tho, I don't call her up just to mess around, we almost invariably get a film or smoke some weed or even just talk for a couple of hours first. Its a nice way to round off an evening though.