OK, I'll try to summarize this as quick as possible, I'm head over heels for a girl, who's every signal says that she likes me. However every time I get close and into a position to where I could ask her out she starts avoiding me and sends me long emails saying stuff about why, basically she doesn't want to be hurt, she's been hurt too many times, any one have any ideas on how to maybe get rid of that notion and convince her that I'm not going to be like the rest?

Bah. Women. I've been there too.

Long story short:

This chick Sara gave me every signal that she wanted to be with me but talked about how we should take it slow, because she's been hurt by asshole-types before. I respected her wishes, took it slow, showed my compassionate side, made no definitions and she ended up going out with the same type of asshole she always did.

Moral of the story: Chicks fuckin' blow man.

[Assuming you are in high school]

High-School chicks are damn melodramatic about their past relationships. You can be surprised how fast a guy having a condom in his wallet can turn into being pressured to have sex before she's ready.

Play hard to get. She's messing with you - mess back.

EDIT: Fuck don't listen to me. I'm still bitter about that Sara chick.

-Nocuous



[This message has been edited by nocuous (edited 01-19-2004).]

The way I read this, she has an issue with trust, and it being violated. She's had one or two bad experiences before with a guy breaking her heart and her trust. I don't know if there is anything you can do, besides wait for her to make herself trust you. You can't force her to, of course. If you really want to be with this gril, just give it time, and give her space to decide she wants to be with you.

Tell her that you will do whatever she wants. Take everythign slow. Just stay the same as you are now and get to know her better, so that she can get to know you better too. The better she knows you, the more she will give in and want to be with you, that is if she really likes you.

There is this girl in my school named Ginny who purposely gives guys (all guys) signs that she likes them but in fact doesn't. She gets off on it when guys ask her out because she has been coming on to them and she writes them 20 page letters on how she declines, she gets pleasure from that type of stuff that makes her feel so above everyone else cause she keeps rejecting decent guys. Fuck the new "emo" fad.

sit her down, tell her you want an emotionally stable girl and then never talk to her again. theres plenty of women out there, why waste your time with the blatently nuts ones? shes a fucking head case, move on.

whatever you do, don't tell her you'll do "everything she wants"

go with noc on this one. Play hard to get and just be like "I don't have time for this bullshit; I like you a lot but I'm not here to waste my time, call me when you're ready to have a relationship"

that does it. She just needs to realize that she needs to make a move (whatever that may be) otherwise she will think that she can just take however much time she wants and fuck you over!

Sorry it took me so long to reply things have been hectic around here lately. Cops making false charges, trying to sell a house...just too much stuff for one week and still going to school and trying to make a relationship work. Thanks to most of the people who posted, including mrman383, although I will have to repectfully decline his advice. The rest of you pretty much said the things that have been running around in my mind. That helps in the way of aiding in my confidence that I may be thinking correctly about this. As for if she really likes me or not, someone mentioned it, not sure who, her friends, one of whom I've known since elementary school, all say that she does. One even got into a fight recently because of the girl I like's standoffish-ness around me. And when asked she gave a really long story and danced around the bush for a long time before finally saying that she can't stand to see her friend "treat me like that" (which by the way I have no problem with how she treats me) when she knows how both of us feel. Its getting more and more complicated as time is moving on, although in about two-three months it will become much easier with my aquiring a drivers license. I made the mistake of telling a friend and he said pretty much the same thing mrman383 said and has since been trying to hook me up with an easy girl, and since I have somewhat higher requirements than just a girl I can get in the sack in under thirty minutes, I don't go with them and of course they then think I'm a cold-hearted, psychotic, blah blah blah. I think Noc said it best, chicks freakin blow. NOw I'm giving some advice to anyone, if you go ten of the ten years you've been frieds with a person without telling them anything about your personal life and they've never told anyone these things they dont' know, don't start telling them things, because they will then blow it way out of proportion. OK, damn long post, thanks to all who contributed, peace out.



PS. on a TOTALLY UNRELATED SUBJECT, speaking of peace, can anyone tell me what the backwards peace sign that british people do means? I and a few of us rednecks around here are curious and making a new post for that would just get closed probably.

[This message has been edited by firebird (edited 01-29-2004).]

It's their verson of the middle finger. Means basically "Fuck You" or "Fuck Off."

Gracias, Ducky. Much appreciated.