I found something, in the bathroom attached to my parents room (this bathroom has a nice shower so I use it). Now this particular thing I don't want to mention, because I really don't want to think about it. And the second I saw it lying there on the counter, I nearly puked. It seems so out of character for my parents to have [this particular thing].

I just need to tell somebody. I can't look at my parents, it's just too wierd. Every time I look at them, my mind conjures up images of [this thing] and I have to look away.

Bah that's nothing.

I walked in on my dad fucking my mom up the ass with one of them wearing a leather bustier.

And my mom was naked.

My parents are like cats, secret fucking. Thank god for me.

phh..I've walked in on my mom fucking before. That was nothing...

You think you got it bad? I once found Polaroid’s of my mom naked. With her legs wide open.

She's also kind of senile. I once had to mop up foot prints of blood in the bath room. Then scrub it out of the carpet.

Beat that. I dare you.



-Nocuous

quote:Originally posted by nocuous:

She's also kind of senile. I once had to mop up foot prints of blood in the bath room. Then scrub it out of the carpet.

Beat that. I dare you.



-Nocuous

When I was 3, I accidentally found my mom's dildo. A giant, yellow dildo, I might add. I thought it was a toy and had it join my lego battleships and Ninka Turtles in the bathtub as a submarine.

Did she stop me? No. She didn't say a fucking word. That plastic horror had been up my mom's cooch, and she didn't do a thing.

Beat THAT.

quote:Originally posted by TwatLlama:

My parents are like cats, secret fucking. Thank god for me.

Yeah, but usually you still end up hearing cats even if you never see them. Me, I never hear or find any evidence to suggest my parents fuck. As far as I know my mom is enough of a sheeple catholic that they don't anymore. Thank buddha, allah, jesus, and gandhi for that.

quote:Originally posted by The_Rabbi:

When I was 3, I accidentally found my mom's dildo. A giant, yellow dildo, I might add. I thought it was a toy and had it join my lego battleships and Ninka Turtles in the bathtub as a submarine.

Did she stop me? No. She didn't say a fucking word. That plastic horror had been up my mom's cooch, and she didn't do a thing.

Beat THAT.

Oh please. You were 3 years old. You didn't even know your mom had a cooch.

I don't think you quite understand. My mom was menstruating. But she was so damn drunk or senile that she didn't even notice. There was a little puddle of brown blood dripping down the side of the bath tub. She walked through it. Tracked it out of the bathroom. Into the living room. And then slept like that.

I walked in. SMELLED it before I saw it. Then slowly realized what it was. Then noticed it was on the carpet too. I had to mop it up. Then get on my hands and knees and scrub it out of the carpet.

I think I win...

-Nocuous

quote:Originally posted by nocuous:

Oh please. You were 3 years old. You didn't even know your mom had a cooch.

She didn't stop it until 5 years later.

Alright, Ok, call it a tie?

quote:Originally posted by nocuous:

Alright, Ok, call it a tie?

Deal.

quote:You think you got it bad? I once found Polaroid’s of my mom naked. With her legs wide open.

Okay that one actually had my jaw hanging. Fuck thats gross.

quote:Originally posted by nocuous:

I don't think you quite understand. My mom was menstruating. . There was a little puddle of brown blood dripping down the side of the bath tub.

-Nocuous



Your mom bleeds brown blood??? Hmmm. I think you win.

DAMN! No wonder Rabbi is so fucked up... if I found a dude pounding my mom in the ass while wearing some leather thing I'd surely do these things

- start shaking

- blink

- slap myself

- moan

- groan

- "aaah"

- "what the fuck.."

- "no...you're..old"

- then I would proceed to cry

- and finally kill myself.

god I think I'm gonna puke just from imagining my mom fucking...

I had a friend who in primary school (Grade school for the Yanks I think you go til your about 12) anyway he came in one day with this "Thing" that he found at home and puuled it out and brought it up to our teacher! Of course the teacher was diturbed at being handed a vibrator by a 10 yr old boy and judging byt her reaction to the smell of he thing, it hadnt been cleaned the night before!

Never had the misforune of catching my mother at it though, and for that I am thankful!

my mum and dad went through a really bad break up and my dad got with this other woman, then about a year later i walked in on my dad fucking my mum up the ass on the kitchen counter.

O

MY

GOD!

i just went upstairs calmly and slit my wrists

quote:Originally posted by Nocuous:

Oh please. You were 3 years old. You didn't even know your mom had a cooch.

I don't think you quite understand. My mom was menstruating. But she was so damn drunk or senile that she didn't even notice. There was a little puddle of brown blood dripping down the side of the bath tub. She walked through it. Tracked it out of the bathroom. Into the living room. And then slept like that.

I walked in. SMELLED it before I saw it. Then slowly realized what it was. Then noticed it was on the carpet too. I had to mop it up. Then get on my hands and knees and scrub it out of the carpet.

I think I win...

-Nocuous

I must admit that this tragedy seems repulsive in many ways but my dear friend, what I saw the other day was far beyond what a sane human beeing could possibly endure. I was eating at McDonald's when I saw this horrible old woman walk in. She was putrid and was spreading a horrid oudor around her on a 10ft radius range. Later, this wom... let's call it "it" stood up and walked towards the bathroom. On her seat, we could see browny bloody shit that made me gag on sight. The smell was untollerable. Ten minutes later, she came out of the bathroom and directly went complaining to the manager about a weird smell in the bathroom. Two minutes later, some crew guy went in the bathroom and came out really fast. Ten seconds later, three more guys go there. I then procedded to eat my remaining stuff while holding all that piss that urged to go out. I couldn't hold it any longer so I went to the bathroom. Oh horror! Just as I pass in front of the lady's restroom, the door is wide open and I see three desesperate man with towels rolled around their faces, big rubber gloves and garbage bags around theire bodies moping a huge load of shit/piss/scat/diherrea/puke on the walls. At the same time, one of the dude takes away the towels on his face and begin to violently puke on the floor. Needless to say, I ran out and pissed in another place.

^

|

If that had been your mom, you'd win.

My dog ate my moms tampons, then while i was asleap the fucker licked me on the face .i could taste and smell it. i spendt the rest of the night brushing my teeth and washing my face.

Hahaha... this thread made me laugh , thanks

People, your parents gotta fuck and whatnot like the rest of us... get over it, and post pics if ya gottem... lol

quote:Originally posted by nocuous:

Beat that.



I'm not going to be beating ANYTHING for a while after reading some of the posts in this topic....

For the record, menstrual blood can sometimes be brownish, especially toward the end of a period.

Commentary on the rest of this thread: ugh.

just one thing....

THANK GOD I LIVE BY MYSELF!!!!!!

that shit is foul....why on earth did you want to share that with us??? i know share and share alike but some stuff should be kept to yourself!!

quote:Originally posted by deadlycindy:

Commentary on the rest of this thread: ugh.

Why would you go on after you read the first three posts?

^Obviously you did.

Thank you, for helping me in this trying time.

I love you TOTSE

So what exactly was it that you saw, prozak_jack?

quote:Originally posted by LeToastaire:

So what exactly was it that you saw, prozak_jack?

Yeah dude.

Ah, shite, are you fucking dim?

Hell, even I don't know. Give details.

I imagine he just walked in on his parents fucking. But, as the rest of this thread proves, it could be a lot of things...

So do tell.

-Nocuous

Since he saw "it lying on the counter" I presume it was a sex toy of some sort, most likely a dildo/vibrator.

I'd say be glad your parents have a good enough relationship that they still enjoy each other sexually.

quote:Originally posted by deadlycindy:

I'd say be glad your parents have a good enough relationship that they still enjoy each other sexually.

From what I read, he doesn't.

This forum is another scarring for life. Damn, I'm one scarred mother.

quote:Originally posted by prozak_jack:

Ah, shite, are you fucking dim?

Yeah, Geez! Come on, guys! It's obvious that he found a family picture... I mean, which one of his descriptions doesn't it fit?

quote:Originally posted by deadlycindy:

Since he saw "it lying on the counter" I presume it was a sex toy of some sort, most likely a dildo/vibrator.

I'd say be glad your parents have a good enough relationship that they still enjoy each other sexually.

Yeah DC, I guess you're right. I should be happy for them.

But YUCK!

i think nocuous deffinatly wins that one if you were a kid and played with a fuckin dildo you were innocent and probably didnt even mind it....till you acutally found out wtf it was....cuz having to *clean up* after your mom....thats just fuckin sick dude...im sorry but i wouldnt even do that...thats her shit and she can clean it up when she sobers up in the morning... that one deffinatly goes to nocuous