I have a g/f of about 18 months, i love her and shes convinced me she loves me too, im 18, shes 20. The thing is im walkin on eggshells with her all the time. Shes always cheeky to me and usually hurts my feelins, but then usually comes back and manages to turn me around again.

Its started to get worse as she goes clubbin a lot with her friends, but never invites me, or talk about just me and her going out together alone, she just has less and less time for me but just tells me she "loves" me and expects that to balance it, if i talk to her about im "whingin"

Recently she went on an all weekender, drinkin and taking E's, the follwing weekend she got all serious and dumped me, so i took the chance to ask her if she cheated on me the previous weekend, she started to get tense and said no, then started to get angry and said yes, with someone who she couldnt remember anything about for a few hours, a while later she said she just said that to "shut me up" , i dunno how to take that. Soon after that she was begging me to take her back, it felt like the nice side of her again so i did.

Theres another rare side to her that is nice and gets on great with me sometimes, but that side is gettin rarer, shes out gettin drunk clubbin even more, and just generally seein me less and less but still convincing me she loves me, which feels genuine but i dunno.



I have been told to dtich her but i think its goin to be too hard and dunno what to do

Pretty rough... If it were me, anyone who puts you up with anything remotely close to that should not be bothered with. Its just not worth the trouble man. What you could do though, is beat her at her own game. Go out, have fun, do what shes does. See if she likes it. If it doesnt bother her then you know shes full of bs. Hope this helps.

dump her in a humiliating way.

One of the things i always thought we had was definately trust, but im not sure now whether i even should, ples she wont let me get rid of her cause ive tried before.

quote:Originally posted by Cobranaut:

dump her in a humiliating way.

But i have strong feelins for her which is why im still with her

quote:Originally posted by roadkill:

I have a g/f of about 18 months, i love her and shes convinced me she loves me too, im 18, shes 20. The thing is im walkin on eggshells with her all the time. Shes always cheeky to me and usually hurts my feelins, but then usually comes back and manages to turn me around again.

How were things before the 1 yr mark? Hear things get shakey after that...

Its started to get worse as she goes clubbin a lot with her friends, but never invites me, or talk about just me and her going out together alone, she just has less and less time for me but just tells me she "loves" me and expects that to balance it, if i talk to her about im "whingin"[/QUOTE]

Maybe she just wants some time away from you. Maybe you don't knw any of her friends, or maybe she doesnt want them to meet you(or vice versa)... Does she work/ study? 'Cos if nt she better have a good reason for spending less time together... Or maybe she's gotten bored





Recently she went on an all weekender, drinkin and taking E's, the follwing weekend she got all serious and dumped me, so i took the chance to ask her if she cheated on me the previous weekend, she started to get tense and said no, then started to get angry and said yes, with someone who she couldnt remember anything about for a few hours, a while later she said she just said that to "shut me up" , i dunno how to take that. Soon after that she was begging me to take her back, it felt like the nice side of her again so i did.[/QUOTE]

What she doing taking E without you in the first place?



Theres another rare side to her that is nice and gets on great with me sometimes, but that side is gettin rarer, shes out gettin drunk clubbin even more, and just generally seein me less and less but still convincing me she loves me, which feels genuine but i dunno.[/QUOTE]

The thing is you were too much of a nice guy in the past so she thinks she can take you fr granted. Change that.

I have been told to dtich her but i think its goin to be too hard and dunno what to do [/QUOTE]

Maybe you're just scared you wont be able to find yourself a new gal or sth.. its been 18 mths, no?

Cheers,

Sounds like she has psychological issues. If you can contend with her ways, then stay around. I doubt she'll outright dump someone who so willingly takes her crap.

But she will indeed continue to treat you like crap. She might not "mean to be mean" but the effect on you is the same. Are those occasional "nice" moments worth it?

strong feelings for her are misfounded my friend, if you enjoy stupidity then by all means get with your confused puppet you fell in love with. Mark my words, it'll only end in more stupidity.

bright and cheery... no...

The fact of the matter is things like this simply arent, now is a time for self discovery away from her, realize what you dont want to, this isnt going to work out with you and her, and if it does the lifespan will be finite and will only retain the capabilities for a bigger crash and burn, however perhaps this would be a good thing for you to wake up to, but chances are you simply wont.

Well before the first year mark it was ok, as for the E's i just dont agree with them in the first place, i draw the line at weed, i dont try and stop her i jsut tell her i dont agree with them.

Ive never been allowed to meet her friends, shes always made it a point to keep us apart, it never really bothered me cause their either uniteresting gilrs or faggots, but the fact that she'd just try to keep me away from them was a bit annoying, like she was ashamed of me sometimes.

She does go to college, time apart is ok, but now im lucky if i get to see her during the week, weekends are even harder cause shes usually clubbin.

I'll throw a few questions at you:

Man, why do you do this to yourself? Is it worth taking all of her shit? Are you afraid that you won't find another girl?

Before i met her my confidence wasnt great, i have bad eczema and it kinda weighs down on me a bit

You are being manipulated to the max. Just dump her ass and get on with life. You probably feel as if your being used also, else we wouldn't be responding to this.

Get out now before your mind and heart are subjected to some serious pain!

^I agree with VitalSigns. Don't be so insecure! Maybe if you stop doing it the way you are doing it, then you will find the girl who will give you everything this one is "giving" you, but without the abuse and manipulation! And don't count on her "changing", 'cause what she is doing is WORKING for HER!! Love, Venus.

If you wany my opinion on this, here it is:

It's fucking bullshit...She don't love you...She's just saying it to make you trust her and stuff while she's out screwing some other bloke!!!

That may sound harsh and hurtful but believe my I've been in the same situation with a girl!

She was always going out with her mates and getting drunk...Then when I asked about how it was or how much she enjoyed it, she'd get really weird, like defensive and had an edge in her voice and a weird look in her eye and say "I got fucking legless...There was this guy but we didn't do anything...I love you"

Every time!

After we broke up I found out from her cousin that she was always cheating on me!

Take it from me man, she's screwing you over.

Dump her!

[This message has been edited by psycho_8b (edited 10-09-2003).]

deadlycindy and redshift posted good points.

think about it...she was willing to dump you right there...and then she realized the mistake she was making, because who else would put up her shit but you? so she begged you to take her back.

she sounds like all talk and no walk. she can say she loves you every 2 minutes if it makes you believe her, but has she ever SHOWN her love for you? has she ever (forgive my sappiness) looked at you in a way that, without words, tells you that she loves you? makes you melt inside? has she done anything special, just for you, just to make you happy?

and i am sorry, but no matter how busy a schedule may be, if you love someone you MAKE time for them.

like deadlycindy asked, are those few good times really worth the effort of putting up with all the bad times?

you can always find love again, believe me, i know. and you never know, the next love may be deeper and more intense than the first.

You are getting played, used, whatever you want to call it. Do it right back in her face, cheat on the side, or move on. Don't give her your heart because, well, she wants to play with it.

Long time no see Nympho.

-Easy

quote:Originally posted by Easy Going:



Long time no see Nympho.

-Easy

^sup sexy...

^good advice.....cheat on her to see how she deals with it. or for that matter, go hang out with YOUR friends without her. "do unto others as you would have them do unto you".

she is asking for it.

cheating for revenge on this kind of person is no way to get the point across.... But do as you wish...

well thanx this has really helped, i know what to do now, its just goin to be really hard though

Im confused as to how such a strong feeling of trust was built up between us over two years, it felt really genuine, tellin each other deep stuff, i see her in a different light now and im confused about all that

^the abuse creates a need for something more, creating desire, and perpetuating your feelings; classic seduction...

-Easy

im startin to feel like an idiot

^don't. it happens to most guys at some point, especially young ones. just live and learn. if you are still falling for the same shit when you are 30, then you are an idiot.

-Easy