I've always been pretty damn sure of who I am as far as sexuality goes. I like girls and I like guys. No big deal, right? But no one wants to believe me. I keep getting told by people in real life and online that there is no such thing as bisexuals and that I'm either lying to get guys or trying to deny that I'm a lesbian. It's finally gotten to me and I'm not sure of who I am anymore. Are there bisexuals in the world, or do people just have to pick one?

All humans are inherently bisexual. We have a drive for intimate affection and closeness, which can be found with the same sex or the opposite sex. And we have that pesky drive to reproduce, which requires opposite-sex contact but doesn't require intimacy or affection.

[reprinted from another recent thread]

Dammit, why the hell aren't there any damn liberal bisexual chicks around where I live? grrr, no orgies for me, grrr.

Now that I've gotten that out of the way I'll try to help answer your question. I think that yes there are bisexuals. Really it seems to me that there aren't any super clearly defined lines on this stuff anyway. Like a straight person might feel some attraction for a person of the same sex, maybe even enough to actually act on it occasionally. In my opinion though you're really truly bi when you can see yourself as being in a long term serious relationship with a person of either sex. If you really have no intention of any type of serious relationship for the time being but rather just like things casual then I say why worry about it? If you think you're attracted to both and get turned on by both then just go for that and call yourself bi. Why the fuck care what some other people think?

Although I am confident that bisexuals exist (as both my girlfriend and I are,) I will attempt to explain the rational behind concluding that bisexuality doesn’t exist. This is how my girlfriend’s brother, a good/old friend of mine thought:

Basically, (it is likely that) eventually you will end up with one person. If the person is a girl, you are a lesbian, if he’s male, you’re straight. That is, your eventual conclusion shows that you are one or the other, and that whether you admit it (or are conscious of it) or not, you have shown preference.

I disagree that bisexuality is an inherent human trait because although (most) people are driven to be close to all people they find attractive, (in various forms,) they are only sexually attracted to certain types – personal preference. Saying that all people are able to be sexually attracted to anyone is incorrect.

My thought is that if you are able to fantasize about either sex easily, and not only when you’re really horny, then you are bisexual.

quote:Originally posted by GlitterPunk112358:

Are there bisexuals in the world, or do people just have to pick one?

yes, there are bisexuals.

quote:Originally posted by Sagewisher3:

Saying that all people are able to be sexually attracted to anyone is incorrect.



"Incorrect" is a strong word, and inaccurate in this case. Anyone can be potentailly attracted to anyone. It may not have happened to you yet, but it could.

Don't listen to the morons that tell you that there is no such thing as bisexuality. They are just a bunch of yuppy bastards that think that they know everything because they "read it on the internet".

Bisexual: Of, relating to, or having a sexual orientation to persons of either sex.

Sexual Orientation: The direction of one's sexual interest toward members of the same, opposite, or both sexes.

So basicly, BY DEFFINITION, if you have sexual interest twards both sexes, you are bisexual.

Life is a wide swath of gray, with little black and white mixed in. The notion that things are much more rigid and defined than that, however, is rapidly growing in popularity. Those telling you this shit are merely being drawn in by the popular mindset; so many people are saying it, they can't help but start to think it's right. They then proceed to key on your bisexuality because it's a very easy thing to knock.

In another place and time, you'd be the same person, but no one would give you a hard time about this. Therefore, you're fine, so do your thing.

I am certain that bisexuality exists.

People often say that it does not exist. I think this is because it is one of those things, like unusual political affiliations and fashions, that people pick up for a while (classically in the teenage years) then decide on something else.

If this is true, then there should be more 13-19 year old bisexuals than 43-49 year old bisexuals. This seems reasonable. But as long as the number of bisexuals is not zero, then it exists.

I think that, on the whole, things would be a lot better if all words to define sexual orientation (homosexual, heterosexual, bisexual, polyamorous (which I wouldn't call an orientation, but others do)) were erased. Then we could start over. You'd just think "Today I am attracted to a guy." or "Today I am attracted to a girl.".



[This message has been edited by 256 (edited 10-05-2003).]

Cindy got that one.

Everybody is bisexual, people are beautiful, and if doesn't matter whether you're male or female.

Don't let people get to ya, Glitter, I've been where you are and it's all about knowing yourself. Don't let other people decide who you are. If you like girls, you like girls. If you like guys, you like guys. If you like both, hey, power to you. Also, knowing you you wouldn't go around kissing people you don't have any attraction to just to get attention from a member of the opposite sex. You're above that.

Just noticed this:

quote:Basically, (it is likely that) eventually you will end up with one person. If the person is a girl, you are a lesbian, if he’s male, you’re straight. That is, your eventual conclusion shows that you are one or the other, and that whether you admit it (or are conscious of it) or not, you have shown preference.

It's not whether they're male or female that's important, it's the person you love. If you love somebody, it doesn't matter whether they have a penis or a puss, it's their mind and what they're actually like behind the skin. I could just as easily fall in love with a girl than a guy, or the other way around. When in a relationship, you're not displaying preference for one sex over the other, you're displaying a love for the mind of the person you're with.

quote:Originally posted by stephanina:

It's not whether they're male or female that's important, it's the person you love. If you love somebody, it doesn't matter whether they have a penis or a puss, it's their mind and what they're actually like behind the skin. I could just as easily fall in love with a girl than a guy, or the other way around. When in a relationship, you're not displaying preference for one sex over the other, you're displaying a love for the mind of the person you're with.[/B]

I dunno about that one. People are generally attracted to the opposite sex for natural or social reasons. Sometimes people are attracted to members of both sexes for natural or social reasons. Not everyone is so neutral about who they have a relationship with. It matters very much to me that my girlfriend has a pussy because I am only attracted to girls. If a guy had the same personality as she does I would even give it a thought. There is such a thing as sexual orientation. Can't we just leave it at heterosexual, homosexual, and bisexual?

Bisexuality isn't a way of denying homosexuality or being greedy.

Bisexuality is not being exclusive towards sexes.

If you find men and women attractive then that's who you are.

As for these people telling you that bisexuality isn't real, don't listen to them!