Anyway out of the friend zone?

I am tired of watching her go out with jackass after jackass.

Any suggestions?

ask her out

The only way out of the friend zone...is to get out of the friend zone.

That means just that: get out. Leave. Split. Say hasta la vista.

No need to be dramatic. Just tell her simply that you're not her friend, you want to be more than that. Hopefully you have good reasons why the two of you would be good together, other than you wish to touch her goodies. And don't tell her you're tired of seeing her with "jackasses." Don't try to win by default.

Otherwise you're living a bit of a lie in that you're always wishing the time spent with her was different. That's a lot of time in your life you'll never get back.

If the thought of "losing a friend" dominates your thoughts, consider adjusting your attitude. You posted this because you'd like to be out of the friend zone. Think over your priorities.

http://www.intellectualwhores.com/masterladder.html

You should find out everything you should need to know there.

^^The guy who came up with that "Ladder Theory" is a complete jackanapes.

I already posted my thoughts in detail here: http://www.totse.com/bbs/Forum4/HTML/004358.html

If teen movies are anything to act upon, I would say kiss her out of the blue one day and claim your love for her right there!

But I wouldn't place much faith in that!

Try asking her out and tell her what you really feel for her...At least you're getting it off your chest.

If she doesn't feel the same or isn't willing to give you a chance then move on and try to be friends.

Losing a girlfriend is bad...Losing a true friend is a tragedy.

Good luck mate!

I wasted 2 years trying to get with some chick that was my friend, I regret it now, but if you want too I would take things slow to see if she's interested. Touch her more and look her in the eyes more to show you're interested, but don't throw yourself at her.

Here, read the second to last post in here

http://www.totse.com/bbs/Forum4/HTML/004540.html

Tell her that you are sick of seeing her be hurt by these jackasses, and that you think you can do a better job. If nothing comes of it, you can write it off as a bad joke.

quote:Originally posted by Dawid14:

http://www.intellectualwhores.com/masterladder.html

You should find out everything you should need to know there.

If people actually thought like that and followed that thered be at least 100,000 less of them. by my hands....

quote:Originally posted by D-Loc 1605:

I wasted 2 years trying to get with some chick that was my friend, I regret it now, but if you want too I would take things slow to see if she's interested. Touch her more and look her in the eyes more to show you're interested, but don't throw yourself at her.

Here, read the second to last post in here

http://www.totse.com/bbs/Forum4/HTML/004540.html

I am sorry, but your advice and the one in the post you are referring to is just bad advice. The taking it slow shit is how you stay stuck in the friend zone. Unless you know how to seduce (real seduction, not the extra touching and eye contact bullshit) then you need to shock her out of the friend zone. You can set it up with a little of the touchy stuff if it makes you feel better, but then you either have to do what Cindy says, or just go for it. Put her on the spot and make her uncomfortable. Force her to reject you. You are in the friend zone because she is comfortable with you and you will stay there if she stays comfortable. Changing things slow just changes what she is comfortable about slowly. Shock does not always work, but it is your best shot. If it is not worth it, or you do not have the balls, do not take the risk.

-Easy

^

|

more or less.

Although I've repeatedly said that the "friend zone" being a bad thing is generally a bunch of crap, that skews a bit in a situation where you and her are really tight. If you guys are already close, you're nice to her, etc., then you have to turn her view of you on its side for her to snap out of that mindset and be willing to take the same risk you are- being more than friends with the potential of blowing what you already have.

That said, if your main concern is the fact she's always dating jackasses, you have to realize that throwing yourself out there as a willing boyfriend may do more harm than good. A girl may be reluctant to get involved with a close friend she has some attraction to, but she's not going to do anything with one that she feels nothing for. You need to try and gauge where she's at in that respect, because if you're not sure she's attracted to you at all, then either you have to give this up or find a way to win her heart.. another matter entirely.

quote:Tell her that you are sick of seeing her be hurt by these jackasses, and that you think you can do a better job.

I stick to what I said that this is the worst tactic ever. It smacks of both arrogance and desperation at the same time.

I'd be more defensive toward a guy that said this to me. You're basically calling her a "silly ninny" and suggesting she needs to "come to her senses" and date you.

As usual, Easy nailed it..

edit: the arrow below is referring to Spiffy's post. Cindy jumped in before I could post, but I'll let it slide this time..

^I agree with the "she has to have some attraction to you" part, but either she does or she does not. You can create it with seduction, but unless a girl is a novice or vulnerable in some way (rebound...) the touching/eye contact is not going to make her sexually attracted to you.

I do not normally post this because it is seen as controversial here, but here are some tips on a possibly successful slow approach. (leave your morals at the door or just move on)

1. hot and cold: you cannot always be mr nice guy. mix it up to mess with her head and make her think about you. you want to make her experience every emotion possible EXCEPT BOREDOM. boredom is death to a seduction. you need to take her on an emotional rollercoaster and not let her have any clue what is coming next. NICE ALL THE TIME IS BORING

2. leave her wanting more: do not let her end every convo on the phone or in person. do not always be available for whatever. say no sometimes just to say no.

3. mystery: do not explain everything and do not make sense on occasion. not all the time. on occasion.

4. be human: let her occasionally see an ugly side of you. maybe helpless. maybe rage. maybe despair. whatever. give her a chance to feel superior and nurturing. then later it was just a phase and you are over it.

5. absence makes the heart grow fonder: once she is getting hooked, take a bit of a break. it does not have to ever be explained or you can do so vaguely (mystery).

6. most important is confidence and attitude: do not wonder if she likes you or if whatever is working. just assume it, and assume she will respond how you wish. that is how you portray the right attitude.

7. once you have her head spinning, make a move as bold as possible.

-Easy



[This message has been edited by Easy Going (edited 10-04-2003).]

quote:Originally posted by deadlycindy:

You're basically calling her a "silly ninny".

lmao silly ninny...cute

I know what your going through man, Imma ask this chick out in a couple of weeks, but I'm worried she might just see me as a friend. I dun really hang out with her though, just like talk to her at school a lot, so here's to hoping that she sees me just enough to like me, and not enough to be friends...

/\/e\/\/R/\ge

Like a goddamn piano..

DON'T GO OUT WITH YOUR FRIEND OR UR BEST FRIEND. I did and it only lasted like a month, things just weren't working for us as bf and gf. After we broke up it took us a year or so before we became best friends again, it was a long and painfull road and i dont adivse it to anyone. Its hard when you really wanna go out with them but believe me, just DONT.

I hate the fucking friends zone.

The only people who are never in the friends zone are the ones they date. And they're usually assholes.

she'll figure it out on her own

quote:Originally posted by Easy Going:

[B]^I agree with the "she has to have some attraction to you" part, but either she does or she does not. You can create it with seduction, but unless a girl is a novice or vulnerable in some way (rebound...) the touching/eye contact is not going to make her sexually attracted to you.

I yapped about touching and eye contact and all that in another thread, not this one. I don't dabble in creating the attraction, because that's often more trouble than it's worth (especially given the poor success rate most HS guys will have with it). Doing those little things is to help you figure out how she feels, not to implant a lust for you within her.

quote:Originally posted by flak47:

ask her out

you do that and you will nevre be friends again if she says yes. and it will just be weird if she says no

Move on. Why is she so special?

quote:Originally posted by stumblemonkey:

she'll figure it out on her own

by that time, she owuld be raped.

I dunno what to tell you, ive been single for about 3 weeks, after 2 years of happiness. God it sucks... since i didnt like anyone other than her and my bandmembers...

Oh well, in a moth ill be moving to canada, and i can start out fresh. Hell yea!