Okay, well I am taking this as the affection for family so it goes here..

My grandparents called. I was happy. I have been a good girl, and could sport it off to them. Did good on my calculus test, went to shul for the holidays, have been paying the bills and staying out of most trouble. I was confident in my ability to please.

Then they asked the question. The question to end all question that is asked EVERY time we talk: What am I going to do? (insert the implied with your life, education, money, decide NOW!!)

I thought I was safe, and smart when I mentioned the restraunt idea. It was a direction. I would be avoiding the lecture that usualy comes with my big " I dunno yet". WRONG. My grandmother spent the next hour and a half beating up on what I thought was a pretty neat idea. Instead, she pushed being a lawyer. She said I liked to argue- and then used my protesting the statement as proof. (GRRR)

On top of that, mentioning I went to shul only brought up how they had to go alone, and how my father never goes anymore. Then also about how they wish the entire family could go together, and it was sad that I was so far away (they didn't want me to go to UT, just stay at the local college). BIG GUILT TRIP. But what do I expect? they are jewish grandparents.

Okay, now that you have listened to my rant, if you did, what the hell is wrong with them? WHY does it bother me so much? and also, please, sympathy stories would help here- I just wanna be able to laugh and go ah, mine aren't so bad after all... thanks.

I'll give ya some short and simple advice. Don't let anyone tell you what to do. Do what you want wether it makes you rich or poor, it only matters as long as your happy. Screw what everyone else thinks.

quote:Originally posted by akk:

I'll give ya some short and simple advice. Don't let anyone tell you what to do. Do what you want wether it makes you rich or poor, it only matters as long as your happy. Screw what everyone else thinks.

Indeed. And next time they lecture you tell them off.

EDIT: A typo

[This message has been edited by Cloaked Dagger (edited 09-29-2003).]

quote:Originally posted by Isabel:

...went to shul for the holidays,

Oy vey! She's Jewish! Shanah tovah & happy new year

Yep, I know how Jewish parents & grandparents can be.. I guess all you can do about it is listen to what they have to say, take it in to consideration (somewhat), but the most important thing is that you have to be happy. You know that no one can tell you what to do with the rest of your life except for you, and you've got a whole ton of choices to pick from. Millions. I'm not the one to be giving you life advice though, because I'm probably quite a bit younger than you... but you get the general idea. Oh well; listen to the rest of people here, I suck.

Isa, what I'm saying now, I'm not saying to flame, or because I dislike you, but in the name of candor:

Your posts have really gone to hell lately.

You used to post good, entertaining, insightful things, but now, you just post sympathy-seeking diatribes.

Things may not be/may not have been going well for you, but honestly, grow up. Stop seeking sympathy from totizens and live your life independently. You're a big girl, you can handle it. It's a challenge, but you can handle it.

-Infrared

[This message has been edited by Infrared (edited 09-28-2003).]

[This message has been edited by Infrared (edited 09-28-2003).]

I got scared at first from the title, this being in the sex and affection forum and all. Whoops.

quote:Originally posted by Infrared:

Isa, what I'm saying now, I'm not saying to flame, or because I dislike you, but in the name of candor:

Your posts have really gone to hell lately.

You used to post good, entertaining, insightful things, but now, you just post sympathy-seeking diatribes.

Things may not be/may not have been going well for you, but honestly, grow up. Stop seeking sympathy from totizens and live your life independently. You're a big girl, you can handle it. It's a challenge, but you can handle it.

-Infrared

[This message has been edited by Infrared (edited 09-28-2003).]

[This message has been edited by Infrared (edited 09-28-2003).]

Agreed. Wheres that attention whore pic? =p

jesus, somebody move this to B+M.

I'm not usually one to bitch about moving shit around to the right forums, but this is ridiculous. i read the title, and get prepared for something real nice and juicy, but instead, get some bullshit whining about how someones grandparents want them to be a lawyer.

Thank you for royally fucking up my day.

quote:Originally posted by jojabr:

Yep, I know how Jewish parents & grandparents can be.. I guess all you can do about it is listen to what they have to say, take it in to consideration (somewhat), but the most important thing is that you have to be happy. You know that no one can tell you what to do with the rest of your life except for you, and you've got a whole ton of choices to pick from. Millions. I'm not the one to be giving you life advice though, because I'm probably quite a bit younger than you... but you get the general idea. Oh well; listen to the rest of people here, I suck.

You don't suck. You made the smartest comment on this thread.

Isabel--So what if you don't like what they have to say. Smile, nod and respond with "That's good advice. I'm going to think about it." Then do whatever the hell you want.

Don't want the grief to continue? Then live up to your word not to be the loser they think you'll be. Nothing shuts people up faster than you saying "I've done..." and "I've accomplished..." Nothing makes people criticize you more than saying "Someday I plan to..."

You can choose to have just disagreement, or disagreement + strife + misery. Barking back at elders isn't going to get them to rally on your side. Ever.

doesnt this belong somewhere else?

i thought i was gonna read about hardcore granny cameltoe sex.

look at dem saggy titties!

Just got back from a 9-1.30 shul trip... tired.

But anyway, tell them that you wanna be a doctor, then they'll shut up and leave you alone. That's what I'm telling everyone

quote:Originally posted by deadlycindy:

Isabel--So what if you don't like what they have to say. Smile, nod and respond with "That's good advice. I'm going to think about it." Then do whatever the hell you want.

This is good advice.

One of my favorite sayings for dealing with people like this is "I understand." If you are getting advice/commands from people that think they can tell you what to do, like parents, bosses, etc, this phrase validates them enough while giving you flexibility. Follow that with a quick but respectful and interested change in subject to something about them or something they will want to discuss. Nothing says "none of your business" more eloquently than a topic change.

-Easy

My grandmother plays favorites, me and my brother and a few of my other cousins are pretty much just treated like relatives, while she RAVES about my soccer/ hockey star cousin (he plays for his state in Australia), my aviator cousin, my guitar playing chick artistic cousin, whatever. No acknowledgment of my great test scores, my soccer team's championship victory, my good table manners (heh), or my photography. She also managed to tactlessly imply that my other cousin was fat. She's built, far from fat, and she's slimmed down quite a bit. Grandmothers just do that. She also thinks she's always right. My other grandma forgets my birthday, has given my christmas presents years late (literally), and is basically a nutcase.

My grandfathers are both dead. At least you have one.

quote:Originally posted by Isabel:

they are jewish grandparents.



I think that that's all that needed to be said.