"A woman in love is operating on the lowest level of intelligence." --some psychiatrist in the Hitchcock film Spellbound.

This is hideously true with me, as I'm finally learning. "Love" is a strong term for now, but I notice if I start liking a guy, I turn into a moron. I can feel the IQ points drop.

Gone are the witty comments, insightful observations and formidable arguments. Instead, I find myself asking dumb question after dumb question and agreeing with whatever they say. Shudder. Ugh.

Do guys notice this? Ever been with a girl who seemed really cool and just as you're really getting into her she seems to have turned dumb and distant? That would be me right now.

I find myself with more of an urge to make sammitches and pie as opposed to working on any of my many self-fulfulling projects. I'm doomed, 'cause the guys I'm attracted to are attracted to my independent spirit.

So what should I do? Cut off all contact with guys since I apparently can't handle it without becoming stupid?

Learn to be cool.

Sounds like you care too much about what they think of you. Happens to me with loadsa people. Shit loadsa people think I'm dumb, but crap always comes outta my mouth when I'm nervous.

^^I'm not sure this is true. At first, I'm fine. Quite cool, actually. That's what "reels them in."

But then, as things go along swimmingly, I start to say stupid things. There I am, conversing along, and I'll realize that an opening he left for me to make a joke went unnoticed about 3 sentences ago. The more I try to be my cool self the more I fail. And if I don't try at all, stupidity flies out of my mouth like spring snakes from a can.

thats it! i knew there was a key! i knew there was a reason to it all! i always say girls are stupid, im sure you guys have noticed this by now.

this explains it! see, girls get stupid when they fall in love. all girls are stupid around me. therefore, all girls muct love me.

i <3 misused logic.

quote:I'm doomed, 'cause the guys I'm attracted to are attracted to my independent spirit.

Why are you doomed? Most guys I know would rather have a strong, independent woman who wants a man because she wants him, not needs him. Too much dependency can be a turn off.

Anyway I used to get tongue-tied all the time whenever I was around a girl I found to be even remotely attractive, let alone someone I was really fond of. I would sit there and not say a word, because if I did I'd sound like an idiot. At least, I'd sound like an idiot to my own ears. It's true, your worse critic is yourself.

That's pretty much the reason why I had only 2 gf's in high school, and combined those relationships lasted only 4-5 months. Whenver I looked back I could clearly see all those opportunities that I missed out on and could kick myself.



[This message has been edited by LutherX (edited 09-23-2003).]

heeeeheeee OMG you just described me

I'm so glad I'm not the only one...

I'll be going through life a single, independant, stubborn, self-sufficient, and intelligent woman, and then some stud enters my life and I turn into a dopey little housewife... oh and GOD, my ability to think before I speak, completely gone... as if it never existed.

After about 5-6 months the stupidity wears off and I return to my normal ornery self, but I still bake cookies.

I think it's our wiring, or instinct maybe? Generations of women being told to "do the laundry, bitch!" and "I'm the man of the house, do as I say!" etc?

Hell I dunno... I think all men quite appreciate a woman who has a brain, but isn't afriad to lovingly make a decent sammich for them.

[This message has been edited by Sarcophagus (edited 09-24-2003).]

quote:Originally posted by Sarcophagus:



I think it's our wiring, or instinct maybe? Generations of women being told to "do the laundry, bitch!" and "I'm the man of the house, do as I say!" etc?



Yes! See, now I find those words oddly stimulating. Maybe not so much the exact words as the domineering alpha spirit behind them.

No my ex g/f of 9 months was borring from day one, see was a lot borring, emotionless, and had no idea what sex was or how to do it. Oh and see never understood a word I said that was above a 3rd grade reading level.

quote:Originally posted by YamahaCal:

No my ex g/f of 9 months was borring from day one, see was a lot borring, emotionless, and had no idea what sex was or how to do it. Oh and see never understood a word I said that was above a 3rd grade reading level.

that's what you get for dating 3rd graders you dirty dirty!

Hmmm.

The instincts will always be there.. but this is one of those things you learn. We continually hear about guys turning all dopey around girls they like, but the difference is that guys get smacked around and told to pull themselves together, that they'll never get a girl that way.

On the other hand, girls who do that are either considered a better score or, to the guys who are attracted to an independant spirit, "just another one like the rest". The latter case would explain why many guys experience, at some point in their lives, the pain of meeting a girl who they know is (or at least can be) super cool, but all they see most of the time is someone who's not that much different from the idiots.

From my observations and personal experience, it's really not that hard to change if you want to. Just understand that the automatic reaction will always be there, recognize it when you see it, and consciously pull the real you forward. Of course, there will be times when you want to just sit back and be the dopey goofy one, but the more you practice, the more you'll be able to let the best side of you for the situation come forth.

That 'be yourself' thing isn't always true. I used to act all dopey and shit in front of girls until I realized that didn't work. So I tried being myself but the thing is appearently girls don't like the real me either. Go figure, eh?

And I know it's worn advice but 'if a guy is worth it he doesn't care if you act like an idiot around him nor should he make you feel uncomfortable with it'.

Or maybe I missed a point somewheres.

quote:Originally posted by TIN the Kamio:

And I know it's worn advice but 'if a guy is worth it he doesn't care if you act like an idiot around him nor should he make you feel uncomfortable with it'.

As true as this is, it doesn't necessarily help a girl who feels like an idiot of her own accord.

quote:Do guys notice this? Ever been with a girl who seemed really cool and just as you're really getting into her she seems to have turned dumb and distant? That would be me right now.

All the time, love!

I like women to be smart and intelligent but when they start liking me a lot, they become dopey!

It's annoying on one level...But satisfying on another because you know they like/love you!

That was the old days though...Nowadays I am a slut bag who will shag anything with a pussy and a pulse (pulse is optional! ).