It was a good plan...go clubbing, have fun, accept no offers, leave Ryan alone. Its much harder in practice.

I am a COMPLETE IDIOT, and I throw myself on the mercy/bed of nails that is totse posters.

I got dolled up. Even bought a new shirt and matching necklace. EVEN put my hair up in perfect curls instead of letting them go willy nilly all over.

All was going well. In the club, having a good time, mostly dancing with my friends Jinny and Anne in a half drunken wild state which made some of the guys circle around us watching and dancing, and keeping the weirder strangers from getting too close. Like normal. They were pretty cool about not leaving me alone. Dont know why I was worried about that.

But then, THEN, to my great delight Ryan, who didn't bring anyone (thank god, and why not?) came over and started dancing with me. Nothing too big, just put one hand on my waist- high on my waist. I was happy, I was extatic. I was soo FUCKING DRUNK that at the end of the song I jumped up on him and KISSED him.

Needless to say, this did not go over well. Put a strain on the rest of the night, so we all kinda went our own seperate ways around 2 am. I hit the arcade with Jinny for a few hours. Even she gave me the what the hell were you thinking speech.

I am never again leaving this apartment. I will sit here in front of the computer, go to class, go to work, and come back. NO MORE.

All right, this is a sad story, and you have my absolute sympathy, but who is Ryan, and why is he so important? Is he your former b/f, or what?

You're so overreacting sometimes. So you got a little drunk and kissed Ryan. Oh well, shit happens; he probably knew you were a little wasted. I'm sure he could smell the DiSaronno on your breath (or taste it on your lips..hmm, that sounds sexy. I'll have to use that sometime, but I digress). Sure, it was a little tense, but it won't be that big a deal unless you make it one. Just let it pass

-Infrared

ooooo... the "drunken kiss at a club with an ex you don't wanna get back with" situation. i did that before. i know you're feelings/emotions are all up in knots right now but don't worry, it'll pass. do what you need to do to get over it and next time you're out with the guy (if ever), make sure no drinking is involved. 420...

nooo... far worse. Its the drunken kiss with the ex who I DO want to get back with.

And it was a big deal, Infrared. He kissed back!! Just for a little bit. Then he pushed me away and there was one of those very awkward moments where everything stops. I wanted to run out of the place and throw up, the way he looked at me. But there was too much of a crowd, couldn't go anywhere. I was just stuck.

Bah. That's nothing.

Get this:

Now, like it always is with us pathetic dudes, there's a girl that I dig. I suppose I'm attracted to her because she's probably the only girl I know who doesn't portray herself as a total skank. Since I actually am interested in her, I automatically lose all ability to talk while she's around.

Bah.

Like everything, I was dead wrong. Last night, I cruised over to my buddy's house for a birthday party for his friend. Alcohol was plentiful, of course. But, since I was driving, I couldn't drink. This alone was enough to piss me off.

So, after about 30 minutes, me and two other guys went over to a friend's apartment, who I haven't seen in about a year(this is purely inconsequential, save for the sick zong waterpipe he had, that everyone but me took a hit off of[since I'm off that evil ganja].)

Anyway, we had back there, and when we get back, there are a load of girls there. RIght off the bat, I knew the score. You see, the whole reason for these parties is for my buddies to get girls drunk and have their way with them. Having a conscience, I can't do it, despite my incredibly destitute demanor and loneliness, which dengenerates into blind, seething rage, because I'll most likely never, ever, get a girl again.

Anyway, this girl that I dig is there. I'm thinking to myself, "fuck no. There's no way she'd fall for their bullshit."

But, she did. She was drinking up, and some random emo fuck was already cheatting her up. Being the pathetic son of a bitch I am, I just said "fuck it," and gave up.

Of course, this resulted in being thoroughly pissed off. So, I went to the freezer, and got out the tequila. Now, everybody around here can't handle straight liquor, so I'm quite the party trick. I just rip off the stupid little pouring aid, and start chugging. I think they timed me at 14 seconds.

I think my plan was to get drunk enough so that I could talk to her, but that never happened. I just sat there on the floor, drinking the tequila, not saying a single fucking word for about 3 hours.

Anyway, she and the other girls eventually left(I think it's safe to bet that they probably weren't as impressed with my drinking powers as the emo fucks), and I went driving. We ended up in a park, playing rugby without a ball. Now, here I sit, kicking myself in the ass for being such a pussy.

At least the emo bastard didn't rape her, though.

Kikey, you deserve better. Why, you remind me of...me. I think if you would move to a better area, maybe somewhere where the girls are on a higher intellectual level and can appreciate you better.

Isabel, I know you must be embarrassed, but I think there are some good signs in this. He did come to dance, and he did kiss back. He does still have conflict which is a good sign, trust me.

What should you do? Send him an apology card for publicly embarrassing him. Don't be too long winded. Just say that you were drunk, he knows how you feel (don't be specific), and you lost your head. Validate his feelings and reserve no responsibility for him. Also, do not make any advances. Just apologize. Here is a secret: Girls never do this. It will mean something to him if you do it right.

-Easy

I think it'll be quite a while until I can work my way up past the warehouse.

I dunno, I've hung out with rich white people before. They're no different.

In fact, they're worse, in many respects.

quote:Originally posted by Kikey_Kikeowitz:

Bah. That's nothing.

Get this:

Now, like it always is with us pathetic dudes, there's a girl that I dig. I suppose I'm attracted to her because she's probably the only girl I know who doesn't portray herself as a total skank. Since I actually am interested in her, I automatically lose all ability to talk while she's around.

Bah.



Haha, same shit happens with me man..

quote:Originally posted by Black Flag:

Kikey, you deserve better. Why, you remind me of...me. I think if you would move to a better area, maybe somewhere where the girls are on a higher intellectual level and can appreciate you better.

I can sympathize with both of you. To be completely serious and honest, Black Flag, I didn't even know such a place existed anymore, and I highly doubt one does. No such thing as a "great find" of a woman anymore, at least in my personal opinion. *Long, almost nostalgic sigh*

go cry me a fucking river...i mean omg you kissed youre ex, so what he kissed you back and then he pushes you away OBVIOUSLY he still likes you and has a girlfriend or he thinks its best you stay broken up. <<I am never again leaving this apartment. I will sit here in front of the computer, go to class, go to work, and come back. NO MORE.>>

again CRY MY A FUCKING RIVER. quite youre whining! we dont, or at least i dont give a FUCK if you kissed youre ex and now you dont wanna go out in public, that shows youre a whiney spoiled probably a prep in highschool richy BITCH. HE OBVIOUSLY STILL LIKES YOU AND WHY THE FUCK LOCK YOURESELF IN YOURE HOUSE!

^ THIS is why I quit ganja.

too funny ^^^ (two posts above me)

i think he still wants you... i've been in a similar situation.. but then i was on his side of the problem... it might not be easy for you... but it isn't for him either, you just made him insecure by hangin out with ya ex and now he probably thinks that you'll be happier without him... not knowin he couldn't be more wrong... (okay i don't know where i'm goin, so, i better stop writin, and ofcourse i can't be sure.. but you'll two will be fine, just give it time.. and show he's still the one you want)

Thanks Kikey, now I know what I'm gonna be like when I'm older...



Isabel: If you want to get back toghether with him, do it? I mean am I missing something?

quote:Originally posted by Isabel:

nooo... far worse. Its the drunken kiss with the ex who I DO want to get back with.

And it was a big deal, Infrared. He kissed back!! Just for a little bit. Then he pushed me away and there was one of those very awkward moments where everything stops. I wanted to run out of the place and throw up, the way he looked at me. But there was too much of a crowd, couldn't go anywhere. I was just stuck.

Like I said: It's no big deal. I can see why you feel that way, but it's still not a big deal unless you make it one. Like another poster said, send a meaningful, but non-loquacious apology, and he'll appreciate it. And no advances either, like the same poster mentioned, but I'm sure you would have figured that out.

Again, it's not a big deal unless you make it one; it can be easily appended (And there's not really that much to append, either.

time heals all .. remember that

give ryan time to allow it to sink in .. later maybe meet up with him or phone him apologise to him wait a little bit and ask him if he would like to possibly go ut for dinner or somthing .. don't try and pull anything and thank him for the good time .. try starting form scratch

-warweed12

Not that you asked my opinion, but it's time for some tough love, and I'm in the spirits to dish it out.

quote:Originally posted by Isabel:

It was a good plan...go clubbing, have fun, accept no offers, leave Ryan alone. Its much harder in practice.

It was a dumbass, sucky plan. I mean that in the nicest possible way. How could you possibly expect to have fun when you go out with all your baggage? You put yourself in a precarious position where some type of social failure was inevitable.

quote:

I am a COMPLETE IDIOT

Ok, you admit you have a problem.

quote:I got dolled up. Even bought a new shirt and matching necklace. EVEN put my hair up in perfect curls instead of letting them go willy nilly all over.

Again. Fueling high expectations. How silly can you be? You should have gone out "as is."

quote: They were pretty cool about not leaving me alone. Dont know why I was worried about that.

Again, making your personal happiness dependent upon expectations, hopes, worries.

quote:But then, THEN, to my great delight Ryan, who didn't bring anyone (thank god, and why not?) came over and started dancing with me.

What was so delightful about this? You should have been afraid. Very afraid. This is tantamount to leaving a fresh wound open and vulnerable.

quote: I was soo FUCKING DRUNK that at the end of the song I jumped up on him and KISSED him.

Ayuh. *shakes head* Frying pan-->fire.

quote:Needless to say, this did not go over well. Put a strain on the rest of the night, so we all kinda went our own seperate ways around 2 am. I hit the arcade with Jinny for a few hours. Even she gave me the what the hell were you thinking speech.

Endpoint. Match. Whatever. You can't be surprised or perplexed by this outcome. It was inevitable.

quote:I am never again leaving this apartment. I will sit here in front of the computer, go to class, go to work, and come back. NO MORE.

Hrumph! You'll show them. Wait, who's "them?" No one. So what're you trying to prove? Bah.

The point is not to declare "No More!" The more one makes declarative statements, the more likely s/he is to look foolish in retrospect, and you're aces on that lately. Though it's true, at the moment, you need a boyfriend like you need another hole in your head.

What happened to the catering? You should be focusing a majority of your attention and energy on that. That business is all yours, and not dependent on the success/demise of a relationship to fulfill you.

You're chasing too many rabbits, and getting yourself worked up in a dither while they all escape.

quote:Originally posted by Rabid Beaver:

Thanks Kikey, now I know what I'm gonna be like when I'm older...



You're probably older than I am, I'm only 17.

>spit take< HOW old??

Holy shit, Kikey. Well, you're probably the brightest 17 year old I've ever met. I tip my hat to you, sir

-Infrared

Isabel, quit yer bitchin'.

Honestly, as silly as you were and as huge as this seems right now, you were drunk. It's happened to all of us. You'll look back on this in a little while and wonder why you thought it was such a big deal. It'll seem completely inconsequential.

I am now thoroughly confused.

This time, I was not drunk. He was not drunk. There was no drinking.

I went to go apologize this afternoon. He laughed at me. I went all the way over there- mind you its just under 2 hours by bus- to say I was sorry. He just looked at me, and started laughing. Then he put me in a headlock, dragged me in, and threw me to the dog. (not as horrible as it seems- its a weener dog. I mostly got slobberd on.)

We basically watched anime and threw curly puffs at each other and Jimmy (the dog). I skipped/called in sick for work. We joked around and threw minor insults like normal.

Just one tense moment when he noticed I was wearing his socks (laundry day soon- and I believe I have posted before on me being black hole for guy clothes). He held me down and peeled them off- and it was kinda weird right after. It was cool tho. He broke it up by throwing them back at me and telling me they smelled girly now. Told me to keep them.

In the end, I stole another pair of socks. Ye old war is on again. I will get all of his socks before he steals all of my bras. (Its a long story- and prolly twisted too) We're back to the old games, things feel okay. I can tell he is still being more careful about where he puts his hands than he used to (no more random ass pinching), but I dont feel weird about seeing him anymore.

In fact, were going kayaking on the river after Thursday. He offered. Said he wanted to be the one to sink my final battleship- Thursday is test day for both chemistry and calculus. I will be needing a pick me up after that disaster. We are going to have a tump war. I am going to flip his ass over so much he will be shaking water out of his ears till the end of the weekend. (Do not worry about Jimmy, he has a life vest)

So what am I confused about? I am a happy confused, but I dont get what happened. He looked so upset before, and now, its just all fun and games. Like nothing ever happened. Or at least like it didn't hurt.

He did offer me a shot of vodka, then took it right back away telling me he forgot I couldn't handle my liquor- "hell knows whats goes through that head when your down. Might try living out those stripper fantasies." *offers shot again* Pissed me off slightly, but I was glad he was in a good mood.

[This message has been edited by Isabel (edited 09-22-2003).]

Sounds like things are looking good! Just play along and let him lead. I think good things could happen.

-Easy

YOURE BEING TO OPEN! he sees youre weaknesses and hes gonna play ya i tell yeh. You should have let him sink it in for a week at most make him think youre not too easy...

If you're confused now, it's from over-thinking. It sounds like you both feel comfortable with each other again, so roll with it. You're naturally going to be careful about doing stuff that pushes the limits of mere friendship, so don't worry. You'll be fine.

well, i ain't much of a "clubber" (ain't old enough, but that ain't the point. i don't like clubs; too many random people to attack me). now, i'll just consider this like a school dance. yes, at my school, at least HALF of the people were so shit-faced you couldn't tell the difference between them and an Etheopian.

ANYWHO! you meet up with an ex. ok, big deal. you were buzzed... guess it's a big deal now. i ain't a heartless bastard, so let's get that out there. so, you dance with yer ex and nearly start "hoochie-goochie" with him, but stop short realizing who he was. i read you want him back. question is, does HE want YOU back? seriously, i have my fair share of ex's, each from the same year, and i don't have much respect for any of'em. they's all a bunch of sluts. now your ex, Ryan (which is my name, too, which kinda freaked me out...), might have seen you buzzed and dancing, so he could've figured "hey, easy screw", or something along those lines. best thing i can say for you is get yer friends to set you up on some blind dates. it ain't guaranteed to work, but it's better than sitting on yer ass

Shalakai

If at first you don't succeed, kill all witnesses

It sounds to me like Ryan's thrown himself into a deep denial. It's like he's trying to act all normal again, in hopes that things will end up the way the were, but to paraphrase that guy who writes The Meathead Perspective, "Shit all fucking up".

Things ain't the same, and it's hard to tell if they ever will be again. Whether he's in denial or not isn't so much the point, but I think you can understand that maybe things won't be the same again, even if you do get back together

Then again, it could be some huge building block in what will one day be a beautiful romance/companionship/marriage, whatever.

The door on this one swings two ways

-Infrared

Ryan this...Ryan that...Jeez...Go out and get fuckin' laid for the love of God!!!

Hell fire girl... If yall're exchanging clothes, that means you're back on his good side. Its not the fact that you watched anime and ate cheeze doodels or whatever, you HAD ON HIS SOCKS!

Any girl that has on my clothes, i am immediately attracted to... I don't understand why, but it must have something to do with my nose picking up the mix of my old scent with her new pheromones running around in it that drives me up a wall. It makes guys feel comfortable when theres that recognizable piece in the artwork.

Hell, he probably knew you had on his socks as soon as you walked in the door. The human nose is a lot more sensitive than we all think it is.

Kikey: Yeah bro, I've been in plenty of situations where i think its better to get shitty faced and talk. believe me tho. IT DON'T WORK. If you have access to it, try some sort of stimulant before talking to her. Meth, X, coke, hell even stackers would help. So long as you get the endorphins and seritonin running through you first. It gives you a great state of mind and makes you VERY OPEN. VERY VERY OPEN to conversation. Its the same reason Raves work so well, not necessarily X but any stimulant makes you more talkitive.

Another good approach is to stay sober and sort of baby sit the party. I've done that many times as well. Just help out whoevers puking, tuck in whoevers passed out, and generally make people think you're a great guy. It doesn't matter what kinds of clothes you are wearing, drunk/stoned/geeked/whatever people just don't care. peace -Salt

quote:Originally posted by Kikey_Kikeowitz:

You're probably older than I am, I'm only 17.



no, dude, I'm 16, haha.



I always thought you were in your 20's.

quote:Originally posted by Black Flag:

Kikey, you deserve better. Why, you remind me of...me.

That makes two of us. Cheer up, slugger - you gotta learn to base your life on something besides women. Having girlfriend is entirely peripheral to enjoying yourself! When I was last with a girl, I dreamed of those halcyon days when there wasn't somebody getting pissed at every verbal misstep I make. Cheer up, something will come along.

And if it doesn't, it just means more time for your political career. And I'm just saying, man, I'd make a great Secretary of State. We could stay up all night, doing double shots of Wild Turkey, terrorizing the interns, and prank calling the French consulate.

quote:Originally posted by Black Flag:

Kikey, you deserve better. Why, you remind me of...me. I think if you would move to a better area, maybe somewhere where the girls are on a higher intellectual level and can appreciate you better.

i think that alot of girls arn't like that because they want to look "cool"..they end up all looking like skanks while guys talk about how they knocked her up last night..they would just want ass..not a g/f...



BTW i'm not one of those skank girls i am 17..i've been with my boyfriend since 8th grade...so trust me nice guys don't always finish last... good luck!!!

quote:Originally posted by Kikey_Kikeowitz:

^ THIS is why I quit ganja.

i didn't quit, i still smoke MJ, and i'm not like that...i think he/she just needs an attitude reajustment