I'm aware that quite a few people post topics about themselves (theirselves?) that no one really cares about, but I'm posting this to ask for advice. Here goes:

I'm a very picky person when it comes to what kind of woman I'd like to be with, so it was a great happiness when I met this one girl (Sarah) about 3 years ago, service trip so it was long distance, and things seemed to go well. We were friends for a while (about a year), then she admitted that she had feelings for me, to which I responded with once-withheld feelings for her. Keep in mind that we had made plans to see each other every so often, but that's all they were, just plans, no actions.

I still don't really know what happened, but it seems she didn't care anywhere about me as much as I cared about her. She had said that I had gotten too close and that she didn't want me that close to her, but I doubt that's it.

Time passed, she found someone else who's her so-called Mr. Wonderful (at least that's how she sees it, I personally think the guy's a childish asshole), and I found someone else too (without anything near the feelings I had for Sarah). Problem is, I still have feelings for her and she cares nothing about me or what could have been between us. She doesn't even seem to care about me anymore.

To sum it up, my question is what can I do to get over my feelings for her (excluding comments about just getting wasted and screwing the first woman who's interested in me), or am I doomed to a one sided love?

Things like "there're more fish in the sea" don't seem to work very well on me, I'm more of a person to say, "Screw it, I'm going alone" and give up on love and relationships for an unknown amount of time.

[This message has been edited by Yournamehere (edited 09-20-2003).]

Just fill your life with other things and keep the thoughts about sara down to a minimum. I left a girl I really loved so I could get things in my life straightened out, and now in another relationship but I miss and really love the other, but im stuck with the one I am with at the moment, so Ive just had to keep occupied. so thats my advice to you, keep yourself occupied and dont think about her so much. or if you want, go the brash route and confront her with your true feelings at the moment and tell her your thoughts, and possibly go to see her face to face. Being away from someone is hard, and could put doubts and mess up true thoughts and feelings, so see the person face to face, and go from there.

Well...This is what happens when I have feelings for a girl who doesn't feel the same for me:

I go home.

I put some heavy metal on.

I become bitter.

I punch a wall.

I swear at my knuckles for getting bigger.

I smoke a ciggy.

I have a cup of tea.

I think "Fuck it...she sucked anyways!"



Works every time!!!

quote:Originally posted by psycho_8b:

Well...This is what happens when I have feelings for a girl who doesn't feel the same for me:

I go home.

I put some heavy metal on.

I become bitter.

I punch a wall.

I swear at my knuckles for getting bigger.

I smoke a ciggy.

I have a cup of tea.

I think "Fuck it...she sucked anyways!"



I can top that.

I just chug a bottle of tequila in front of her as she's chatting up all those other fucking spics at a party we're at.

And then, I REALLY get pissed off.

Fuck, I'm still angry. I lost my chance.

sorry bro, welcome to my world

I'm getting over the first, and realized a few things.

1. things happen for a reason. it's hard, but keep the faith that things will work out.

2. learn from your mistakes. defeat is more constructive than victory. If you take a lesson and wisdom away from the loss, you haven't lost anything at all.

3. I didn't beleive it at all, and didn't think it was the answer, but the new girl is starting to grow on me.

good luck, if i think of anything else, i'll post

Thanks to all, these are helpful, even if I don't know if I'll follow any of it yet.

An eerie update on this, however. The very next day, today, I am awoken because she calls me, keep in mind, I haven't spoken or hardly even heard a word from her for over 3-some months!

I'm still paranoid about it and have started to think she's checking these forums still (showed her a post of mine on here once, she posted a reply, that was it, nothing more).

Here's the kicker, she said that she loved me to which I sarcastically retorted her old reply of "just as a friend." She feeds me bullshit (at least that's what I think it was at the time, still do, but not as much) that not just as a friend, as "more than a friend."

Okay......yeah, right. She's just updated her profile site with the start of a poem, happily about her current boyfriend (the previously mentioned "Mr. Wonderful")! Personally, I think she's just bullshitting me and trying to use me to solve shit for her she can't solve on her own, said she was being "harassed" by people she seemingly was once friends with.

I don't think I'll go back to the "same shit, different day" thing of how things used to be between her and myself, but I also don't want to be asking myself "what if" anytime in the near or far future. Any advice as to my course of actions? Because I'm pretty much out of ideas here.

Dude give up on it. It won't make you feel any better moping around about it and wishing it would have worked out. Is your name out of curiousity Tyler? I know a Tyler that was/is in a situation like this and the chicks name was sarah and he found a new girlfriend but his bestfriend mike went out with the sarah chick they aren't friends anymore but just wondering.

quote:Originally posted by Pythagorus1:

Dude give up on it. It won't make you feel any better moping around about it and wishing it would have worked out. Is your name out of curiousity Tyler? I know a Tyler that was/is in a situation like this and the chicks name was sarah and he found a new girlfriend but his bestfriend mike went out with the sarah chick they aren't friends anymore but just wondering.

First off, I about had given up on it, then she called and just totally pissed with my having given up.

Second, no shit moping won't help, but you don't really know me or what I'm like, and you don't seem to understand quite as well.

Third, my name isn't Tyler.

Hey, as they say Life is what you make it, I really like a girl that used to like me, she no longer shares those feelings, I still hang on and hope. But if I sit and let it get to me it will, besides she can't be that prefect, the one I like is seeing someone that I supposedly don't even know about, and shes still leading me on, tomorrow I'm going down, and gonna make a move, she if she'll stay no stop.....or let me continue, at least then I would know if it was worth going out with her or not. (I know that sounds rather mean, but I feel shes screwed with me for the past 2 years, and I really like her, but I can't sit by while she repeatly lies)