So...there was a general consensus of no more Ryan. I went into hiding for about four days..saw no living beings, and then came up for air and back to a semi normal, albeit far lonlier lifestyle.

I still talk to him for a while, kinda. In that sounds were made that are supposed to have meaning. Kinda a dead feeling tho in my stomach. I still have his stuff (except for what he took the last time he came over), and he still has mine. I still have a key to his place.

We are actually talking more now, and we are going in a big group clubbing tomorrow. Same circle of friends and all, I think everyone is really tense about it. Nine people, and three of them have asked me if I was okay with him coming.

I am sure he is getting the same treatment. There is one traitor/go between among them who has revealed he has asked about me several times. I have no illusions that they kept quiet about my very long and pathetic period of moping.

So my main question is to calm my nerves and to either confirm or deny my suspicions on proper behavior for tomorrow evening. No matter how many times I have said that I am fine and it doesn't matter that he is there, that we are still friends and nothing has changed, its still a load of crap. Lots has changed, and I have no idea what to expect.

I know I am going to have to accept him dancing with other girls. No jealous keep off glares is a given. And I kinda have the feeling that while I am gonna have to dance with other people, getting creative on the floor with a new guy is a bad idea. Should I just stick to my girl friends all together and not deal with the guy issue at all?

Also, as a side and a very dangerous one at that- if you noticed our numbers are odd. Thats cause there has been the removal of the ex from the group- and as Ryan is now offlimits, I have no dance partner. We dont generally go as couples, but we always end up pairing off. Usually we meet extra friends out and the group grows, but I have had two offers to go with:

One, which I am fairly certain would be suiside on many levels, is from my best friends now ex bf. They had a very, and I do stress this, VERY bad break up. But we have been hanging out more since Ryan and I split. Just movies, warm body count next to us so we dont feel like idiots, and homework help. He is teaching me the wonderful game of pool. While hanging out is somewhat stressful on my best friend, it is permissable. But not in front of her I am sure.

Second came from a guy outside the group. (which seems like a better and better idea as my friends all hook up and break up and become more incestuous by the day creating bigger problems than necessary) However, he is 8 years older, out of school, divorced, and has undeclaired intentions. And by undeclaired I mean he acts like an older brother, but then got frustraited with me, and complained about mixed signals. It was a very awkward conversation that really went nowhere except he said Ryan was a fool, I wasn't a kid, and he had to go get ready for a date, and then told me to remember to tie my shoes.

Its playful between us, but I dont know if I like him and he is so old. But he offered to save me from the embarassment of going alone. Told me to consider him as the daddy at the highschool dance. Which is disturbing on some level. But he is fun to talk to, and he is good with cars. We are kinda going through the basics of recognizing different cars and things.

Only I dont want to give up on Ryan. Bringing someone if he doesn't is prolly a bad idea, and if he does bring someone... ouch. I dont want to be odd person left out. I would like to think I could depend on my girl friends to protect me there, but they all end up hooking up either with the usual partner, or someone there.

Plus I would like somoene to fed off the assholes. I have a knack for trouble, and last time I went alone someone brazenly showed a hand down the side of my pants after coming up behind me. And a few times before that my arm got broke with the crazy creep.

Hmmm....

I say you take a break, just take a break from it ALL... you've been through the emotional wringer, no one who's just gone through the mess you did is prepared to make rational decisions under certain circumstances... and one of those certain circumstances is a pairing-up night... you need to relax, let go, free your mind of the whirlwind that is guys... you're letting all these different guys get under your skin and it sounds like it's REALLY fucking with your head.

Go out, by yourself... and finish the night, by yourself... DON'T pair off with anyone, I'm not suggesting be a slut and grind with every guy on the dance floor... just play the part of the cool girl out for a fun night and NOTHING ELSE, make up your mind that you're simply NOT going to latch on to anyone. You're just out to have fun with your friends.

There is an admirable aspect to a chick who can go out with a pack of friends and resist the temptation to pair up... you HAVE to respect someone who is strong enough to stick it solo during/after a relationship break... it's not sad, it's not pathetic... even if both you and Ryan dance with other people, and you don't pair off with your guy, he'll notice... and he'll respect you for it. If he pairs off it's like he's rubbing it in your face, that makes him the weaker person.

Just be strong, be YOU and just you... don't be you and some-other-guy... you need time to re-develop your independance. Once you can be happy by yourself again then you're ready for another guy, or Ryan if that works out again.

I strongly believe that you can't be trully happy in a relationship until you find a way to be happy on your own.

quote:Originally posted by Isabel:

Plus I would like somoene to fed off the assholes. I have a knack for trouble, and last time I went alone someone brazenly showed a hand down the side of my pants after coming up behind me. And a few times before that my arm got broke with the crazy creep.

You don't have to worry about that if I rent out the other room in your place. I grew up in 'the ghetto.'

Plus, I have a mighty fine shotgun.

Other than that, good luck getting back into the fray. Just remember what you did wrong last time, and try to avoid it the next time.

Ive been wanting to vent this for a while.

Your a stupid fucking whore. I can see why ryan dosent wanna get back with your stupid ass. First, you get to emotional over EVERYTHING. wow a little fucking date, should i go alone or with my 200 boyfriends.

GO ALONE YOU STUPID BITCH OR DONT GO?!.

Second, you have WAAAY to many male friends, yeah sure itd be fine if they were friends, but you wanna fucking date them all. You stupid skank, i wouldnt want your ex boyfriends hanging around when i was with you either you stupid fucking bitch. how about you bring your boyfriends over and fuck them all right infront of him, cuz thats basically what your doing .

whew...



[This message has been edited by akk (edited 09-18-2003).]

QUIET, YOU FOOL!

You're fucking over my 100 bucks a month rent deal...

Hey akk... guess what....

FUCK YOU, YA LITTLE IGNORANT, SPITEFULL, NASTY PIECE OF SHIT N00B!!!!

quote:Originally posted by Sarcophagus:

Hey akk... guess what....

FUCK YOU, YA LITTLE IGNORANT, SPITEFULL, NASTY PIECE OF SHIT N00B!!!!

I love ya too bitch. By the way i suggest getting some new panties, since those superman ones dont fit you well. Too dikeish.

<3

quote:Originally posted by akk:

Ive been wanting to vent this for a while.

Your a stupid fucking whore. I can see why ryan dosent wanna get back with your stupid ass. First, you get to emotional over EVERYTHING. wow a little fucking date, should i go alone or with my 200 boyfriends.

GO ALONE YOU STUPID BITCH OR DONT GO?!.

Second, you have WAAAY to many male friends, yeah sure itd be fine if they were friends, but you wanna fucking date them all. You stupid skank, i wouldnt want your ex boyfriends hanging around when i was with you either you stupid fucking bitch. how about you bring your boyfriends over and fuck them all right infront of him, cuz thats basically what your doing .

whew...]



blah blah blah yadda yadda.

PLEASE take the time to find out a little more before you post on one of my threads, and do try to be more constructive. It would save us all a lot of time, and many headaches.

I am not a whore. I have had exactly 2 bfs. Ryan, and the ex who helped screw things up with Ryan. Both I knew for a decent length of time before we decided to up the ante.

I am not stupid. In fact, I would venture to say I could take you on in almost any subject. I am inexperienced with the whole relationship thing, and guys, and in general take things at face value which turns out to not be so good.

I do have many guy friends. I am more interested in hanging around a garage and going dumpster diving than shopping in a mall. I generally piss off girls. A lot. Guys seem to be more layed back, and easier to deal with. I do NOT want to date them all.

However it seems that an abnormal amount of them have come out of the woodwork and left me dumbstruck in the past year. Thus I find myself very suspicious of all of their motives. There seems to be a general consensus here that a guy is not a girls friend unless he wants to fuck her and screwed up somewhere. Ladder theory it was called?

And how on gods green earth did you come to the conclusion that I seem to be fucking every single one of these guys infront of Ryan? You make no sense there.

BTW, be happy that I even bothered to reply to your post. I try to not make it a habit of replying to rude, useless posters.

oh and sarc...thanks. Sounds like an idea. I just dont want to be left at the bar, but I guess that is up to me, and how gutsy I can be- if I can brave danceing alone and look the fool I am.

quote:Originally posted by Kikey_Kikeowitz:

You don't have to worry about that if I rent out the other room in your place. I grew up in 'the ghetto.'

Plus, I have a mighty fine shotgun.





If you rent the room, your going to follow me around 6th street and west campus with your shotgun all weekend?

While that might do the trick, I think I want to have a little more fun than that would allow...



however what an interesting thread living together could make for spurious... "life of Isabel and Kikey- the war".

It would go something like this:

"G-d Dammit she didn't come in till 3 am, and left her underwear in the hallway again!! And WHY wont she shut the door to the shower when she is in there? It makes the whole place sticky. (insert frustraited kikey noise)"

"he didn't do the dishes again. Left a huge pile of them to where it took me an extra hour to cook dinner. NOT to mention brought a girl back and didn't tell me she was there. Scared the shit out of me and I banged my knee against the wall when i was startled"

"Well, she is such a klutz it would have happened anyway. She fell down the stairs twice yesterday. She can barely sit her ass is so bruised..."

and on and on...dirty laundry all over the place- most of it mine. *hangs head*

[This message has been edited by Isabel (edited 09-19-2003).]

quote:Originally posted by Isabel:



If you rent the room, your going to follow me around 6th street and west campus with your shotgun all weekend?

Can you do that in Texas?

They always make a fuss when I try it here.

I think its frowned upon here as well.

At least on 6th street for sure. Too many bars, and they have the cops out in riot gear fairly often.

Ah, well.

Here's how it'll work:

someone gives you shit, tries to rape you whatever, get the guys address, and I'll go and smack him on the back of the head with my home-made slapper and put a round of buckshot in the back of his knee.

I fucking hate rapists. Date rapists, in particular.

"I am not a whore. I have had exactly 2 bfs. Ryan, and the ex who helped screw things up with Ryan. Both I knew for a decent length of time before we decided to up the ante."

You're probably not, but to me it seems as you are. If i was your boyfriend i would not stand for all these guys you have around. Im glad he dosent.



"I am not stupid. In fact, I would venture to say I could take you on in almost any subject. I am inexperienced with the whole relationship thing, and guys, and in general take things at face value which turns out to not be so good."

You are smarter then most others here, yes.

I would be glad to have a nice talk with you anytime, my AIM is czars puppet.

"I do have many guy friends. I am more interested in hanging around a garage and going dumpster diving than shopping in a mall. I generally piss off girls. A lot. Guys seem to be more layed back, and easier to deal with. I do NOT want to date them all.

However it seems that an abnormal amount of them have come out of the woodwork and left me dumbstruck in the past year. Thus I find myself very suspicious of all of their motives. There seems to be a general consensus here that a guy is not a girls friend unless he wants to fuck her and screwed up somewhere. Ladder theory it was called?"

Yes you have too many guyfriends. Why dont you just hangout with ryan and his friends?

Do you need to become a friend with EVERY guy you meet, do you always need to hang out with your Ex's ( this would piss me off so much, i can see it does the same for him).



"And how on gods green earth did you come to the conclusion that I seem to be fucking every single one of these guys infront of Ryan? You make no sense there.

BTW, be happy that I even bothered to reply to your post. I try to not make it a habit of replying to rude, useless posters."

I didnt mean that you were actually having sex with them, but from the way you are it seems you hang out with them more then your boyfriend.

And i try not to be rude, my apology but ive been sick all week, had to take it out on someone .

A wise man once said, "Even if it is painful and lonely, associate with worthy companions."

Another wise man once said, "Don't feed the trolls."

Another wise man once said, "Happiness Is A Warm Gun"

quote:Originally posted by akk:

"I am not a whore. I have had exactly 2 bfs. Ryan, and the ex who helped screw things up with Ryan. Both I knew for a decent length of time before we decided to up the ante."

You're probably not, but to me it seems as you are.

She just said she wasn't, and you admitted that she "probably wasn't" so this is where you say "ok, I was wrong"... NOT "but I still think that you are!" because you have no bloody foundation.

quote:If i was your boyfriend i would not stand for all these guys you have around.

That's because you're insecure.



quote:"I do have many guy friends. I generally piss off girls. A lot. Guys seem to be more layed back, and easier to deal with. I do NOT want to date them all."

Yes you have too many guyfriends.

no such thing as too many guy friends... furthermore who are you to decide how many friends and of what sex someone should or shouldn't have? No one has that right...

I fully aggree with her that female friends are so much more difficult to get along with... the good chicks are few and far between! Do you have any idea how difficult it is to find a chick who won't stab you in the back, won't behave like a total sissy, won't act like a retarded bimbo, or be a total bitch 90% of the time? In my life I've only known 2! Two cool chicks in 22 years!

I can't even count the number of amazingly cool guy friends I've had... Some girls just get along better with guys, it has nothing to do with being a slut, or wanting to fuck them all... it just means we're different, special... tomboys if you hadn't figured that out by now.

quote:Why dont you just hangout with ryan and his friends?

She does.

quote:Do you need to become a friend with EVERY guy you meet

Did you need to become friends with anyone you know? Well, no... but it sure was nice wasn't it?

quote:do you always need to hang out with your Ex's (this would piss me off so much, i can see it does the same for him).

Again, that whole insecurity thing... if you cannot yet handle a woman maintaining a friendship with a guy or guys (even if he's an ex) then you've got a whole lot of learning to do... I suggest workin on that one asap...



quote:

I didnt mean that you were actually having sex with them, but from the way you are it seems you hang out with them more then your boyfriend.

Little backtracking there eh?

quote:And i try not to be rude, my apology but ive been sick all week, had to take it out on someone .

No you didn't, you have no excuse.



[This message has been edited by Sarcophagus (edited 09-19-2003).]

quote:Originally posted by Spiffy McBang:

Another wise man once said, "Don't feed the trolls."

I'll put it in all caps next time.

"She just said she wasn't, and you admitted that she "probably wasn't" so this is where you say "ok, I was wrong"... NOT "but I still think that you are!" because you have no bloody foundation"

Sorry for my english bitch. It isnt my native tounge.

"That's because you're insecure."

edit- Why dont you go fix things with your likfe sarc before you say how much i dont get along with people etc.

No, my girlfriend has male friends. She dosent sleep or hang around with her Ex's though like isabel does. Everything other then that im fine with.

"No you didn't, you have no excuse."

Would you like to suck my dick?

how about you go fix things with your life before you suggest things in mine?

[This message has been edited by akk (edited 09-19-2003).]

[This message has been edited by akk (edited 09-19-2003).]

[This message has been edited by akk (edited 09-19-2003).]

I agree with you, Kikey, about rapists/date rapists. Though for me, I tend to hate every ham-handed, square-faced, slimy "whoa..boobs" type guy I run into.

Kikey, want an HK94, MAK90 or Dragunov SVD rifle? The last one's a genuine Ruskie, none of that Romanian junk here. They'll help you protect the dame, y'hear

Isabel, everyone on the East Coast is talking about you (:P)

-Infrared

quote:Originally posted by Infrared:

Kikey, want an HK94, MAK90 or Dragunov SVD rifle? The last one's a genuine Ruskie, none of that Romanian junk here. They'll help you protect the dame, y'hear



I wish.

I'm not exactly of the correct expired time on earth to legally own a firearm outright by myself.

I wouldn't want to get any decent people into shit with straw purchases, so I'll have to respectfully decline.

So you're 17-20?

Jesus.

I ask that because Fed law states that you have to be 18 to legally own a long gun, 21 to own a handgun. State laws vary though, I'm not sure about Arizona's, but they can't be that bad. I'm next door in New Mexico.

And just fyi, I wasn't propositioning you illegally; had you wanted to buy something, we would've gone through the legal (but annoying) channels (transfer to FFL, etc)

-Infrared

Woops, this is turning into a W&C post. Sorry Isabel, not trying to hijack

Okay Isabel...I truly don't want this to sound spiteful or anything but get over it!

It seems that every post you write is you getting too freaked out by the being alone thing...Why not sit back and realise that you don't need a guy to function correctly?

The way you write makes it sound like you NEED people around you...That you will die if you don't have people!

Being alone is one of life's little bitches but it's one of those things you have to keep your head up just get over it...We are all alone at some point in our lives.

You write as if you're getting over a heroin addiction or something...It's distsressing to think that a girl as nice as you is too sensitive about being alone.

Please just get over it!

psycho, I know that most of my posts recently are about being alone in a round about way. But its more like I just want to save the relationships that I have-- not that I am afraid to be alone. (Well, okay, so the apartment is creepy when going from four people to just one, but you can understand that right?)

I used to be alone all the time. I never got to make friends because I was always with my parents in the middle of nowhere. They would pick me up from school, and drive back out to the camp or the boat, and I would shower in a state park the next morning on the way to school again. I am used to entertaining myself and even taking care of myself. After I started highschool, my parents left me home for months at a time by myself. I would get a stack of blank checks and told to pay the bills when they needed to be payed. Having company is infinately better, but going back to the way things were before I left home is not the end all for me.

This is a forum for relationship problems and a good tool for venting without having those people closest to you look like your a freak for all the worrying you do. There is a whole other side of me that is much stronger, which doesn't get shown too much here, becuase I am indulging in all my fears and weaknesses. I am sorry if I whine too much, but it helps me to get over it. I can look back at it, and where I am being silly, and how to correct it.

infrared- the whole east coast?...oh. HEY. I am NOT messed up enough for you to be able to compair me with a hurricane. >

and kikey... can you also get a paint gun and extend your protection to the guys who are just plain annoying and mean? No busting knee caps...just using the paintballs to make a smiley face bruise on their ass for a week..

its good target practice too

oh, and I thought you were like 30 for some reason..

[This message has been edited by Isabel (edited 09-19-2003).]

If I read one more topic like this, I'm going to throw my monitor out of the window.

quote:Originally posted by 256:

If I read one more topic like this, I'm going to throw my monitor out of the window.



YAY! one less asshole on totse!!!

You never responded to me..

Well, I thought Sarc did a fairly good job of that.

Besides, there are spiffy's orders...

quote:Originally posted by 256:

If I read one more topic like this, I'm going to throw my monitor out of the window.





STFU dipshit. Why don't you start a scintillating topic instead of complaining about the ones you deign to read?

You're not doing anyone in this forum any favors by gracing us with your presence.

quote:Originally posted by Isabel:

Well, I thought Sarc did a fairly good job of that.

Besides, there are spiffy's orders...

quote:Originally posted by Isabel:

infrared- the whole east coast?...oh. HEY. I am NOT messed up enough for you to be able to compair me with a hurricane. >



Heh...I wasn't saying that. It was the same-name thing I was playing on, that's it. Don't read too far into things there