okie... so I am still not perfectly comfortable in my appartment and get freaked out at night.

I can't call Ryan anymore..just doesn't feel right. I can't call my ex anymore, or my friend. I have damn few choices cause only my guy friends would be willing to not hang up and then beat my ass to a pulp the next day for waking them at 3 am.

This I realized was a very large problem as I got in extremly late, only to find out I forgot to lock the door when I left. And I have a substantial amount of closets which make me very nervous.

Anyway, as hard as I tried, I couldn't get myself to open the closets, and I couldn't get to sleep, so I was left wandering what the hell to do. I ended up calling the semi obsessed guy, who readily drove an hour at 3 am to open my closets for me. (*hangs head in shame*)

So I waited, he came and checked out the closets. All was well. I was exhausted, and yet I could not kick him out, tho I wanted to. (I realize how crummy that is too- but I never claimed to be a saint) So I sat there on the couch and talked to him for an hour.

It was 5 am and I was falling asleep in mid sentance when it occured to me that I was more comfortable perched outside on my doorstep with a hammer waiting for dawn than I was with him standing over me breathing down my neck.

This is the same guy who attempted to feel where my seatbelt was, told random people I was his gf, and stole one of my shirts out of my closet for mysterious purposes I dont want to think about. (the shirt wasn't that important to me, I let him have it, rather than bring it up)

I am not going to call him again for that because it was just creepy. But who do I call, cause...well. It just sucks.

I want ryan back...he was a great closet opener and had other fun uses too. Plus I didn't get honked at as much when he was around. Went shopping today- 5 honks while waiting for the bus. dont honk people.. its mean.

ok... who to call... well, what you do is get a hold of a bunch of your "girl"-friends and tell them about your little problem. in my opinion, reading this just gave me a huge headache 'cause of the confusing situation, but i'll see what how i can summarize it

(my summarization)

someone ish stalking you. crazy person took shirt and does freaky/unknown stuff to it that only guys would do (kinda gives it away, but whatevah). you can't call any guys to help you out 'cause they's all horny, AND your ex is an extremely horny bastard. so... in conclusion, you afraid of stalker-person for some strange reason...

my advice: get a knife. or a gun. or better yet, (if you have the money) find a bouncer and hire him as a personal guard. it always works

Shalakai

Who's your Ghaaaaaaaaaaaandi?

You need to learn to be on your own, Isabel. I think Spiffy posted a while back that you showed some signs of dependency, and I think he was right on. To paraphrase my favorite author, you need to be able to say "I" before you can say "I love you."

I think you should not call anyone for a while.

As far as the honks go, I'm sure they suck, but talk to some girl who is also alone and does not get them. I'd bet that’s worse.

-Easy

My first response is to say thats not true and go all out with defenses on that one... I dont like it. Have seen dependent people, latched onto bastards, and swore I would never be like that.

My next reaction is wanting to know why you say that, cause it scares me. I dont ever want to be like my aunt.

(her husband manufactured drugs in her back yard, stole her truck, put a lean on her house, took 20 grand from my grandparents then got busted by the cops, and had her thrown in jail for a month. She is currently in a broken down trailer on his parents property, waiting for him to get out of jail.) < will not be me in 20 years.

I must say you have to learn to be alone.

It sucks at times, believe me...I have the house to myself for about 6 months out of the whole year when my Dad goes on his holidays with his friends.

One of my biggest fears was being alone...But when I confronted it I realised I could function alone.

Now I prefer being alone!

Just confront your fears, Isabel and open them closets of yours (hold a hammer over your head ready to strike if it will make you feel better! )

You'll be fine!

Get a gun, when in Texas do as Texans do. http://www.stupid-boy.com/smilies/contrib/blackeye/2ar15smilie.gif" width="90" height="90 (http://www.stupid-boy.com/smilies/contrib/blackeye/2ar15smilie.gif" width="90" height="90)

quote:Originally posted by daredevil:

[B][b] Get a gun, when in Texas do as Texans do

working on it

found a gun range to shoot here, but my folks want me to wait till they work with me over winter break. My dads words "it should be an extension of your hand. Right now you are so out of practice that I am not comfortable with you taking your gun back to Austin." So I have to go shooting with him for a couple of months, and then he will allow me to take my gun back home.

Problem is that I dont have time to go back every weekend to work with him, and I really do need to be more comfortable before I think about having one in my home. Not just with using the gun, but with being alone in my place.

Honestly, I am so jumpy, I would not trust myself with it. No one can afford to make a mistake with a gun. I am so afraid of little things that it would be too tempting to pull it out at every little prick of my neck- and that is dangerous. Even if there is nothing in my appartment to damage, bullets can go through walls, and I would never forgive myself.

quote:Originally posted by Isabel:



My next reaction is wanting to know why you say that,

Your entire post screams dependency, but it is very easy for you not to see it. Reread it, especially the part about you needing the psycho and not being able to get rid of him, and then reread your story about your aunt and see if there are any similarities.

If you can see it, then don't be scared. Change is easy at that point. Well, not super easy, but the scary thing is not seeing it.

I'll check back later.

-Easy

Wow, I thought you were a tomgirl?

You sound like my sissy best friend Sarah, she's totaly paranoid about the strangest things. I think her mom has a lot to do with it though, she's like afriad of the mailman. :P

And GEEEEEZE, you would sacrifice your guys to whoever is lurking in your closet? How cruel! How do they feel about being used as axe murderer bait? You obviously KNOW deep down that nothing/no-one is in there, otherwise you wouldn't risk your friends' lives.

My mum and I were mugged when I was five, so I had HEAPS of issues to get over as a child, even still, I've confronted them head-on and got over them. It's embarrassing, but true, that when I'm alone at night I tend to get a bit freaked out... and once slept with a stungun because the goddamn bumps-in-the-night wouldn't NOT shut up... but NEVER did I call and admit to anyone that I was afriad, that would be letting my fears defeat me... and I would look like a big pussy. Can't have that!

I understand how scary it can be sometimes... but you just have to deal with it, just open those closet doors, no matter how freaky it is. You'll be so proud of yourself and it'll get easier every time.

Most of the time I do open them myself. But this time I had a brain lapse or something, and the front door was unlocked. Besides, I was willing to sacrafice the obsessed guys life, not my best buddies. Athough I dont think that makes it any better.

What is your definition of tomgirl? I still go hunting, hiking, and push people to do things. I am NOT afraid of the mailman. Just have had too many bad experiences and close calls with home invasion shit. I am just as adventurous as the next person outside the house. But I feel more prepared there. I am not asleep in bed, half dressed without my contacts on. There are other people around, or I can get their attention (I think) easier than when I am alone in my appartment in the middle of the night.

and the only reason I call the guys is because every girl I know wouldn't put up with it. They would have my scalp within the hour for waking them up.

[This message has been edited by Isabel (edited 09-14-2003).]

Easy, I see no similarities. I get that needing someone to deal with the closets was pretty insane, and it was a really bad idea to ask him. I hadn't talked to him in over two months, and the goal was to never let him figure out where I lived again. But I didn't thow him out becuase that would be just plain rude. "thank you for coming, hope your drive was nice, now please leave cause I dont like you and your freaking me out" ?

To me, asking someone you dont like because they are just a little weird to come over and check out your place when its 3 am and the door was unlocked, is not the same as staying with your husband even after he stole everything you had, and gave you a criminal record to where you couldn't go back to your old job at the bank. She still thinks he loves her, even though he tried to pin the drug thing on both of them to get a lighter sentance.

You could move to a simpler apartment. Or get a roommate, share the rent...

But seriously, just get a bat and a hatchet and open every hiding spot in your apartment. Start by the ones closest to the front door. That way you will have cleared a path to the exit in the very unlikely case there is a bitch hiding in your closet.

Or you could buy a gun and a silencer. Go to every closet door, bust a few caps in each one, then open it up. I wouldn't recommend that... But buying a gun might be good if you aren't jumpy enough to shoot anybody who suprises you.

Or...get a boyfriend. Keep him at your house by givinghim head. Har har har

Isabel, I know you were not planning on dating the psycho, but you still depended on someone you should stay away from. With your ex and other friend when you were still with Ryan, you chose your short term needs over what was best in the long run. The same thing happened again. This is how dependent relationships start. More than likely, your aunt was not that abused at first.

Anyway, my opinion is you need to learn how to live single, at least till Ryan gives you another chance.

-Easy

I think you know what you want to do, and I don't want to really hash this out anymore on the board, but feel free to send me an email if you wish to continue discussing it.

quote:Originally posted by Isabel:

I want ryan back...he was a great closet openerand had other fun uses too. Plus I didn't get honked at as much when he was around. Went shopping today- 5 honks while waiting for the bus. dont honk people.. its mean.

Ya should have used more common sense when you were making him hold your freakin backpack while you took off to go see the x. That and the fact that you (snuggled) with his sorry ass. I'm glad you're scared. hahahhaAHAHAHAAHAHA Why not try not to forget to lock you door?



[This message has been edited by LwaysTired (edited 09-15-2003).]

Who do you call? No one.

You may not be dependant on anyone in particular, but you're not totally self-sufficient, either. I'm not assuming anything; just look at &TOTSE. How many times have you posted about some major drama in your life? By no means do I say this to try and drive you away, but at the same time, you show a measure of dependancy on others (ie. us) to help you figure out how to work through the tough times in your life.

If you don't want to end up like your aunt, what you should be striving for is the ability to handle any situation on your own. Only ask for help when faced with something beyond the scope of your physical or mental abilities that needs to be taken care of before you could possibly improve yourself to the point where you can do whatever it is that needs doing.

In this case, sure, you left the door unlocked, and you were flipped out. That's not unreasonable. However, it's also a perfect time to face your fear and throw open those closet doors so you can rest assured it's all good. "We have nothing to fear but fear itself," ever hear that one?

It's over and done with. Instead of wondering what you should be doing, learn from it. If there's something near the door that someone would trip over if they weren't used to your apartment's setup, keep track of what's there and look to see if it's been moved should a similar feeling of dread overcome you in the future. Hide a bat somewhere. I don't care if you're not big, those fucking things hurt no matter who swings them. You got through it, you're fine, now do something to make sure you'll be ready for a similar situation in the future.

[This message has been edited by Spiffy McBang (edited 09-15-2003).]

Ok, I'll out myself here...I have that irrational fear in the back of my head that the boogeyman, Freddy Krueger, Jason Voorhees and Michael Myers are lurking in my closets at any given time. Especially since I watch Halloween at least once per month.

Rather than beat myself up for it, I always remove the doors from all closets, wherever I live by myself. This also forces me to keep them tidy and orderly.

You know what would be fun? If you put little touches to your apartment that would scare the shit out of anyone who doesn't know you. For example, awards for being the best Target shooter at some competition (make it up!), little streaks of blood on your walls, a picture of Josef Stalin in a family setting, and a dismemberd hand. You know, stuff that would scare the shit out of an intruder, AND allow itself to an interior design project. Frightening and fun!

quote:Originally posted by Isabel:

Who do I call?

GHOSTBUSTERS!!!!  nah nah nah nah nah nah.... 

quote:Originally posted by jack's missing mind:

[B]a picture of Josef Stalin in a family setting[B]

Good one! May I also recommend fake human skin lampshades branded with swastikas?

And don't forget the "human head" cooler

-Infrared

hey isabel, they named a hurricane after you!!

you must really blow