Do you ever get the feeling that your partner is "spying" on you? Have you ever been accused of it yourself?

My partner jokes about it sometimes, but ya know, sometimes underneath humour is a little bit of truth... maybe the reason he jokes about it is because deep down he questions it?

At heart I'm playfull like a child, I like doing spontanious things with the motivation of making someone happy, I like giving good surprises, only stupid little things.

My partner and I don't have a car, we live in the city and it's just easier to rely on public transport. On my way home I pass close to his work. On two occasions I've been passing by 10-15 minutes before he would leave work, so I jogged my ass up to his work and met him, to walk home with him... and he jokes about me "spying" on him... now what I don't get is what he thinks I would learn from joining him on his walk home from work? I just can't see what I would have to gain from that... Yes, granted he's only joking... but I can't help but ponder over what puts the idea in his head in the first place...

If I really wanted to spy on him I'd install hidden cameras in his flat, I'd secretely take time off work and follow him around town, I'd monitor his phone and internet activity... he knows I'm intelligent enough to do all that wacky shit, and if I actually was doing any of that then I would TOTALY understand his worry, but he knows I'm not a fucking psycho and as far as I know he's completely trustworthy, so what on earth could be going on?

[This message has been edited by Sarcophagus (edited 09-12-2003).]

I get the feeling that there's trouble in the relationship.

It sounds like you have such an interesting complex life... and I must be honest, I really don't envy you. If I had to deal with stuff like that I'd go nuts.

Why is your ex-fiance stalking you?

To begin with I have no reason to suspect that my fiance is up to mischief that would bother me, so I have no motive to spy on him, as far as I'm concerned he tells me everything I need to know... I respect him enough to believe that he's being honest and open with me. If he ever gives me a reason to doubt that then I still wouldn't be crazed enough to spy on him, I'd like to think he knows enough about me to know I'm straightforward about things I don't like. I'm not bloody sneaky.

quote:Originally posted by Sarcophagus:

My partner and I don't have a car, we live in the city and it's just easier to rely on public transport. On my way home I pass close to his work. On two occasions I've been passing by 10-15 minutes before he would leave work, so I jogged my ass up to his work and met him, to walk home with him... and he jokes about me "spying" on him...

If he only does that when you go to his job, either he meets up with another chick after work and fucks her, or he would be embarassed to be seen with you by his co-workers. Either that or you follow him around too much and he thinks being at his job is crossing the line. So he jokingly says your spying because it might get you all sensitive and make you try to please him more and question your actions. Tries to give you a guilty conscience so that he can go fuck that chick, or not be seen with you, or have more free space.



Actually I made that all up. I want a beer.

:-D

quote:Originally posted by Sarcophagus:

Do you ever get the feeling that your partner is "spying" on you?

First bf I ever had bugged my computer with a special homemade trojan virus. Gave him complete acess to my im history, and control over my webcam and mic.

I never turned off my computer either. Just the screen. He could watch me sleep all night and every other time. My camera was aimed right down my side of the room, across my bed. He could also turn on the mic and listen to me and my roommate talk. Very creepy.

But your not doing that.. I dunno ask him if it really bothers him but keep it light. I duno, I am not the best person to give advice as I so very recently crashed and burned and that makes my record more than a little sad. but goodluck with it.

It's a little bit of a slippery situation.. it's easy to say, no, he's most likely not doing anything, don't worry, but the idea's in your head. Yet, if it's true that he's only joking, and he finds out you started to question why he did that, he's going to feel like he has to be careful what he pokes fun at, which would make him feel like he's acting with a little less freedom.

If it's really bothering you, though, you're better off telling him straight out that you're growing uncomfortable with the spying remarks, joking or not. Better to get him to stop than to have your faith shaken a little bit more each time it happens.