I was not going to post this, but I figured I might as well. I don't want to explain my whole life story, so basically I will just try and make it quick. I met this girl that I have posed about before at a best friends house about a month ago, and I really didn't talk to her, until she went to the beach. She would call my friends house, and she would only want to talk to me, no one else when I was over there. We started talking, and when she came home, we started to hang out and get to know each other. I REALLY began to like her, a lot. I am picky about who I like, and this girl was my type, like 100%. When we got to know each other better, she would rest her hand on my leg while driving, we would hold hands, she would hang on me when we were walking anywhere..stuff like that when we werent even going out. A little while later, I asked her one night if she liked me more than a friend, and she said "yes." I asked her if she needed anymore time to get to know each other more, and she said "no way". I gave her like 20 different times to say, "no, I only like you as a friend". So, we get to her house at night, we make out which was the first time we actually "made out" other than kissing, and I asked her out then. She said, "yes, yes, finally", so I was pretty happy. Two days later, I find out that she called my best friend, who she liked before me, and told him that she wasnt sure if she should have said yes to me when I asked her out. That night, I couldn't call her, so I was worrying all night about this. I asked her the next day, and she said yes, she said that, and that she was really confused about everything, and her life in general. She also said that she really does like me, and that she needs time to think. I find out that she will call my friends house, asking for my best friend (he lives with another friend of mine) and all she wants to do is talk to him, but she still calls me every day, sometimes two times a day, and we always talk on the net. I also hear from her friends that she talks so much about me, and that she speaks highly of me all of the time..."ok". My best friend doesnt even like her, but she still talks to him. Also, I found out some nasty, true shit on her from her other friend, and I get pissed at her at times so I just want to tell everyone, but I remember that it wouldnt be nice, so I keep to myself. Another thing: She liked my friend who lives with my best friend first, then my best friend, and then to me, if this means anything, but she says that she didnt even like my on friend that much at all. I wouldnt think this much about it, but its just that I like her soo much, as again, she is completely my type. I will wake up, and I just start to think about her, and I will think about her for the rest of the day. I have no idea what to do, what this means, or anything. Should I wait and give her time, even though she still hasnt said anything about the relationship yet, or what? She even tells me she still likes me, but she hasnt said "...as a friend" yet. We even hang out still, but she hasnt said anything yet. Should I stop talking to her/hanging out with her? Should I come out and ask her to tell me what she wants? Too many options...ugh. Thanks for any advice, and for reading this.

Edit: Spelling

[This message has been edited by almightyares (edited 09-10-2003).]

Aaaaaah...Yet another person who is going through the same thing as I went through a million times!

Basically mate, the best thing to do in that sitch is just come out and say "What's the big fuckin' deal bitch?!", although not in those exact words!

Just ask her what the deal is and what's going on between you two!

I have had a girl like that and she liked my best friend...Then we started talking and got really close and shit...Then she screwed me over for some other guy.

Basically, this girl sounds alot like the girl I was talking about...She drags men in, gets them comfortable, gets bored and moves on...Like the flavour of the week!

Just tread carefully mate...And don't get TOO attached until you think it's safe!

[This message has been edited by psycho_8b (edited 09-10-2003).]

Almighty dearie, in the future...paragraphs!

However, that big block of gray text accurately symbolizes your current thought processes: a confused, jumbled mess but some logic lies in there somewhere.

Funny, I like this guy right now and I go around asking others "Is this right, or is this weird?" We all have trouble trusting our own judgements on these matters. Sounds like both you and the girl have the same trouble.

This is indeed one of those things that needs time to sort out. When you think you've found someone that's completely your type, it's hard to wait. You want to know right now how she feels so you can figure out how you feel.

But make it easier on yourself and listen to her, and listen to your own voice. You can never be sure of the motivation behind other people's words, so don't take them too seriously.

[This message has been edited by deadlycindy (edited 09-10-2003).]

quote:Originally posted by deadlycindy:

[B]Almighty dearie, in the future...paragraphs!

However, that big block of gray text accurately symbolizes your current thought processes: a confused, jumbled mess but some logic lies in there somewhere.

Tee-hee! Will you marry me!?

Thank you both for your replies. Is it logical to say that because her and I come from totally different pasts (she has gone through some major family problems, and turned to drugs to get away from reality, and I, not having any family problems at all, nor doing any drugs) make the relationship susceptible to failure from the "totally different" pasts?

Guh. Depends on how much she has been able to make peace with her past. If she's carrying a lot of baggage around that you can't relate to, the relationship is doomed. I could be wrong, but this is just what I've seen...time and again.

I'm curious...in what way is she "just your type?"

Don't see it as a complete loss man...I didn't mean for my first post to sound cynical...Just learn the lay of the land as it were.

As I said, just ask her what the deal is with you guys!

And what I didn't say in my last post, good luck, mate!

i think you should meet up with her say, invite her to a lunch or dinner basically where you can talk. Try to sort things out and be patient with her. You're in a much better social state in terms of your relationship with a girl than I am. The key here is patience & active listening (i know it sounds kinda cheesy) but especially in serious conversations, you have to make her feel like you are actually paying attention, and not formulating a response while she talks.

other than that, best of luck to you

Hey deadly...are you a psychologist? Just wondering, haha...now that I think about it, she really isn't completely my type...it's just that I...I don't know. For some reason, I like her a lot, and I can't figure out why. Boy, I am really confused now. This has been my first girlfriend (for a two day relationship) in a while because I have several hobbies in which I am active in, and I never really wanted a girlfriend again for a while until this happened.

I know I valued her opinion on sex, and supposedly she isn't the type of girl that wants a relationship in which it is based on sex, which I agree totally on. She asked me the one day if I like to "cuddle", and I said yes, and the one night I held her in my arms for like two hours straight while we were talking. I can't believe her mind changed so quickly about us. I am afraid to bug her bout what is going on between us...I feel like I would be rushing her, but again she still hasn't mentioned it yet. God I am so confused...and thanks again for everyones help.

you see, the EXACT thing happened to me. and i mean exact. she was going out with one of my best friends, then another, and now me. and she still talks to the first sometimes (not much) and even though hes my friend it still irks me sometimes. but ive been going out with her for about a month, and it got off to a really bad start, but everything is fine now. actually its great. so i guess my opinion on the subject would just be give it time. but, i did once ask her wtf was going on, in those words, because my friend lied to her and kissed her and shit while i was gone (>: fuckin bastard) but we got it worked out, and it really wasnt that big of a deal. so just give it a little time, and confront her about it. talk with your other friends about it (the ones who know her). thats what i did, before i asked her straight to her face what the deal was. just because my friends gave me anough courage to do it. ok, now im just rambling, so now im gonna go. good luck man