this is not one of those how do I talk to a girl posts. However, i want to know, what do you say to a girl once you get to know her a bit? I mean i find the conversations are quite one-sided. Can anyone please help me? (note to posters my social IQ is probably a little over that of a chipmunk)

Chipmunks are sooo cute... scamper up to her, and beg a little, see if she'll hand-feed you little bits of food, nibble them daintily, and make sure you jam your cheeks as full as they can get, she'll think you're really cute and she'll want to touch you, just flip over on your belly so that she can get at your.... er,

That didn't help did it.

Do you have anything in common with her? Do you know much about her? Talking about yourself all the time isn't the most appealing thing, sort of makes you appear to be in love with yourself. Instead, asking a girl questions about herself is usually the best way to bring her into a conversation. It's the best way to find out what you have in common, and then base further discussions on those things that you share.

Just think up a bunch of different questions, a mental checklist, then when you're with her and things get a bit too quiet you can fire away with some of the questions, that'll get the ball rolling.

[This message has been edited by Sarcophagus (edited 09-10-2003).]

dude i know this is gonna sound weird but its always worked for me, you have to be dating her. but just when you guys are sittin g there or laying there grab her boob.

1. it gets there attention

2. she will say something to you and just go off that.

and what Sarcophagus said is always good too, but theres only so much you can know bout someone

there was this one girl I had seen but never met that I really wanted to talk to. I'm usually pretty bad at talking to girls, but I'm great at coming up with over-elaborate schemes. I hadn't smoked for a while, but I had for about a year on and off before that. I just got me another pack of cigarretes and then waited til she went to her usual smoke spot outside of the science building. I walked past, pulled out a cig, and then acted like I couldn't find a match, so I asked her for a light.

not that you need to take up smoking, but if you rarely speak to a girl, but you know some of her habits, you can get the ball rolling that way. If you see her wear a shirt with a band on it, make a passing comment on it, or make a comment on the band later, even if she isn't wearing it.

Like I said, I am the master of over-elaborate plans. I would make an excellent villain in a TV show or comic. Since you already know her, I would just ask her about her day, and make menal notes on anything that she says bothers her or made her laugh. Bring it up later in a "running joke" or inside joke type way. although, you'll have to make sure she knows what you're talking about.

[This message has been edited by more_cake (edited 09-10-2003).]

quote:Originally posted by MonoxIde:

when you guys are sittin g there or laying there grab her boob.

or you could take the direct approach...

you could always just make jokes. make fun of her. pick out her strenghts, the things she's very comfortable with, and make fun of them. like, if she's really good at.. say.. tennis. tell her about how you could beat her because she sucks. gives you a good segway into conversation about tennis. jokes are always a good time. just so long as they're funny, slightly offensive, and not overkill.

be fun. girls like fun people. then again, i know nothing about girls. you could probably just ignore this post as it's useless. anyways, girls are stupid. i hate them.

Are you actually friends with her, or just acquantices (as in, you both know each other's name, and occasionally talk).

IF its the former, it shouldn't be a big problem. Start exchanging hugs with her whenever you see her, talk about class, sports, some event/topic that she might be involved in (ie. are you going to homecoming; isn't Ms. Teacher crazy?).

If you are acquanitences (I have to learn how to spell that word!), then try to build to a friend level. Become for physical (don't feel on her, just play with her, give her hugs, put your arm around her a little when you talk to her, etc.)

The key to conversation is to find common ground. Talking about class/school gets a bit boring once you've been talking about it awhile. As someone else said, think of topics before you talk to her. I literally outline (so to speak) my conversations in my head. Oh shit, now I have to keep talking so I can explain something.

Okay,the way I think about life is that you can change it simply by opening your mouth. I get a thought during class or something, and it occurs to me that I can change the course of the class/ day just by saying my thought or keeping it to myself. When I think of it that way, it makes the situation a lot simpler. It becomes just a matter of opening your mouth.

So, what I do is think of what I want to say, make sure it sounds ok, and then just spit it out (not literally). Maybe I'm not explaining this well enough, but basically, I like to simplify everything down a simple matter of opening my mouth. I don't like to be stuck thinking of what to say.

Talk about something new.

Watch TV and you'll find things to talk about!

ahh man im in the same kinda situation, theres this girl i like in my class, shes in all my classes because we are on the same course, anyway shes VERY VERY quiet but i think once i get to know her she will be greaaaat, i just aint got the guts OR know what to say to her should i go and help her with her work or just for a chat and say hello, arrrrr! i need to work something out by friday!

Ahh...that awkward stage, it's great, isint it? we all go through it, so dont worry. Eventually all you 13 year olds will understand the dynamics of male/female relationships, but in the meantime heres some tips.

-Listen to what she talks to her friends, and other people about, and try to relate. but don't give it away that you were actually evesdroping on her.

-Try to be relevent to your current situation. if your in class and at shcool talk about how much they suck that always worked for me.

Thanks for all the help. Btw, monoxide, i'd get slapped very VERY hard for that. lol.

And southernsun, take it gradually, say hello when you see her, so its not so sudden when you have a nice long conversation. Keep eye contact though.

Do some girls only answer in really small sentences like "yah" or "really?"

etc. I dont know about you, but the conversations usually turn one sided. I've only gotten her to ask a question one time. The rest of the time, the conversation sort of died. Do you guys think this means anything like say, i'm an annoyance or that she doesnt like me at all?

quote:Originally posted by Canuck:

Do some girls only answer in really small sentences like "yah" or "really?"

etc.

Yes, and it's annoying as hell. My advice is to try and coax the conversation out of her. Don't be afraid to ask her questions. Where are you from? What's your major? What kind of music do you listen to? Eventually, either you'll hit on something that kick-starts things, or she doesn't like you.

quote:Originally posted by Canuck:

I dont know about you, but the conversations usually turn one sided. I've only gotten her to ask a question one time. The rest of the time, the conversation sort of died. Do you guys think this means anything like say, i'm an annoyance or that she doesnt like me at all?

It's possible, but it's also possible the gals you choose are twits.

If you start a question with "what are your thoughts on..." then she can't respond with a one-word answer. If all she can say is, "I dunno" or "I never give that much thought" then you're wasting your time.

As psycho_8b suggested, keep up with current happenings and comment on them. Eyesore is also onto something, where he suggests finding out what she does really well and gently tease her about it. Give her a chance to show off.





[This message has been edited by deadlycindy (edited 09-11-2003).]

ok from a conversation about 5 months ago or around that, i found out that she's interested in photography and music. Photography is more of a hobby than an interest of mine, but I do enjoy it. Also, i don't exactly think she's a twit as she's quite intelligent. Put it this way, its hard to talk to her because shes one of those girls that is almost never seen talking to any guy. Better yet, one of her friends shows some animosity (hate) towards me.

oy. Ok so well this girl is everything to me but i dont have the greatest feeling about me & her. Maybe i just worry too much. Any ideas?

lol i apparently can sometimes be charming according to them lol dunno why they think that but i remember one time this girl who i was just friends with has said somehting like "i've broken a nail" or some shit like that and i said "awww... tahts too bad princess" and she's gone why do people call me a princess. and just straight into my head came "you know i'd treat u like a princess if i had the chance." and she was actually impressed i thought she'd like hit me or something but she didnt. another time she was talking bout how she thinks she's real ugly and i said "why dont u shut the fuck up and quit saying your ugly coz you and i both know you are SO beautiful" and now she wants me and thinks i want her. but women are shit. all they do is bring us men down.

anyways, my advice, as with everybody be yourself dont go hard on the compliments, dont be all smoothe coz i reckon thats real sleazy but just like make them sound like jokes but also let her know your serious. i guess.. anyway just me...

Spunky that line about how you'd treat her like a princess if you had the chance? pure genius. Only those situations dont arise too often.

Heres a question for any girls. Would you prefer someone who was sorta playful or someone who complimented you a lot, or someone who teased you AND complimented you?

Giving compliments is like falling off a log. Anyone can do it. Being a wiseguy...now that takes some smarts.

And compliment a gal on her abilities, accomplishments and talents, not genetic blessings.

get her online screen name, if she has one, and just messege her and be like , "hey" arnt you the girl from school?" or whatever and just start talking