All right, Im asking you all for your honest opinions...

My girlfriend and I have been seeing each other for almost a year now. Longest relationship ever for both of us. We each lost our virginity to each other. I love this girl. However, today she brought up the fact that I'm changing too much. Ill give you a bit of backround first...

Around 4 or 5 months ago, I decided to dreadlock my hair. Not for attention, but because I liked the style. So now my hair is pretty long.

Currently, Im looking into getting my lip pierced. Again, not for attention, but because I like it.

As of now, im growing mushrooms (you know, THAT kind of mushrooms). Now, Ive always been a person who would buy an 8th here and there, and I did buy some pure DXM powder.

Anyways, today, she says im changing. I ask for her reasons, and she gives me those. OK, I am changing. But whats wrong with change? She asks why I am doing the stuff I do, and I simply say, "I like what I do, or else I wouldnt do it." She say, thats not a good enough reason. So I say, "Well, you play basketball, volleyball, and softball, why do you do that?" Obviously, she responds "Because I like it". But I guess she fails to see the connection. Now Im going to TRY AS HARD AS I CAN to work this out, but in the end, if she cant accept me for who I am, I will end the relationship. I love her more than my own mother, and her family is like my family, as my family treats me like shit. I simply *CAN NOT* be with someone who wont allow change.

Now, I ask you all for advice and guidance.

well, my friend. youre stuck with a decision.

she likes who you WERE, not who you're becoming. it sounds like you either stop youre 'changing', or you decide to continue to do it... alone.

and also, if she doesnt love you for who you *truly* are, is she then the right one for you, hm? sorry to say, but love isnt fair, and love isnt nice. either you vendetta who you really are, or youre going to lose her.

the decision is up to you, of course

ts

[This message has been edited by Tru_Souljer (edited 09-01-2003).]

She thinks you're turning into a piece of shit stoner.

The shrooms are what did it.

Give them up, and she'll stick around.

This sounds like a very hard situation. Most of the time, a person who cannot accept someone in a relationship for who they are and tries to change them is not worth being around. As you mentioned your family treats you like shit, and her family is your family, so to speak, maybe just stay with the girl and see how things turn out. The drugs are the bigger issue than the dreadlocks and the piercing. Drugs can equate to some nasty problems, especially DXM powder.

You're probably what? 16 or 17?. If that's the way it's gotta be that's the way it's gotta be. You'll find someone else in time. Doesn't mean that it doesn't suck though.

Maybe you're changing too fast for her to deal with. Think about putting off the peircing for a little while.

Yeah, Im 17. I just wanted to say thanks for the advice, Im gonna sleep on it tonite, and then were gonna talk tomorrow. Ill keep you guys posted

yeah man just quit taking drugs or at least cut down on them make more time for the shit she likes to do and do something romantic for her suprise her with something special ok man then thing will get better

quote:Originally posted by Kikey_Kikeowitz:

She thinks you're turning into a piece of shit stoner.

The shrooms are what did it.

Give them up, and she'll stick around.

bingo. 420...

Maybe she doesn't like the fact that you are doing shrooms and changing drastically!

maybe she want's to break it off, and this is the first reason she can think of. everyone always seems to overlook this possibility.

it could be that, but also, she just might have realized that she doesn't like who you're becoming. she doesn't want to get caught up in a relationship where drugs are involved. or maybe she doesn't want to date someone who looks like a dirty druggie. who knows, you could probably figure it out better than us.

anyways, if you care enough to change for her, then do it. ask her what she doesn't like, and change it. i don't suggest this, because i think it's always best to be yourself, and not change for others... but if you love her that much.

i personally, would never change for someone else. i sugggest thatyou tell her that she either accept who you're becoming, or find someone else to dte.